


Ghosts of Yesterday

by jsaint34



Series: Ghosts [1]
Category: Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Canon Divergence - Post-Avengers (2012), F/M, Gen, Multi, Post-Avengers (2012), Post-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-19
Updated: 2015-06-21
Packaged: 2018-03-31 08:36:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 44,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3971248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jsaint34/pseuds/jsaint34
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A look at the partnership and relationship between Steve Rogers and Natasha Romanoff through the eyes of Dr. Ashley Kafka, and the other Avengers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Soldier

**Author's Note:**

  * For [YourLoyalReader (aletheakatherine)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aletheakatherine/gifts), [Yvonne](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yvonne/gifts).



> All characters in this story are owned by Marvel or Disney, and no infringement was intended. As with many of my fellow writers there were parts of Age of ULTRON I was disappointed with, but this is not a fix it story, I might hint at Bruce/Nat, if I do it won't be a big part of the story.

Steve Rogers is a man out of time. The last thing he remembered was crashing the Valkyrie in the Arctic, saving the world, and paying the ultimate price in the process. Seventy years would pass him by as he slept. When he woke, he found himself in a world he didn’t know. The war had ended, and now the hero known as Captain America had to find his place again. The second time he met Nick Fury, Steve was venting his frustrations on a heavy bag in a gymnasium in Brooklyn.

“Trouble sleeping?”

“I slept for seventy years Sir. I think I’ve had my fill.”

The soldier knew that the Director of SHIELD had a more important reason for seeking him out. He knew that a mission was imminent. What he didn’t know was that he would be facing aliens, meeting Gods, and becoming a leader for a team who on the surface couldn’t possibly get along. The billionaire, son to his late friend Howard Stark, Tony had an ego the size of Central Park. Dr. Banner, a genius whose curse was a monster hiding within him; Thor: heir apparent to the throne of Asgard, and the one who caught the most of Steve’s attention, Agent Natasha Romanoff: The Black Widow. 

“If you want to get up there you’re gonna need a ride.”

“I’ve got a ride; I could use a boost though.”

The Captain watched as the spy launched herself off of his shield, catching on to one of the alien craft as it soared over his head. In the end the Avengers defeated the invading force, and Thor took his brother Loki back to their home to face justice. After they all went their separate ways, Steve found himself more out place than before. He was adapting to his new time somewhat well, but at night he still had dreams of those he couldn’t save, and the life he lost. 

“Look Cap, you’ve seen a lot of things that you never thought you would have back in the forties. I told you the world was a lot stranger than you already knew.”

“What’s your point; Director? You know what I’ve lost, so get to it. Why are you here?”

“Believe it or not, I admire you. My Dad served in World War Two. I grew up hearing all about America’s Super-Soldier. But all of this stuff you’re holding in, it’s not good for you. Modern vets call it PTSD.”

“Yeah, I’ve heard the term. What does it have to do with me?”

“With you, everything, I can’t tell you what you should do Cap, but I can at least suggest you talk to someone.”

“Like who? A psychiatrist, no thanks. This is just something I need to work out on my own.”

“It’s only a suggestion, but I know one who can help. She’ll be professional, and non-judgmental. Here’s her card, think about it.”

Steve takes the card and reads the name. She has an office not far from his apartment, and Fury does seem to be genuinely concerned. Maybe this Dr. Ashley Kafka can help. Steve found himself in her office early one Tuesday morning.

“So Captain Rogers, Director Fury was able to convince you to come see me after all.”

“Not really, I was more curious than anything. For instance, your card says you’re the founder of the Ravencroft Institute for the Criminally Insane.”

“I am, but don’t let that fool you. Your next question is obviously why do I do it? Why have I devoted my life to trying to rehabilitate these criminals? Because everyone deserves a second chance Captain, that’s why I do it.”

“Then why would you want to help me?”

“Because I can’t stand seeing people in pain, especially good people like yourself. If I was to venture a guess I would say you have great feelings of regret, loss, more importantly survivor’s guilt. So tell me, why do you feel this way?”

“Where do I begin? I couldn’t save my best friend Bucky. I tried, I really did. And I keep replaying that moment over and over again, what if I’d been a little bit faster, maybe if I’d reached just a little farther, I could have saved him.”

“I’ve read what wasn’t classified from that mission Captain. Bucky Barnes protected you on that train, he protected his best friend. He damn well must have thought you were worth it.”

“You sound just like Peggy.”

“Peggy…?”

“Agent Carter, she was SSR and my liaison with the military after Dr. Erskine died.”

“Would you like to talk about her?”

“I’m not sure I should. At least not until I see her myself. Is that okay?”

“Fair enough. So what would you like to talk about?”

“I don’t know.”

“Then tell me about being back in the world, fighting again. What were you feeling in the battle against the aliens?”

“Disbelief, I’m a man from the past, where everything was cut and dried. You had your orders and you followed them. I guess that’s what I was thinking about the most. I had a mission, and a team to work with. Maybe I didn’t even see the aliens as aliens; I just saw them as a threat to the people, and for the duration I felt like me again, it was me doing what I’d been trained to do. I felt like I had a…”

“A purpose again.”

“Yeah, when they found me, I guess I felt lost, it’s not easy to wake up from…, seventy years passed me by, but for me it was like no time at all had passed. Then I had to acclimate to everything, cell phones, wi-fi, and New York being bigger and noisier than I was used to.”

“And I’d guess you’re still trying to acclimate yourself. Do you have anyone helping you?”

“The Avengers are trying. Tony makes his jokes, Thor; he’s just as lost sometimes as I am. Dr. Banner, I don’t see him all that often. Agent Barton is away, something SHIELD related. I’m sorry; I don’t think I should be telling you all of this.”

“It’s quite all right, Captain. Everything you say in here will remain completely confidential; Director Fury wouldn’t have recommended me to you if he didn’t feel you needed someone to talk to.”

“So he won’t even know that I came here?”

“Not unless you want him to know.”

“Okay, so I think they mean well, but I just don’t feel like I can relate to any of them.”

“Not one? What about Agent Romanoff? You didn’t mention her at all.”

“Agent Romanoff is an enigma. Of all of them, she’s the one I have had the least amount of interaction with since we met. The most time we spent together was during the heat of the battle.”

“And what was your impression of her?”

“She’s fiercely loyal, an incredible fighter, and she’s not afraid to do what’s necessary to protect lives. But aside from Agent Barton, she doesn’t seem to open up to anyone, it’s almost as if she’s closed off, doesn’t trust people.”

“Well, considering the nature of the work you do, not giving away your trust easily seems to be a good way to stay alive. Did you trust the rest of them when the team was formed?”

“I trusted them to do the job. But it’s not like the Commandos and I, we forged a level of trust that was unbreakable. We had…,”

“You and the Howling Commandos had countless missions together. But I bet you all had to earn each-other’s trust and that took time.”

“Not as much as you’d think though. It all started when I rescued them from the HYDRA base. So I earned their respect first, the trust came with it.”

“Looks like our time is up Captain, I must say you were very open with me. So, how about you come back in a month? I’d like to see how you’ve progressed since this first session.”

“Is it necessary?”

“No, it’s completely up to you. No one is going to force you to do anything you don’t want to. I’m just asking you to think about it.”

“I’ll think about it.”

As Steve leaves, Dr. Kafka’s phone starts ringing. She’s not expecting any more patients for the day, so she gave her secretary the afternoon off. The voice on the other end of the line is one she didn’t expect to hear.

“Dr. Kafka, I’m guessing Captain Rogers came to see you after all.”

“This is a serious breach of protocol, Director Fury. You know I’m unable to discuss what goes on in my office with anyone due to doctor-patient confidentiality.”

“You can drop all attempts at pretense; Doctor. I had Captain Rogers followed. What did he say to you?”

“What Captain Rogers and I discussed is none of your concern. If you want to know, I suggest you ask him yourself.”

Dr. Kafka hangs up the phone, cutting Fury off before he can interrogate her any further. Outside her office, Steve has just reached the street and after a short walk ducks around a corner to avoid the person he knew was following him.

“Sir, I think I lost him. Captain Rogers has…,”

A strong hand grabs the man by the collar before he can finish his sentence. The strength of the hand pulling him back is intense, and before he can fight back, he’s thrown into the wall behind him.

“I’ll take that if you don’t mind.”

Steve rips the radio out of his pursuers’ hand and smashes it against the wall. Only then, with one arm pressed up against the other man’s throat, does he begin his line of questioning.

“Who are you? Why are you following me? Who do you work for?”

“I-I’ll tell you if you’ll let me breathe,” the man coughs out through his restricted airways. 

Steve lowers his arm from the throat, but still keeps his opponent locked against the wall with his forearm against his chest.

“My name is Brock Rumlow. I’m an Agent of SHIELD, assigned to the STRIKE team.”

“So you work for Fury. I should have known he’d want to check up on me. See if I went to see the Doctor he suggested. Was she in on it?”

“No, she wasn’t. Fury’s main concern is you.”

“Well you can go back and tell Fury that I don’t need his concern. Or his help. I know you were just following orders, so I’m going to let you walk away. But if I catch you following me again, I won’t be so nice the next time.”

Brock and Steve go their separate ways, but this won’t be the last time the two of them see each other.


	2. The Spy

After he was unceremoniously hung up on, Nick Fury was angry. It wasn’t just that Dr. Kafka hung up on him either, he was in contact with Rumlow and tried in vain for a few moments to reach the Agent, unaware that Steve had destroyed the radio. His anger was threatening to boil over, even after Rumlow entered his office an hour later.

“I expected you back much sooner than this Agent. I hope you have a good explanation as to why you didn’t respond to my frequent attempts to contact you.”

“Rogers caught me. There was nothing I could do and he destroyed the radio.”

“Did he say anything?”

“Yeah, he told me to tell you that he doesn’t need your concern or your help. That was before he let me walk away, and threatened to: ‘not be so nice the next time if he caught me following him again,’ with all due respect Sir, we should probably let this one go.”

“That’s it? That’s all you got from him? You’re the leader of the STRIKE team; you’re supposed to be one of the best.”

“I am, but against Captain Rogers? No one can stand against him in a one on one, and he caught me by surprise Sir.”

“Fine, you can go back to your regular assignments. You’re dismissed.”

Brock opens the door before Natasha can knock. She doesn’t even give him the chance to exit before she pushes her way past him. The two Agents only glare at each other with a terse greeting.

“Romanoff.”

“Rumlow.”

As the door to Fury’s office closes, she looks towards her boss with the same glare she just gave the other Agent.

“If you’ve come to talk about the assignment I gave to Barton, you’re wasting your time Romanoff.”

“It’s a shit assignment Nick, even if it could be called an assignment. Clint needs to be out in the field, not stuck behind a desk. You saw how well he performed in the battle of New York.”

“It wasn’t my decision to bench him, Natasha. The Council felt that Barton needed some time away from field missions so he could get his head back on straight.”

“Then let him go home. If he’s going to be forced into time off, let him spend some time with his family. Laura needs him right now.”

“I wish it was that easy. The Council also insisted that he be placed under full psychological evaluation. The fact is that no one knows for sure what lingering effects the scepter had on him.”

Natasha sighs, knowing she’s fighting a losing battle. When the World Security Council makes up their collective minds, only an act of God would get them to renege. 

“So what’s going to happen to me? Am I just supposed to twiddle my thumbs until they decide he’s ready?”

“Of course not. I’ve got a mission for you as well. You handled Justin Hammer extremely well, and Stark has another threat looming on the horizon.”

“I’m not going back into Stark Industries. You know he still doesn’t trust me.”

“This doesn’t require you going back into Stark. Here, this is all the info you need on your next target.”

Natasha takes the offered packet and opens it up. After quickly perusing the mission parameters, she flips to the photo of her target; his name is scrawled at the bottom in sloppy handwriting.

“Ezekiel Stane? Stark certainly knows how to make enemies. But this one, let me guess, Obadiah Stane’s son.”

“Yeah, after four years he’s decided that now is the time for him to attack Stark Industries.”

“So, Stark’s a big boy, he can handle this. Why am I needed?”

“Because the son is worse than the father in this case. Intel suggests that’s he’s not just out to kill Stark, he’s being backed by a bigger player.”

“And I’m going in to find out who this bigger player is. Piece of Cake.”

“Good, and don’t worry Natasha. I’m going to try and push for Clint to be back in the field sooner than the Council wants.”

Natasha turns to leave and allows for a small smile. She realizes Fury is just as upset at the Council’s decision as she is. With luck, they’ll be back together in less than a week. However, her mission turned out to not be as easy as she originally thought. It took over a week for her to get the right connections in place to allow for a job inside Stane International. Apparently Stane was so paranoid that Tony Stark was out to get him that each prospective applicant had to undergo three lie detector tests just to get an interview. Naturally she passed all three easily, and was finally accepted as Stane’s personal secretary. Her first Monday on the job, the head of Stane’s tech division dropped off a file Natasha kindly offered to deliver.

“Excuse me Sir, but I have that file from Dr. Octavius that you were requesting.”

“Thank you, Ms. Connors. Just leave it on my desk.”

“Of course, also you have a call on line two. She sounded quite impatient.”

Stane turns towards his windows, he was expecting this call. But he doesn’t know why his benefactor would be impatient, the mission is proceeding ahead of schedule. With his back to her, he doesn’t notice Natasha placing a bug inside the stapler next to his phone. As she slips back outside the door, she places a small headset inside her ear, and once back at her desk, clicks it on, hearing everything being discussed.

“You have failed to make your report in the allotted time, Mr. Stane. I am most displeased with your delay.”

“There is no reason for you to be displeased. The weapons you requested are in the final stage of development. As such we are well ahead of schedule. Both your enemy and mine will soon face our vengeance for the deaths of our fathers.”

“Your assurances are weak, Mr. Stane. My desires go far beyond vengeance for my father. I want better results. I expect the weapons to be in my hands in three days’ time. If you fail, I know Tony Stark would be very interested in your whereabouts and your plans for him.”

“You wouldn’t dare. Know that if you threaten me like this again, you will never get your weapons Ms. Schmidt. Because just as you could alert Stark to my plans, I too can have Captain America alerted to yours, as well as your very existence. I’m sure he’d be quite interested to know that the Red Skull had a daughter.”

The line goes silent for a moment. Stane knows he has her at a disadvantage. For some reason she hasn’t yet revealed, she doesn’t want anyone to know Red Skull had a daughter, who inherited the serum that he was treated with.

“Very well, Mr. Stane. You have one week to complete my weapons. Then your enemy, mine and the world will fall before the Sisters of Sin.”

“A week is more than enough time for me to finish and deliver them to your base in Germany. It’s been a pleasure speaking with you.”

When the line disconnects, Stane gives himself a celebratory pat on the back for securing such a benefactor, and for his own sarcastic closing greeting to her. After signing off on the files he pages for Natasha.

“Ms. Connors, I have looked over the files and given my approval for final testing to Dr. Octavius. Would you please see that he gets these on your way out?”

“Of course Sir, is there anything else I can do for you today?”

“No thank you, enjoy the rest of your evening and I’ll see you in the morning.”

Natasha excuses herself and after grabbing her purse makes her way out of her office towards the labs. She was able to get her own quick glance through the files, but they were nothing more than plans for a set of robotic arms. After dropping them off, she makes her way out of the building to head straight for SHIELD’s temporary New York base. When she arrives an hour later, she’s greeted by a familiar, but very unhappy face.

“Hey Nat.”

“Clint, you didn’t have to come all this way to greet me. I thought Fury had you back at the Triskelion for your ‘assignment’.”

“He did, but he called me here to discuss my return to the field.”

“Well that’s great, when is our next mission?”

“You better go talk to him. I’m still effectively on desk duty.”

Natasha is furious as she storms down the hallway towards Nick’s office. When she gets there, she bursts through the door, without bothering to knock or be given permission to enter.

“What the Hell, Nick?! You assured me that…,”

Natasha pauses as Steve turns around to face her, shocked at her sudden outburst. Fury had briefed him on Agent Barton’s condition, just before offering him the chance to join SHIELD.

“Agent Romanoff, I’m in the middle of something here. I take it that the reason you’re back is that you’ve discovered what Stane is up to, and who he’s working for. If you’ll have a seat, I’ll be with you in a moment.”

Natasha sits down, but inside she is still fuming. She is barely listening as her boss goes over what Steve will be doing for SHIELD. She even hears the severity of Steve’s tone as he delivers his own conditions to the Director.

“Look Fury, the only reason I’m joining SHIELD is to protect people. It’s better for me to have a directive, and it’s better for the people of the world to know that Captain America is looking out for them. But this having people follow me; that stops now. I don’t need any of your Agents reporting back to you on what breakfast cereal I’m buying. Am I clear?”

“We’re clear on that. Now Agent Romanoff, I’d like to hear your report.”

“Of course, but shouldn’t Captain Rogers be allowed to leave first?”

“No, he needs to hear your report too.”

Admittedly she’s curious as to why Steve was being allowed to stay, but she brushes it off so she can deliver her report and then find out why Clint is still restricted from duty.

“So, Ezekiel Stane is after Tony. At this moment he is developing weapons for someone by the name of Schmidt. She is clearly a major threat as will be her group the Sisters of Sin if they are allowed to have these weapons. More importantly Ms. Schmidt is the daughter of the Red Skull. In one week’s time the weapons will be delivered to Germany.”

Steve visibly pales at the mention of Red Skull. Even after seventy years his enemy is still haunting him. But he also now knows what his next mission is going to be.

“Good work Agent Romanoff. Were you able to secure any of the flight information?”

“Stane neglected to mention that to Ms. Schmidt. I’ll need to go back in one more time to get that information.”

“I have no doubts you’ll get that information. When you do, you’ll be going in to stop this delivery.”

“And will be Agent Barton be joining me? As a team he and I could…,”

“I was not able to convince the Council to reinstate Agent Barton. But I have found you a partner to assist you.”

“Please tell me it’s not Rumlow. His attitude could jeopardize the mission.”

“No, but the STRIKE team will be sent in as well to provide cover if you should need it.”

“Then who is going to be my partner?”

“Captain Rogers is going with you. This is the best test for his first mission as a SHIELD agent.”

Natasha hides her emotions behind a mask of impassiveness. If she was going with Clint, they’d have this wrapped up in one day. She doesn’t have anything against Steve, his level head did keep the battle against the Chitauri under control. But this is totally different. In this mission stealth is key, and his Captain America uniform is a dead give-away.

“I know what you’re thinking Romanoff, but Captain Rogers is the best person for this mission. He has knowledge of Germany that will be invaluable. You two have your mission, I know you’ll be able to get this done. Dismissed.”

Natasha and Steve both stand up and leave the office. She doesn’t even spare a backward glance as she dashes away from him. 

“Natasha! Will you wait a minute?”

“Wait for what Rogers? We have a mission, and I have to be up early to secure the rest of the Intel from Stane. If you’ve got something to say, say it quickly.”

“Look, you’re upset, I get that. You’re going into your first mission without Clint, and a green agent by your side. I understand…,”

“You don’t understand anything Captain. You’re a soldier, not a spy. You have no idea what you’re getting into. So when we get to Germany, do me a favor and stay out of my way. I can’t be baby-sitting you and still doing my job.”

Natasha turns on her heel and walks away from Steve, still visibly angry by the way her shoulders are squared. He doesn’t follow because he doesn’t want to risk angering her further. Instead he turns the other way for the walk back to his motorcycle. 

Later that night, as Natasha arrives back at her temporary apartment, she has trouble falling asleep. After two hours of tossing and turning she gets up and reviews the files she has on Stane. But she can’t even focus on those, replaying how harsh she was to Steve earlier.

“So Stane grew up mostly without his father around, when he came of age he had hoped to secure a job at Stark Industries…, why did Nick have to partner me up with Rogers. He’s no better at this type of mission than Rumlow. The only difference is in his attitude. You were way too harsh with Steve, Romanoff. It wasn’t his choice be partnered up with me. I just have to get through this mission, then maybe I’ll get to choose my own partner if Clint is still left on desk duty. Or I can always go back to solo missions.”

The next day, Stane spent most of it out of his office. Natasha passed the time pretending to file reports and setting up meetings. The day was nearly over when he finally returned. 

“Ms. Connors, I need you to do me a favor and cancel all my meetings for next week. I’ll be going out of the country, on a business trip to Germany. Now, I’ve got a phone call to make, but could you also call my personal pilot and give him this information on the flight?”

“Of course, Mr. Stane.”

“Oh by the way, I was wondering if you were free for dinner tonight.”

“Mr. Stane, are you asking me out on a date?”

“No, I just wanted to take you out for a congratulatory dinner, not many have been able to make it through Stane International’s extensive pre-screening employment process.”

“How many times has someone made it through? And do you offer to take all your new employees out to dinner?”

“Actually this would be a first for both instances.”

“I’m very flattered Sir, but I’m afraid I’m going to have to decline. My boyfriend just got back into town from visiting his sick mother, and I wanted to see how she’s doing, and we already have plans tonight.”

“Some other time then.”

As Stane enters his office, Natasha has to hold back a gag. She’s dealt with a lot of scumbags in her line of work, but this one puts them all to shame.


	3. The Mission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Nat's first mission as partners. There's still a little tension between the two of them.

Three days passed by while Steve and Natasha prepped themselves for the assignment. Steve spent most of his time at SHIELD headquarters familiarizing himself with the procedures that would be required of him, as well as meeting with the STRIKE team. But Natasha avoided him as much as possible.

“So this is STRIKE? They seem to be a little rough around the edges, Sitwell.”

“True, but one could say the same thing about your Howling Commandos back in the day.”

“The Commandos were rough men, but that’s the way the war made us. I gotta be honest; I don’t see much unity between these men.”

“SHIELD is different Captain. We don’t have the luxury of seeing everything in black and white. In your day…,”

“Please, not another in my day reference, I lived through what we did, and there were things done that made us not sleep so well.”

“See that’s the point Captain. It’s why Fury wanted you to bring STRIKE along for this mission. He feels that you can give them something they’ve been lacking. Partnerships inside SHIELD are fleeting. Most of us trust one another when we’re on site, in the middle of battle. After the mission, well…,”

“I get it, there’s not a sense of brotherhood like in my day. For us, it was we all go home, or we all stay and fight. This every man for himself thing is something I’ll have to get used to.”

“No you won’t, Agent Coulson’s death gave the Avengers a reason to fight, but it was you who turned them into a team. You wouldn’t have been given this mission if it wasn’t known you could do the same thing with STRIKE.”

“Well, guess it’s time I should meet them.”

Steve and Sitwell descend in the elevator towards the assembled team in the training room. Steve recognizes the first face he sees, but the others are all new to him.

“Captain.”

“Rumlow.”

“Listen, I just wanted to say I’m…,”

“No need. You were following orders. We’re going to have to put all of that aside. You’ve been briefed on the mission?”

“Yes, and I have to say it’s going to be an honor to fight side by side with you. So, let me introduce you to rest of the team.”

Brock goes through the roster. Steve greets every one of them politely, and most of them seem to be in awe. He’s used to being admired, but the way these men all look at him makes him a little uncomfortable. 

“And finally Cap, this is Jack Rollins. He’s been my second in command for several months.”

While Steve is conversing with Rumlow and Rollins, Sitwell is getting a call from the R&D team, alerting him that their special project is complete.

“Excuse me, Cap. I just got an alert that your new uniform is ready. They’re just waiting for you to approve it, and you’re set to leave in the next two days.”

When Steve and Sitwell are out of earshot, Rollins and Rumlow begin a private conversation.

“You think he has any idea what the real mission is?”

“No, and we need to keep it that way. There will be a time when our true allegiance is revealed, but for now, we play it Fury’s way. We let him and Rogers think what they want.”

In the R&D labs, Steve is looking over his uniform. The blue is darker and there’s a silver star in the middle of the chest. There are only small hints of red and even that’s darker than the red in the uniform Coulson had made for him.

“This is good work, but I have one request. Lose the cowl, it made it harder for me to move my neck, and it was hindrance with the Chitauri. I need a helmet that can be easily removed. If you need a point of reference, look at the files on my uniform from the war.”

“Okay, Captain. We’ll make the modifications, should be ready for you tomorrow.”

With nothing else to do at headquarters, Steve left for the old boxing gym he frequents. He spent the rest of the day working out on the heavy bags, trying not to think about the mission. Two days later, he’s suited up in his new uniform, and on the Quinjet going over the mission parameters one more time when STRIKE arrives followed by Natasha. She takes notice of the new uniform while he’s focused on the computer read-outs.

“Captain.”

“Romanoff. We all set?”

“The team is on board; the gear is all in lockdown. We’re good for takeoff.”

“Then let’s get moving. We know the weapons Stane has developed will be headed for Berlin later this afternoon.”

Natasha realizes he’s being cold and detached with her, she knows it’s her fault after the way she talked to him, and maybe this is her chance to make amends.

“Rog-Steve. Look, I should apologize for the way I spoke to you. It’s not your fault that Clint is…, and I know you didn’t ask too…”

“Forget about it Romanoff. Let’s just focus on the mission. When we get back, I’ll tell Fury that you don’t want to be partnered up with me again.”

“But…,”

“End of discussion. Pilot, we’re ready to go.”

“Roger that, Cap. Buckle up ladies and gentlemen.”

Steve takes a seat as far away from his partner as possible. He kind of feels like he’s being petty, but her words from three days ago stung. Even when she attempts to engage him in conversation, she only receives non-committal shrugs or grunts of acknowledgement.

Since trying to get him to talk to her is a futile enterprise, Natasha spends the flight deep in thought.

“I knew this was a bad idea. I made an effort to apologize, but he blew me off. I thought men from his time were different than the men today. If he’s not going to work with me, then I’ll do it my way. I’d be better off on my own after all.”

In her heart, Natasha knows she’s lying to herself. She’s still blaming Steve for everything that’s happened, and in the back of her mind a small voice is nagging at her, trying to get her to realize that the two of them are more alike than she’s willing to admit. Two hours later, the pilot comes on the intercom, alerting them to their arrival.

“We’re over the drop zone, get ready for departure.”

The hatch opens and as the rest of the team is retrieving their gear and strapping into their parachutes, no one notices when Steve makes the jump, without the chute provided for him.

“All right, I’m on the ground. So far no signs of enemy forces…, wait got my first glimpse of hostiles. Got four posted on the roof, two at the front entrance. We have inbound, looks like a freight truck. Could be Stane’s delivery.”

“Roger that, Cap. STRIKE is on the way.”

Before STRIKE could make their own jump, Natasha was already out of the rear hatch, landing quietly next to Steve. 

“So what’s the plan, Cap?”

“I’m going for the truck, you cover me. There could be hostiles in the woods around the base.”

Steve takes off running and Natasha follows right behind him. As he deftly makes the leap inside, the guards all turn and see him after they heard the thump of his boots. Natasha makes the same leap, but catches the side of the truck getting a foothold near the canvas covering. When she hears Steve begin the fight inside, she cuts through the thin cloth, and starts her own fight with the guards. Quickly they dispatch their enemies, but Steve isn’t too happy to see her kick the last one out of the back.

“You were supposed to hang back and provide cover…,”

“And let you have all the fun? We’re partners right now Rogers, we have to watch…,”

Steve quickly places a hand over her mouth, silencing her. Natasha attempts to pull his hand away, but stops when she hears the gates opening.

“They’re taking us in. Rumlow, get your team in position. We’re gonna need suppressive fire.”

“Copy that, Cap. Give us the signal.”

When the truck finally rolls to a stop, a door opens and the partners in the back hear the crunch of footsteps across the gravel. Shortly there-after a female voice speaks to the driver.

“This is my delivery from Mr. Stane?”

“Yes Ma’am. He met his deadline as promised. You’ll find that these weapons should exceed your expectations. They are all powered by a fusion reactor which in it’s make up is similar to the Arc Reactor developed by Tony Stark.”

“Excellent, my men will off-load the weapons. Come, we should finalize the payment I promised to Mr. Stane.”

The voices fade as footsteps sound around the truck. There appear to be two guards approaching the rear of the vehicle. When they open the flaps to retrieve the crate, a shield flies out of the back taking them both out in tandem, the guards on the roof react instantly, turning to see the men go down. Before they can open fire, the STRIKE team is firing down at them with silencers, each enemy eliminated efficiently.

“All right Cap, we’ll cover you and Romanoff. Better get in there.”

“Keep the perimeter secure. And get those weapons on the jet. Fury will want to know what Stane was doing. No doubt Stark will as well.”

“Roger that, STRIKE, you heard the Captain. Let’s get a move on.”

“You know this was too easy right?”

“I’d be surprised if it wasn’t, Romanoff. Somehow I think we’re going to be facing something worse when we get inside.”

“Then let’s not keep them waiting shall we?”

Cap and Black Widow make their way across the courtyard covered by the STRIKE team. Thankfully there are no other guards waiting to ambush them as Natasha gets to work hacking the security panel. It only takes her a few moments to break in, and when the doors open they find themselves staring at an empty corridor.

“This has trap written all over it.”

“Welcome to the life of a SHIELD agent Captain. Come on, let’s keep moving.”

As they make their way down the corridor, checking rooms as they go, Natasha can’t help but notice how Steve’s whole demeanor towards her has changed since the flight. Where he was cold and dismissive before, at least now he’s talking with her. What she realizes is that he’s completely focused on the mission. As such he’s not going to let their fight at HQ get in the way of getting the job done. But still, she has to know one thing.

“Steve, were you really serious about asking Fury not to partner us together again? Or were you just saying that because of the way I got angry at Clint’s situation?”

“Not the time for this Romanoff. We can discuss this after the mission.”

And suddenly the cold dismissive nature is back full-force. She thought he was opening up a little bit, but his trust is something she still has to earn.

“Up ahead, looks like Schmidt’s office. Let’s go.”

“Aye-aye Cap.”

Upon reaching the door, Natasha sees a more advanced security panel. When she starts attempting the over-ride alarms start to sound, and a loud thumping comes from behind the door. Steve has to pull her back to protect her from the explosive force that shatters the oak sending shards of it flying. When he lowers his shield, standing in front of them is a man roughly six foot six in height and a look in his eyes that could only be described as insanity.

“Greetings Captain America. You didn’t need to come so far to seek out death. We would have found you soon enough.”

“You must be Schmidt. I see that your father didn’t teach you manners.”

“I never got to know my Father. I grew up with only a photo of him from before the serum turned him into the Red Skull. But I learned as I grew, that the same serum he was enhanced with also enhanced me. And as you can see, you’re not the only relic of a by-gone era. Allow me to introduce Master Man.”

“That’s it? Master Man? What’s he supposed to be?”

“He is your better in every way. A secret project my father and Dr. Zola started before you interrupted their work. I think you’ll find that his serum is far superior to yours.”

Schmidt pauses as Master Man moves forward and stalks around Steve like a predator. The first attack comes faster than the soldier can anticipate. A furious punch throws him across the room before Steve can even get his shield up.

“Is that all he’s got? I’ve been hit by the Hulk; that was nothing. But let’s talk about you. You look awfully young for someone who didn’t have the benefit of being frozen in ice for seventy years.”

“Like you did. I’ve run extensive tests on my blood and the serum coursing through it, and the results of those tests were all the same…,”

Natasha doesn’t let her adversary finish speaking as she moves in for the attack. A flurry of punches and kicks only serve to briefly distract Schmidt, and she catches Natasha’s wrist and throws her back against the wall.

“You’ll wait your turn Black Widow, I wasn’t finished talking to Captain America.”

“Yeah, well you talk too much.”

Natasha goes right back in to the fight, determined to keep Schmidt off balance. Recognizing this as a chance for him to launch his own attack, Steve throws his shield, and Master Man does exactly what he expected when the shield is caught and tossed aside.

“You’ll have to do better than that Captain America. Get close enough and I’ll break you like a toothpick.”

When their fight begins Steve knows he’s at a slight disadvantage for strength, but for all that power, Master Man is slower on the attack. It’s his speed that enables the soldier to catch his opponent off guard with a low sweep to the legs. The fall and a quick punch to face dazes the larger man long enough for Steve to see that Natasha is on the defensive being pushed back in her own fight. He doesn’t even think about it and rushes across the room to her aid. He catches Schmidt’s arm before she can throw her next punch, and flips her over his shoulder. When he has her restrained, Natasha hits her with a knee to the face, knocking her unconscious.

“You didn’t have to do that Rogers. I had that under control.”

“Sure you did, if being backed into a corner by an opponent who has a derivative of the serum I was treated with can be classified as being in control.”

“This isn’t my first fight like this…,”

A loud growl startles the soldier and the spy, and they turn around just in time to see Master Man running through the wall, leaving a hole the size of his body in it.

“And now your opponent has gotten away! You should have been more worried about keeping him down than playing the White Knight!”

“So you’re saying I should have let Skull’s daughter kill you? Forget about it. No mission is more important than the life of my partner!”

Before Natasha can respond, the sound of gunfire erupts outside the base. Shelving all further arguments, she and Steve run outside dragging the unconscious prisoner. The sight that greets them when they get there is grisly. The German super-soldier barreled right through most of the STRIKE team before taking a bullet to the heart.

“What the hell was this guy Cap? He ran right through us.”

“He’s me if I had been born in Germany, Rumlow. Who made the shot?”

“I did. He was coming right for me and I just fired without thinking about it.”

“Are Stane’s weapons on board?”

“Loaded up and locked down. We’re ready to move out.”

“Load the Master Man up as well. I want SHIELD’s medical team to examine him. Maybe we can find out if there are any more like him.”

“Copy that, your heard the Captain. Let’s move out!”

The flight back is spent in complete silence. Natasha sat up front in the cockpit, as far away from Steve as possible. Better to not continue their fight until they were away from STRIKE and being debriefed by Fury.


	4. Next Session

The debrief with Fury was exactly what Steve and Natasha expected it to be. He was pleased they recovered the weapons, but knew that Stane could still develop more. His next reactions were shock that not only did Sinthea Schmidt inherit the serum from her father’s bloodline, but to learn that a successful recreation of Erskine’s serum was developed and used to create a Nazi version of Captain America, he could only hope that it was a one shot deal and nothing else this big would be coming down the pipeline to affect SHIELD.

“Based on your recommendation Captain, I will have my top scientists get to work on testing the Master Man immediately. I’ve also had your report on Stane’s weapons delivered to Stark. Is there anything else I should know about the mission?”

“Yes Sir, after departing the Quinjet, Agent Romanoff asked me what the plan was for us to get inside the compound. I gave her a direct order to provide cover fire for me as I went for the truck which I believed was carrying Stane’s weapons.”

“And…?”

“Agent Romanoff proceeded to follow me to the truck, and ignored my orders.”

“That’s it? It seems to me that Agent Romanoff provided valuable assistance to you in that situation Captain.”

“Be that as it may, I’m used to giving an order and it being followed.”

“Romanoff, do you have anything to add?”

“Yes, what Captain Rogers fails to realize is that if I hadn’t followed him, he might have come home in a body bag.”

“I can take care of myself…,”

“Rogers, you’ll get your turn. Right now I’m more interested in Agent Romanoff’s appraisal of the situation you faced.”

“Now, everything seemed to change when we entered Schmidt’s compound. Captain Rogers understood that we needed to work together as a team to complete the mission. He had his opponent, and I had mine. But after disabling his opponent, he decided to play the knight in shining armor and come to my rescue. Of course this allowed the Master Man to escape, and if not for the STRIKE team being there, he may have succeeded.”

“That seems to have been a serious lapse in judgment on your part Captain. The mission should always come first.”

“Not when lives are on the line, Fury. I’ll tell you the same thing I told Agent Romanoff. If any member of my team or an innocent civilian is in danger, I will always put their life before the mission. Now if that’s a problem for you, maybe I should go ahead and hand in my resignation.”

“No, SHIELD needs you, Captain.”

“Then you should partner me with someone else. It seems fairly clear that neither Agent Romanoff nor I can continue being partners.”

“Request denied. I made the two of you partners because you have complementary strengths, which more than make up for your weaknesses. Romanoff, you need to learn to trust someone other than yourself. Rogers, you need someone who can help guide you through the muddy waters of today and the threats we face. Things are not as black and white as they were in your day.”

Steve rolls his eyes at the in your day reference coming from Fury. His action doesn’t go unnoticed by Natasha who has to stifle a laugh, one thing she’s learned about Steve is that he hates being treated like he can’t adapt to the 21st century.

“Now, if there’s nothing else to report, I have another mission for the both of you. You won’t be going behind enemy lines, or retrieving classified Intel in this mission.”

“Then what is our mission; Nick?”

“Therapy, Romanoff.”

“You’ve got to be kidding.”

The look on Fury’s face was completely serious. It didn’t come as a shock when he revealed that he knew Steve went to see Dr. Kafka. Steve and Natasha were both against it, but also knew that the Director of SHIELD wasn’t giving them a choice in the matter. So they found themselves in her office together on the Tuesday one month after Steve’s initial appointment.

“Captain Rogers, I’m glad you came back. Who have you brought with you today?”

“My partner, Agent Natasha Romanoff.”

“I see, this is very unorthodox Captain. I don’t usually do joint sessions.”

“I told him this was a bad idea. We could have just worked this out on the training levels. At least there we wouldn’t have to discuss what’s bothering us, we could just work off our frustrations by…,”

“Beating each other up, Agent Romanoff? That’s not a way to solve this problem. You don’t like psychiatrists, do you?”

“No offense, but I’ve had my head screwed with enough over the years. I don’t see how this is going to be any different. And if we’re going to do this, call me Natasha.”

“I understand, and you don’t have any reason to trust me. But as Captain Rogers can attest, everything said here will remain in the strictest confidence, and no one will ever know what you tell me.”

“You know we can’t reveal classified information to you.”

“I accept that, so tell me how it feels to be partners.”

“It’s infuriating. Steve’s just so good, and noble, I kind of think he refuses to accept that the world has changed. He’s stuck in this white knight persona that he can’t let go of.”

“Natasha…,”

“Steve let her finish.”

“I’ve never needed anyone to protect me, and he jeopardized our mission to do so.”

“So it bothered you that he protected your life, instead of completing the mission?”

“Yes, distractions can get you killed in our line of work. The mission has to come first.”

“Okay, so Steve, you’ve heard what Natasha has to say. Why don’t you tell her how you feel.”

“It bothers me that everyone sees me as this ‘White Knight’ as Natasha put it. The truth is far from that. Yes, I grew up during the Great Depression and times were different then. And I get that the world changed while I was under. But what everyone fails to realize is that I never really wanted to be the hero. I just wanted to serve my country, like my Dad. I thought I had finally gotten my chance when Dr. Erskine chose me to be the test subject for his Super-Soldier Serum. After he died, I became a gimmick, a dancing monkey.”

“Go on.”

“Then I was in Italy for a show. It’s where I was first reunited with Agent Carter. She told me that the members of my audience were what remained of the 107th. I didn’t even think about it when Colonel Phillips told me he remembered the name of my friend. I just made the choice to go and rescue those soldiers. After that, the hero role was kind of pushed on me.”

“I have to stop you for a minute Steve, you’ve kind of gotten off track. Let’s get back to how you’re not the White Knight.”

“Okay, so everyone has a past. In the Big One I knew what I had to do. I knew what my orders were, but it was the bloodiest conflict in history. There were times we compromised, and those compromises didn’t let us sleep so well at night. I’m still haunted by not being able to save Bucky, and I don’t even know how many men we had to kill who were also just following orders. HYDRA notwithstanding, some of those regular soldiers had lives, families. I think about them too.”

While Steve was talking, his eyes took on a somewhat glassy appearance as if he was seeing all of this is his mind’s eye. For a moment he really was back in the war, forgetting that both Natasha and Dr. Kafka were in the room with him. 

“I know that Agent Romanoff can take care of herself. I watched her do so during the Battle of New York. But Red Skull always had a way of attacking the people that meant the most to me. I guess I’m just not willing to let another person get hurt because of someone from his bloodline.”

When Steve came back out of his recollections Natasha was silent, she knew how her own demons affected her, but she had no idea about Steve’s. It’s only been a few months since New York, and she never really had the time. Now that they’re going to remain partners, she realizes she needs to make an effort to understand him. Dr. Kafka was more invested, nodding along and making notes. When she speaks, Natasha is startled briefly at the question directed towards her.

“Natasha, is there anything you’d like to say, or ask of Steve?” 

“Oh, no I…,”

“Natasha, I should apologize to you. I know this can’t be easy for you. You’ve been thrown into a situation you didn’t expect. I could have handled it better when you tried to apologize on the way to our destination.”

“Yes, you could have.”

“Natasha, that was a little…,”

“It’s all right Doctor, she’s right, I deserved that. I was stand-offish with her on the way in.”

“Well then, I didn’t expect this kind of progress for your second session Steve, and especially this being your first visit with me Natasha. But I’m glad we were able to break down a few walls. Natasha, if you ever need someone to talk to, my door is open to you.”

“So this session is over? We’re free to go?”

“Of course, you’re free to go Agent Romanoff. Steve; I’d like you to stick around for a little bit longer.”

Natasha leaves, wondering why Dr. Kafka wanted Steve to stay behind. It’s really none of her business, and it’s possible that the Doctor just wanted to set up the next appointment, but there’s a tiny inkling of doubt in her mind that she won't be the topic of discussion.

“So Steve, you’re probably wondering why I asked you to remain after releasing Natasha.”

“Of course I am. But I’d rather not discuss my partner without her in the room.”

“Understandable, and I wasn’t going to inquire further on Agent Romanoff. I wanted to know about Agent Carter.”

“Doctor, I still haven’t been to see her…”

“That’s fine. I wanted to know what your relationship was like, it might be able to give me some insight into how you related to her, and how you could use that to better relate to not only Agent Romanoff, but in your everyday interactions with the Avengers and other SHIELD agents.”

“When I first met Peggy, I was still just Steve Rogers. I had tried four times to enlist; the fifth time was when Dr. Erskine recruited me. When I got to Camp Lehigh, I learned I wasn’t the only one in line for the serum. My first impression of Peggy was not what I or any of us expected, I guess.”

“Tell me about it.”

“One of the soldiers decided he was going to hit on her. She punched him in the face. She was tough; she was definitely not a dame.”

“A dame?”

“Sorry, forties slang. I still use it sometimes. Anyway, we worked together for almost three years, she was the only one who believed I was meant for more than what I was being used for. I only realized she had been developing feelings for me after I was kissed by Private Lorraine.”

“What happened?”

“Howard Stark was showing me prototypes for a new shield. To make a long story short, the one I chose, well she shot at me. That’s kind of when I knew she was…,”

“Developing an interest in you, as more than Captain America.”

“Yeah, but I guess we really didn’t have a relationship outside of the war. We were fighting, there was really no time. And then our story ended before it even began. Our first kiss was also our last; I put the lives of others before my own.”

“That’s when you crashed the Valkyrie into the Arctic.”

“So how can this help me with my interactions with SHIELD and The Avengers?”

“Well, you need to get to know them on a more personal level. You don’t have to know their entire life stories, but you can’t continue to close yourself off.”

“Close myself off? You mean like I said Natasha does?”

“Exactly, you keep to yourself outside of the missions, because you’re afraid of losing everything again. And I thought you didn’t want to talk about Natasha?”

Steve knew he’d been busted. He brought Natasha up, albeit in a question, but he can’t help the fact that he does think about her. When he’s honest with himself she reminds him of…

“Peggy.”

“Yes, we’ve been discussing Agent Carter.”

“No, that’s not what I meant. Natasha, she reminds me of Peggy. They’re both extremely independent, strong-willed, and completely stubborn.”

“Okay, now we’re getting somewhere. So here’s what I want you to do Steve. Go see Agent Carter, talk to her. Then spend some time with Natasha. Coffee, something. After which I want you to write down a list of the qualities both of them share, as well as what makes them different. Once you do that, I think you’ll have a better understanding of how you can relate to Natasha so your partnership can succeed, without more blow-ups at each other. Then when you come back in two months, we’ll discuss your progress.”

“Two months? I don’t know if that will be possible. I could be sent on a mission and not return in two months.”

“Then you’ll call me when you do get back. But our time is up for today and I have another patient coming. Have a good day, Captain.”

Steve leaves the office, more confused than before. Chastising himself for not only bringing Natasha up, but comparing her to Peggy, he doesn’t understand how he came to that conclusion. Being so lost in thought he doesn’t even notice when Natasha walks up to him.

“Hey Rogers, you break down any more walls after I left?”

“What are you still doing here Natasha? I would have thought you went straight back to HQ.”

“Nope, Nick said he wasn’t giving us any more missions for a while, so I waited.”

“You didn’t have to, but if you’re free this afternoon…,”

“You know you should really ask Dr. Kafka out. I bet you still haven’t had a date yet in this century.”

Natasha gets a smug satisfied smirk on her face when Steve turns beet red. Not only has he not had a date, he wouldn’t realize that this would be the first time she would suggest he ask someone out. 

“That would be a conflict of interests, Agent Romanoff. Listen, I need to go see someone. I’ll catch you later at HQ or the tower.”

As Steve walks away, Natasha thinks she’s going to have to work harder to bring Steve out of his shell. He had started calling her Natasha, but reverted back to Agent Romanoff in the blink of an eye. However, she’s more determined now and intends to succeed. 

“Okay Rogers, you want to play this the hard way, I’m game. Let’s see just how long you can hide behind your walls. I’m a master at this, I’m going to break through and you won’t even see it coming.”


	5. Peggy

Despite the fact that Steve really wanted to see Peggy, he was still extremely hesitant. He knew that she had moved back to New York from the file that Fury gave him. He’d even learned that she’d been married, had kids and lived a good long life. More importantly he was proud of her that she had been a founding member of SHIELD, this being the most important reason he had decided to join. But now, standing outside of the nursing home, he can’t find the strength to make his feet move from the spot he’s standing in.

“You’re being an idiot Rogers. Just open the door, walk in and ask to see her.”

Finally he opens the door, takes a quick look around, and makes his way to the Nurse’s desk.

“Good afternoon, Sir. Can I help you with something?”

“Yes, I’m…, I was wondering if I could see Peggy Carter?”

“Are you a friend or a relative?”

“I’m a friend. My name is Steve Rogers. I’m…,”

“You’re Captain America. Oh My God! Captain America is visiting…,”

Steve is mortified that he was recognized. He came to visit an old friend, but now after the nurse screamed out his name, he’s suddenly being surrounded by the rest of the staff. 

“Captain it’s an honor…,”

“Would you sign this for me…,”

“What’s it like being a super-hero?”

Those are the first three questions he heard amid a torrent of requests for pictures and autographs. He’s almost about to turn around and walk away, when the Director of the Nursing Home rushes in to stop the frenzy.

“Ladies, ladies please! We have patients here that need attending to. I’m sure Captain Rogers would love to answer all of your questions, but he is here for a reason. Could we let him do that, and if there’s time, maybe he can speak to us later.”

Quickly the nurses all return to their jobs, but not without a collective sigh of disappointment. Even as he and the Director walk away, Steve can hear the ladies discussing him. He does his best to ignore all the comments and listen to what he’s being asked.

“I’m sorry about that Captain. It’s just that my nurses have never met a real super-hero before. And especially you, they call you America’s favorite bachelor. All of them talk about what it would be like to date you.”

“Somehow Sir, I’m not surprised. But I do have to thank you for putting a stop to all of that.”

“It’s my pleasure Captain. I’m not going to lie to you, you were my favorite hero growing up. I’ve read everything about you. But getting back to the matter at hand, who did you say you were here to see?”

“Peggy Carter. I’ve been meaning to come sooner, but there just…,”

“Say no more, I understand. But you should know, Ms. Carter is suffering from Alzheimer’s disease. It’s still in early stages, but her memory is starting to go. So you’ll need to be cautious with her.”

“Of course I will, Doctor. Even if I don’t get to speak with her, it would be nice to just see her again.”

“Of course. We’re nearing the communal area. I was actually just with her. Would you give me a moment to check on her before you come in?”

Steve nods, he knows this is going to be a shock for Peggy to see him again after all these years. While he stands outside in the hallway, he hears the Doctor speaking, and her voice in response, older but with the same strength he always attributed to her.

“Ms. Carter, shall we continue where we left off when I heard the ruckus in the main office? How are you feeling today?”

“I’m feeling fine, but for some reason I’ve haven’t been able to stop thinking about someone. He’s been in my thoughts quite frequently lately. I just don’t want to lose him from my memories.”

“Would you like to tell me who?”

“I think you already know the answer to that question Doctor. We’ve spoken in detail about him on many occasions.”

“Quite right, and that’s why I would hold off further discussions about him for today. You have a visitor.”

While he stands next to Peggy, the Doctor motions to the doorway. It’s a small signal for her visitor to enter, but she’s not prepared for the voice she hears after he approaches.

“Hey Peg. I’m…,”

Tears start to fill Peggy’s eyes and she feels as if she’s imagining this. A comforting hand on her shoulder tells her this is real. Slowly she stands and turns to face the man behind her.

“Steve…,”

Her breath catches as she places a hand over her mouth in shock. Seventy years have gone by since she last heard his voice, and the initial surprise is a little too much as she faints into his arms. Naturally Steve’s first reaction is too apologize.

“Doctor, I’m sorry. Maybe I shouldn’t have come so soon. Do you have a wheelchair we could place her in?”

“Don’t apologize Captain. Since you seem to already have a firm grip, I’d rather you carry her to her room. It will be quicker than me having to leave and come back with a wheelchair.”

Steve gently lifts Peggy up in his arms and follows the Doctor to her room. When they arrive, he sets her gently down on the bed, and her Doctor then begins checking her vitals. After ten minutes, he speaks to Steve again.

“She’s going to be fine, Captain. She’s still physically healthy enough that this was a momentary reaction to the sight of you after so many years. You should know that she thinks about you often, and that is what I think caused this episode.”

“I still can’t help feeling that I should leave though. I don’t want to cause any more…,”

“Captain, you don’t see it do you? This is your chance to catch up on all you missed.”

A slight movement from Peggy catches the attention of both men. She’s waking up so the Doctor knows he needs to give them some time alone. He also knows that actually talking to Steve will be the best thing for Peggy right now.

“Trust me, Steve. Talk to her, resolve whatever you two have been holding on to for the past seventy years. And be sure to come back as often as possible. If you need anything, I’ll be right outside.”

“Thank you Doctor. I’m sorry, I don’t think I caught your name.”

“It’s Keith, Keith Kincaid.”

After Dr. Kincaid leaves, Steve sits down at Peggy’s bedside. She’s still recovering from her fainting spell, and as her eyes slowly open, she thinks she was dreaming, and a name escapes her lips.

“Steve.”

“I’m here Peg. I’m right here.”

Lightly turning her head, Peggy looks over to see Steve sitting there beside her. She remembers the way his blonde hair falls across his forehead and the look in his ocean blue eyes looking down at her as if he can see her thoughts.

“This has to be a dream, you were lost so long ago. I can’t believe you’re here.”

“It’s me Peg, this isn’t a dream, I’m really here.”

He reaches over and takes her hand, and she can feel the warmth she’s missed. But she doesn’t think about their last conversation as he flew towards the Arctic. She’s thought about that enough over the years.

“You missed our dance.”

Her tone is lightly teasing and it brings a smile to Steve’s face. Of all the things he could say, how he’s sorry for leaving her, how he wishes he could go back and change what happened, he doesn’t. He simply teases her back.

“Couldn’t call my ride, but better late than never.”

They talk for hours, long into the afternoon. Peggy shows Steve her photo album, pictures of her husband, her children, and her grand-children. He does feel a little melancholy, knowing that these pictures could have been of them, but he puts a smile on his face, happy that she found love. 

“You know, Howard never stopped looking for you.”

“Director Fury told me, he was looking for me when he found HYDRA’s secret weapon.”

“I wish you could have been there Steve, to see us put an end to HYDRA once and for all.”

“I didn’t need to be, I knew you’d continue the fight. I’m glad someone finished them off. What about the Commandos? How many are…”

“Steve, don’t. I know you miss them, even Dugan remarked to me how he missed you on our mission in Russia. Tell me, have you found your right partner yet?”

“I did once, but I had to let her go. I know she’s had a good life. I’m glad she got the chance to be happy.”

“Still so dramatic, sometimes there’s more than one right partner for everybody. I did have a good life, it’s time for you to do the same.”

As the sun was setting, Dr. Kincaid came back in to check on Peggy. He noticed Steve was still there, and though he was loathe to interrupt their moment together, visiting hours were ending.

“Captain Rogers, I’m sorry. But Ms. Carter needs her rest.”

“Of course, I didn’t realize it was so late. I’ll be on my way.”

Before he can get too far, Peggy grabs hold of his hand, pulling him back for just a moment.

“Steve, promise me you’ll come see me again.”

“I can’t leave my best girl. I promise.”

He walks out escorted by Dr. Kincaid, thankfully this helps avoid any more awkward requests from the nursing staff. When they reach the exit door, the two men shake hands, but before parting ways, one last conversation.

“This was good for her Captain. She needed to see you again.”

“Yeah, and I was glad I got to see her again. Doctor, how long does she have with her memories, before they start to finally go?”

“It’s really too early to tell, but be thankful for the time you still have. And to be honest, the more you come to see her, the better it will be. Before you come back for your next visit, call me and let me know. I’ll be sure to get you in without a scene like you experienced today.”

Kincaid hands Steve his card, and they shake hands again. As he rides away, he smiles, thankful for this time and grateful Peggy has someone taking care of her. When he arrives home later that evening, Steve pulls out his files and photo albums, getting lost in a sea of memories. Peggy found the strength to move on and keep fighting, he knows he has to do the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Steve went to see Peggy in Captain America: The Winter Soldier, but I think that wasn't the first time he went to see her. This is how I kind of imagined it going after The Avengers, and as the first time he went to see her after he was thawed and the Battle of New York. It could have been possible during that time she was in the early stages of Alzheimer's and that's how I decided to write this chapter. After all Winter Soldier was two years after the Battle of New York. Hope everyone is enjoying the story, and thank you all for the comments and kudos. I appreciate them all.


	6. Next Morning

The next morning when Steve woke up he realized he’d forgotten to meet up with Natasha at headquarters. He doesn’t usually lose track of time, but spending the day with Peggy did that to him. After a quick shower and getting dressed he left for the day. When he reached SHIELD, he made his way to the training levels. In the main workout room, he dropped his duffel bag and stood entranced at the sight.

Natasha was already there, going through her routine. He watched as she practiced kickboxing with the practice dummy. Her precision and timing were flawless. Each kick was more fluid than the last, each movement performed gracefully, and all the more deadly because of her grace. Finally when she stopped, she grabbed a towel to wipe the sweat from her face, and startled Steve when she spoke.

“Enjoying the view Rogers?”

“Natasha I, no, umm…”

“You’re stuttering Captain, spill it.”

“I was just coming in for my workout. I didn’t know you’d be here. I can come back later…,”

“Suit yourself, unless you want to spar with me.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Natasha. Aside from the Chitauri and Master Man I haven’t fought a living opponent in several years.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right; I wouldn’t want you to break a hip.”

She smirks at Steve, hoping this would provoke a reaction from him. He’s there, so he knows he’s not going to get out of this easily. Finally after moments of hesitation, he agrees.

“All right, Agent Romanoff. Let’s see where this goes.”

“On the mat, soldier.”

Natasha led the way towards the ring, with Steve right behind her. Ever the gentleman, he climbed up first, and held the ropes open for her. Natasha ignored his chivalrous gesture and hopped over the ropes with an almost feline dexterity, landing on her feet.

“Okay Rogers, let’s see what you’ve got.”

As soon as he was through the ropes, both of them took on a battle ready stance. They’ve seen each other fight, so they each know what the other is capable of. Slowly, almost methodically they began to circle each other. This wasn’t a way to delay the fight by any means; they were sizing the other up. Steve was searching for weaknesses in Natasha’s defense, but she was searching out his strongest points, looking for a way around them. Suddenly the fight began when Steve threw a right cross, and she blocked. Taking to the offensive, Natasha launched into a roundhouse kick, and he sidestepped, her foot catching only air where his head had been. Their sparring session would continue like this for an hour, neither combatant being able to gain the edge. Their movements were as graceful as a choreographed dance recital. 

“Come on Rogers, you ready to call it quits yet?”

“Why; you getting sleepy?”

His smug grin told Natasha he was enjoying this just as much as she is. Changing tactics, she decided to feint a punch, and when he went to block, she grabbed his arm and twisted it around behind his back. The grip didn’t hold for long thanks to his strength, and Steve was able to flip her over his shoulder, but still she landed on her feet. When he threw his next punch she easily ducked and rolled away, springing back up and wrapping her legs around his throat. A twist of her body brought the soldier down on his back, with Natasha straddling him, and her knees pinning his arms to the mat.

“So you ready to tap out this time Cap?”

Steve wasn’t upset that he lost to her, but he was extremely embarrassed at the intimate position they were now both in. His cheeks were flushed red, later he would say it was from the exertion of the sparring session, but he knew better and so did Natasha. But with her pinning him down like that, he tapped his right hand against the mat, signaling that he was beaten. When Natasha stood up, she smirked, and offered him a hand.

“Come on Gramps, you need some help?”

It took a moment for Steve to prop himself up on his elbows, but when he did he adopted a smirk of his own, leading his partner to wonder what he was thinking.

“I’ve been beaten up a lot of times in my life, but this is the first time I’ve genuinely enjoyed losing.”

“Then you should be glad I’m on your side. So, was this enough to keep you from going back to therapy with Dr. Kafka?”

“Tough call, but I’ll probably still go back. What about you?”

“Me, uh-uh. The only reason I went for that one was because Fury didn’t give us a choice. I’m done with therapy.”

As they prepared to exit the ring, Steve held the ropes for Natasha again, and this time she did take advantage of the offer. When she was at her own duffel bag, she grabbed two bottles of water, and without looking, tossed one back to Steve. They sat there together in silence for a moment, letting their heartbeats return to resting pace. In truth, Steve was still thinking about Dr. Kafka’s suggestion.

“Hey Natasha, do you think…”

“What about Hill? She’s single. You should ask her out.”

Again she interrupted him before he got the chance to suggest going out for coffee. It’s only the second time he’s tried so he’s just got to be patient.

“I’m not going to ask Deputy Director Hill out.”

“Well why not? She’s smart, she’s pretty, and she’s the same stickler for rules that you are. Perfect match. Besides, she may have thought nobody noticed, but I caught the way she was admiring your attributes on the helicarrier.”

“Real subtle Natasha. Again, like with Dr. Kafka that would be a conflict of interests.”

“Well don’t worry Steve. I’ll find someone for you to go out with.”

“Why are you so interested in trying to find me a date?”

“Why are you not? You could be the world’s leading expert on waiting too long, so what are you waiting for?”

“The right partner.”

Before Natasha can respond to that, both of their phones get an alert that Fury wants to see them. Steve’s actually thankful for this interruption if it will take Natasha’s mind off of trying to set him up.

“Well, looks like we’ve got a mission, Cap. Playtime’s over.”

“Yeah, but we should do this again. Maybe after the mission?”

“Really? Are you really looking forward to me kicking your ass again?”

“Maybe next time I’ll surprise you.”

A second alert comes through to their phones, more insistent this time. Quickly grabbing their gear, they head for the elevator, and then Fury’s office. When they arrive, he is pacing behind his desk.

“Romanoff, Rogers, take a seat. Your mission to Germany was a success, but stopping Sinthea Schmidt was just the beginning. As of this point, we haven’t been able to determine how many more like the Master Man there could be. We’re still working on that, but that’s not why I called you here. Stane has resurfaced. His plans to go to Germany were a ruse to get us to apprehend Schmidt. The weapons he created for her, dummy units. If she had attempted to use them they would have malfunctioned.”

“So where is Stane now?”

“Intelligence says he’s returned to California. From what we’ve been able to gather, he’s preparing to launch an attack against Stark Industries.”

“With what? If his weapons were a decoy, and he never received the money that Skull’s daughter promised him, what is he after?”

“Vengeance Captain. At 1100 hours, the U.S. Air Force detected a bogey flying through military air space. They were only able to transmit one photo before their F-22’s were shot down.”

Fury slides a photo across his desk for Steve and Natasha to see. What they see appears to be a man in a suit of armor. The colors don’t match Tony’s most recent suit, which leads them to one conclusion.

“Stane found his father’s files on the Iron Monger armor, didn’t he?”

“It does appear that way, Agent Romanoff. I’ve already placed a call warning Stark. He believes he can handle Stane.”

“Then why are we going in?”

“Captain, you are going in to provide protection for the employees of Stark Industries. We believe that Stane is also targeting Stark’s files, and all of his technology. Agent Romanoff is going in to prevent that from happening.”

“If he’s targeting Stark tech, what’s his endgame? Why is this so important?”

“Excellent question Rogers. Ever since Tony Stark became Iron Man, governments all over the world have been attempting to recreate his armor. What better way for Stane to get revenge, he steals the designs, and builds the suits of armor for the highest bidder.”

“When do we leave?”

“You’ve got fifteen minutes to suit up and you leave immediately.”

As they depart Fury’s office, this isn’t really the type of mission they expected for their second time out as partners. Natasha’s directives were a little more clear, and Steve doesn’t have a problem protecting the innocents, but she does take note of the confusion in his eyes.

“Not every mission can be in a war-torn country Captain. Come on, this’ll be fun.”

When they arrived at Stark Industries, Iron Man was already in battle with Stane in the new Iron Monger armor. As the Quinjet landed, Natasha was on her com unit contacting Tony, trying to get the information she needed.

“Stark, Rogers and I are here, what’s the status?”

“About time, you better have picked me up some shawarma, Romanoff. I’ve engaged Stane in battle, but JARVIS tells me his goons used our fight as a distraction to get in the building.”

“How many hostages, Stark?”

“None that I know of yet, Spangles. Just get in there and stop them.”

At the front door, Natasha began hacking the security codes; she still knew how to over-ride them from her time as Natalie Rushman. But whoever Stane has working for him planned for that, and she couldn’t break through. 

“Cap, I don’t know what they’ve done. Someone has found a way to lock me out of the system. Stane must have gotten the codes from his late father, and provided them to his men. We’re not going to get in this way.”

“Yes we are, get clear of the door Romanoff.”

She steps away just in time to see Steve barreling towards the door with his shield in front of him. Running at break-neck speed he shatters the glass and puts a large hole in the metal panel behind it. 

“All right Stark, we’re in.”

“Good, get to it. I’ll keep Stane occupied.”

Making their way through the main hallway, Steve and Natasha didn’t encounter any initial resistance. They ended up being able to make their way through the rest of the building fairly easily since it seemed to be deserted. But when they reached the main server rooms, the doors wouldn’t open. They couldn’t risk Steve busting the door down if there were hostiles and hostages. Natasha attached a small explosive to the door, and when it went off the security panel was destroyed. Inside the room was one technician with a lap-top. His computer was connected to the main server, and a small satellite dish was trying to connect to a signal.

“Drop the computer. Whatever you’re doing is not worth your life.”

“You’re too late; I just connected to Stane International’s network. In two minutes, all of Stark’s dirty little secrets will be stored on our hard drives. Then Mr. Stane will be able to bring this company down.”

Steve had heard enough, he walked across the room and slammed the lap-top closed, and the technician just barely moved his hands out of the way in time.

“Agent Romanoff, if you’d be so kind?”

Natasha quickly walked over to where the technician was sitting and pushed him out of the way. Silently she got to work, making a mental note to never piss off Captain America. As soon as she disabled the connection to the rival company, she inserted a flash drive with SHIELD security protocols. In less than two minutes a Trojan horse program was uploaded and on its way through cyberspace to Stane’s servers. 

“And that’s it, the program is in, and everything Stane hijacked from Stark Industries is being erased.”

“Good, Agent Romanoff, I’ve just defeated this Iron Monger. How about you call some of your SHIELD buddies and have him arrested.”

“Already done; ETA is ten minutes. Luckily for you Stark, we still have a satellite base in Malibu.”

“Luck is irrelevant, Romanoff.”

“By the way, what goons?”

“They’re gone Capsicle. If they were even here to begin with.”

“Then why didn’t you tell us that, you can’t keep secrets Stark, especially when those secrets could cost lives.”


	7. Understanding

After the mission at Stark Industries, Steve and Natasha finally found a middle ground where they could work together without angering the other. They weren’t to the point of friendship yet, but they had each-other’s backs in every mission. After almost two years, they had become a cohesive team. With this new development, he began to feel like he didn’t need to see Dr. Kafka anymore. He had seen her sporadically every few months, but now he had Natasha to open up to as well. But there was one time she was away on a solo mission where having Captain America would be a hindrance more than a help. She left right after trying to set him up on another date, and once again he refused. It was a Monday morning that he was back in Dr. Kafka’s office while she was away, because he found himself restless.

“So what brings you here today Steve?”

“I guess I’m just confused.”

“Why is that?”

“Well, Natasha and I are finally working together without any conflicts. So far though, getting her to open up is a lot more difficult than it seems on paper. But the reason I’m confused is because she keeps trying to set me up on these dates, mostly with women she thinks I would like, but I keep turning them down.”

“Well, why are you turning them down?”

“You’re going to think I’m crazy, but for one thing, they all work for SHIELD. And for another I know most of them, none of them feel right to me. They all talk to me as Captain America, and it feels like that’s who they want to date.”

“That’s actually not uncommon, Steve. If I may venture a guess, I think you turn them down because you want to be seen as Steve Rogers, and not Captain America. It’s the way Peggy saw you, because she knew you before him. And have you asked Natasha not to set you up on dates?”

“No, because she means well, and after you suggested asking her out for coffee, I can’t stop thinking about that, even though I can never get the question out, because whenever I try…,”

“She suggests another SHIELD agent for you to date. So you never took her out for coffee?”

“Well, no. There just hasn’t been the time. Either we’ve been on missions together, or on separate missions. So…,”

“So you really haven’t gotten to know her on a personal level. Steve; this sounds kind of like your relationship with Peggy. You said once that you didn’t have the time for anything more because of the war.”

“But that’s true; Natasha and I can rely on each other as a team now, and…,”

“But here’s the problem as I see it. Even if you’re not putting the mission ahead of other’s lives, you’re still putting it ahead of your own. What you’re missing is what’s right in front of you.”

Steve stares blankly at Dr. Kafka for a few moments. He’s not sure what she means by missing what’s in front of him. When his silence gets frustrating, she tries to clear things up.

“Let me put it to you another way, Steve. Natasha keeps trying to set you up on dates because she may think you’re lonely. It’s also textbook avoidance; she could also be doing this because she potentially has an interest in you.”

“No, no way. Natasha’s not interested in me. I think she’s got something going on with Agent Barton. All of us see the way they are together, and she and I are just too different, it wouldn’t work out.”

“Are you sure about that? I’ve seen this many times before, mostly before I founded Ravencroft. Captain, you’re not the first person to take an interest in someone who reminds you of a past love.”

“Maybe I’m not, but that’s not a good way to start a relationship. Especially when you have to put your life in the hands of the other person, and vice versa.”

“Actually, putting your trust as well as your life in the hands of someone that you care about can be a strong cornerstone to building something more. You do care about Natasha, don’t you?”

“Of course. As leader of the Avengers, I’m ultimately responsible for her life and the lives of the others. That kind of makes it hard not to care about them.”

Dr. Kafka shakes her head; she knows this how Steve is rationalizing his responsibilities, so she can’t fault him for that. But in her own mind she thinks he’s totally clueless as to what she’s really saying.

“Okay Steve, you need to think about what I’ve said here today. And seeing as our time is up, I want you to go home and think about it in depth.”

“How do I do that?”

“Forget about Captain America and his responsibilities. Focus on Steve Rogers. What does Steve want from this new time and world he’s living in?”

As he leaves, Steve’s still not sure what Dr. Kafka was trying to tell him. He doesn’t think there can be anything more between him and Natasha, but he also wonders what if he does care more about her as more than just a partner. Two days later, he’s leaving on his own mission as Natasha is returning from hers. Despite what she told Steve, she does feel the need to see Dr. Kafka again, even though it goes against her better judgment, an outside observer might help her with their partnership.

“Good morning Agent Romanoff, I didn’t think you would ever come to see me again. That’s the feeling I got from your first visit with me.”

“Well I wasn’t going too. And I’d rather not talk about me, but I could use your help with Steve.”

“Why, is your partnership not working out like it should? If that’s the case, you should try to convince Fury that you need to be partnered with someone else.”

“We’ve done that before, and his answer was a resounding no. But no, Steve and I have been working well together, so that’s not the issue.”

“Then tell me what is.”

“I think he’s lonely.”

“What makes you think that?”

“Well, Thor has someone, Tony has someone, and even Bruce has someone he cares about. But Steve, I never see him trying to meet anyone. I feel like he just wants to keep to himself, and isn’t really making an effort to have a personal life. I’ve even tried to set him up on some dates, but he always turns them down. He keeps saying he’s waiting for the right partner.”

“Do you think that’s the truth?”

“He hasn’t given me any reason to not believe it’s the truth, but if he won’t date, how is he ever going to find the right partner?”

“That’s a good question. But put yourself in his shoes for a moment, his life was a lot different than that of most men today. He grew up as a skinny sickly kid, who apparently wasn’t given the time of day by any woman. Then he became Captain America. And suddenly women are fawning all over him. It’s a drastic change to adapt to. Back in the forties, if you grew up like Steve, you had to be seen as able to take care of a family, strong, determined, and able to provide. Now, it’s not the same. Many more women are doing this, and in certain cases gender roles have been swapped, men can be stay at home Dad’s now.”

“But that still doesn’t tell me why he won’t at least consider going out with someone I suggest to him.”

“Then let me put it this way, he knows that he’s Captain America. But I think, and this is just my opinion, he doesn’t want someone who is just interested in that aspect of himself. He wants someone who sees past the hero, who sees Steve Rogers.”

“So you’re saying I need to find someone for him to date who doesn’t work for SHIELD. Someone who doesn’t know he’s Captain America.”

“No, that’s not what I’m saying at all. I’m saying that you need to get know the man under the shield. Find out more about him as Steve, and put the hero aside.”

“No offense Doctor, but it sounds like you’re suggesting I should ask Steve out on a date.”

“And if I was, would that be such a bad thing? You care for him don’t you?”

“Yes, he’s a natural leader, and we’ve become good partners. But asking him out on a date, that’s a terrible idea.”

“Tell me why. Is it because of Agent Barton?”

“What’s Clint got to do with this?”

“I’m just asking, weren’t you and he partners first?”

“Yes, but there’s nothing going on between Clint and I. He saved my life, and he’s more like a brother to me. And I’m not here to talk about me, unless it’s in a way I can help Steve.”

“Okay, then let’s get back to you and Steve. Why would it be a terrible idea for the two of you to go on a date?”

“Because I can’t give Steve what he wants. He’s a soldier and I’m a spy. Opposite ends of the spectrum. We’re partners; I don’t think we’ll ever really be friends. Even if we could get to friendship, I want more for him. He deserves someone as good and kind as he is. I can’t ever be that person. There are things I’ve done in my past that I can’t tell you, that I can’t tell him. My life is all about secrets, and if he knew…, he’d never be able to trust me.”

“Are you sure about that?”

The question completely catches Natasha off guard. She wants to say yes, but she doesn’t know if she can. Instead she goes the other route and almost explodes in anger.

“Doctor, I came here to get your advice on how to help Steve. Not for you to psycho-analyze me. If you’re not going to do that, then I should leave. I knew coming here was a bad idea.”

Natasha quickly stands up and exits the office, slamming the door behind her. When she reaches the street she curses herself for letting Dr. Kafka get that much out of her, and after she calms down, she realizes she’s not really mad at the other woman as much as she is at herself. When she gets back to SHIELD, she immediately goes to Fury and asks for an assignment as soon as Steve gets back. 

“Nick I need a mission. Any mission. I don’t care what it is.”

“You know your partner is still away on his recon mission. Although I did receive word that he should be on a flight back this afternoon. As soon as he arrives you’ll be going right back out; I have the perfect mission for you two.”

“What is it?”

“Georges Batroc, he’s an Algerian mercenary. He’s captured a SHIELD vessel, and he’s taken hostages.”

“So we’re going in to free them. Back-up?”

“STRIKE will be assisting in the mission.”

“Then this will be easy. I’ll go get ready.”

“Not so fast, Agent Romanoff. Captain Rogers’ mission is to rescue the hostages. You’re going in for an entirely different reason. Take this flash drive. I need you to download all the files, I need them.”

“That won’t be a problem. I’ll meet Rogers at the…,”

“Romanoff, I don’t want him to find out about this. Get in, get out, and help him free the hostages.”

Steve’s flight landed late that night and after a few hours of sleep he was up for his morning run. Natasha came and picked him up while he was still talking with Sam Wilson. Later that day a Quinjet is flying over the Atlantic towards the SHIELD vessel. Inside the STRIKE team is strapping into their parachutes after going over the mission parameters one more time. In the back of the jet, Natasha is teasing Steve while still trying to forget her meeting with Kafka.

“So, you doing anything fun Saturday night?”

“Well, all the guys in my barbershop quartet are dead, so no, not really.”

A small smirk crosses Natasha’s lips, grateful that Steve can still joke with her before the mission at hand. She doesn’t know that he had met with Dr. Kafka before being sent on his previous mission. 

“You know, if you asked Kristen out from statistics, she’d probably say yes.”

“That’s why I don’t ask.”

“Too shy or too scared?”

“Too busy!”

The mission was proceeding as planned, STRIKE was securing the hostages, but Natasha missed the rendezvous, and stopped answering her com. It was then that Steve ended up in a fight with Batroc. The fight was brutal and lasted a good while until they reached the control room, where Natasha was downloading the files.

“Well this is awkward.”

“You were supposed to be securing the hostages. That was the mission.”

“No, that was your mission.”

Steve knew this wasn’t the time to be arguing with his partner, but her actions could have cost the lives of the hostages. In an instant, Batroc recovered and lobbed a grenade. Steve was able to deflect it with his shield, but it still went off as he grabbed Natasha and slammed them through a glass window, getting to cover just in time.

“Okay, that one was on me.”

“Damn right.”

Getting up and walking away, Steve didn’t notice Natasha rolling her eyes in frustration as she realized she was right, when she told Dr. Kafka Steve would never be able to trust her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes into account the events of Winter Soldier, as will the next chapter. But the main focus was Dr. Kafka trying to understand both Steve and Natasha.


	8. The Fall

After the mission onboard the Lemurian Star, Steve and Natasha’s return to the Triskelion was less than eventful. While she went to the med bay, Steve was headed to Fury’s office. The anger is his glare was as evident as the anger in the way his footsteps fell across the floor. 

“You just can’t stop yourself from lying can you?”

Nick goes on to explain he how he didn’t lie, and Steve counters with how soldiers trust each other, and that’s what makes an army. Shortly there-after they’re on their way down to the Insight Bay. The sight of three new helicarriers is surprising to the soldier, and he’s not hesitant about speaking his mind in response to Fury’s affirmation.

“By holding a gun at everyone on Earth and calling it protection.”

“You know, I read those SSR files. Greatest generation? You guys did some nasty stuff.”

“Yeah, we compromised. Sometimes in ways that made us not sleep so well. But we did it so the people could be free. This isn’t freedom, this is fear.”

“SHIELD takes the world as it is, not as we’d like it to be. It’s getting damn near past time for you to get with that program Cap.”

“Don’t hold your breath.”

After his meeting with Fury, Steve went to the Smithsonian, and ended up seeing the exhibit on his life. He was only recognized by one person, a young boy. Seeing his life described in detail, and the video of Peggy recounting how he saved over a thousand men, made him feel almost wistful. Hearing her talk about him, made him realize he hadn’t been to see her for some time. 

“Dr. Kincaid, it’s Steve Rogers. I was hoping to come by and see Peggy.”

“Of course, Captain. Meet me out front of the facility and I’ll get you in.”

When Steve arrived, the nurses were all busy with other patients so he was able to walk in easily. Like all the other times, he and Peggy look at her photos, and a hint of sadness creeps into his eyes.

“What is it?”

“For as long as I can remember, I just wanted to do what was right. I’m guess I’m not quite sure what that is anymore. And I guess I thought I could throw myself back in and follow orders, serve. It’s just not the same anymore.”

Peggy chuckles lightly, and reminds Steve he’s being dramatic. She also reminds him he saved the world, though the subsequent generations mucked it up. This visit ended up being one of the hardest ones he made. After a few moments, Peggy looked back after hearing Steve speak her name, and it was as if she was seeing him again for the first time.

While Steve was with Peggy, everything else in the world of SHIELD was on the verge of collapse. Fury was attacked after getting in contact with Hill, telling her he needed her in D.C. He escaped his would be assassin; going to the only place he thought he might be safe. After taking three gunshot wounds through the chest, and handing off the flash drive, Fury’s last words to Steve were:

“Don’t… trust anyone.”

With Fury’s death, Steve knew he had to keep the drive protected, but he wasn’t going to trust anyone, not even Natasha. Not long after Steve was branded a fugitive, and had to go on the run. Back at the hospital he discovered the flash drive had been taken, and Natasha had it. 

“I know who killed Fury.”

The revelation of the assassin gets them on the move. Now Steve and Natasha are on the run together, and they only have each other to trust. In a race against time, they try to find out what’s one the flash drive, first at an Apple Store. Using a tracer, they discover that the program’s signal originates from Wheaton, New Jersey. 

Now knowing where they have to go, Natasha spots Rumlow on the escalator opposite them.

“Kiss me.”

“What?”

“Public displays of affection make people very uncomfortable.”

“Yes, they do.”

Before Steve can protest again, Natasha reaches up and pulls him down into a kiss. After some light banter on whether or not Steve is still uncomfortable, they borrow a car and head for New Jersey. At Camp Lehigh they learn from Dr. Zola, whose brain had been stored on thousands of feet of databanks that HYDRA had been growing inside of and corrupting SHIELD. The base is attacked and destroyed, and Natasha is unconscious from the attack. Steve only knows of one place he can go.

“Hey man.”

“I’m sorry about this, but we need a place to lay low.”

“Everyone we know is trying to kill us.”

“Not everyone.”

At Sam’s place, Natasha reveals to Steve that she doesn’t really know whose lies she’s telling. For the first time she’s worried about what direction her life is going to take now, not that she tells this to Steve. Instead, she goes back to how she is with Clint, when he saved her life.

“I owe you.”

“It’s okay.”

“If it was the other way around, and it was down to me to save your life, and you be honest with me, would you trust me to do it?”

“I would now. And I’m always honest.”

The next few days could have been described as a blur. They tracked down Sitwell, and got him to reveal the nature of Zola’s algorithm. With a plan to use him to bypass security and disable the Insight helicarriers, Steve, Natasha and Sam thought they could end this before it even began. They would never make it to their destination as they were attacked on the bridge by the Winter Soldier.

The fight was brutal, Steve did what he could to protect the civilians and his team, but a rocket fired hit his shield and launched him through a bus. Suddenly Natasha was being hunted by the Winter Soldier and though she fought bravely, the battle ended with her taking a bullet to the shoulder. At the moment he was preparing to take the kill shot, Steve charged back into battle. Their fight was a flurry of motion, each matching the other’s pace, and not giving an inch. After being relieved of his shield, Steve did gain the upper hand and threw his adversary down to the street, removing his mask in the process.

“Bucky?”

“Who the hell is Bucky?”

After the battle on the bridge, Steve and Natasha found out Nick was still alive. More importantly he had a plan to bring the helicarriers down. While Steve, Sam, and Hill worked together to execute the plan Natasha was confronting Pierce. Everything was going well until the final helicarrier. 

“A lot of people are going to die, Buck. I can’t let that happen.”

Bucky didn’t respond, he just stared back at Steve with a cold emotionless glare. 

“Please, don’t make me do this.”

In a fight that pushed the two best friends to their very limits, Steve did everything he could to get the targeting chip into the control panel. They both fell together, and while Bucky had the chip, Steve was forced to break his friend’s right arm, before choking him into unconsciousness. Even after multiple gunshot wounds, Steve finally got the chip in place.

“We have target lock, Steve get clear.”

“Do it!

“But Steve…,”

“Do it now!”

Maria heard the desperation in his voice, it nearly matched her own. But she did what she had to and the helicarriers fired on themselves. Steve watched as the guns began firing, and upon looking down saw Bucky struggling to remove the debris that had fallen on him. When the fight began again, Steve refused to defend himself.

“Bucky…,”

“SHUT UP!”

“You’re name is James Buchanan Barnes. You know me.”

“No I don’t!”

“I’m not gonna fight you. You’re my friend.”

“You’re my mission.”

Bucky repeated this while landing punch after punch to Steve’s face and chest. Finally when he could barely speak, Steve got only a few words out through bruised and busted lips.

“Then finish it, cause I’m with you to the end of the line.”

A flash of recognition hit Bucky and his eyes showed fear and remorse for what he’d done. It took a few days for Steve to wake up after he was dragged out of the Potomac. When he did, he found himself in a hospital with Sam keeping him company.

“On your left.”

After he was healed, and met with Fury, Sam and Natasha at the graveyard, Steve knew Bucky was out there, and he was going to find him. After Fury walked away, this was what Steve thought was going to be his last moment with Natasha as his partner.

“Not going with him?”

“No.”

“Not staying here.”

“I blew all my covers. I gotta go work on a new one.”

“That could take a while.”

She then handed over a file on Bucky. She appropriated it after calling in a few favors.

“Would you do me a favor, call that nurse.”

“She’s not a nurse.”

“And you’re not a SHIELD Agent.”

And with a warning that he might not want to pull on that thread, Steve watched Natasha walk away. Before he and Sam left to track down Bucky, he decided on visiting Dr. Kafka one more time.

“This time, I think I know why you’re here Steve.”

“Really, care to enlighten me?”

“I saw the footage from D.C. It was all over the news.”

“Yeah, looks like I no longer work for SHIELD.”

“How do you feel about that?”

“Trust me Doctor, that’s the least of my worries right now.”

“Then tell me what is.”

“Well, Agent Romanoff and I were directly responsible for laying waste to the entire intelligence apparatus of the U.S. Although, we didn’t really have a choice because we found out HYDRA had infiltrated SHIELD and our Government, possibly back as early as the forties.”

“Is this information you should be giving me, Steve?”

“The whole world knows now, I think any chance of this being classified went down in the Potomac with that helicarrier.”

“Okay, so what about you and Natasha? Did you give any thought on what I said?”

“Even if I did, it doesn’t matter. Natasha’s leaving. And so am I.”

“Okay Steve, I know this is going to sound judgmental, and I don’t intend it to be that way, but clearly you have some feelings for Natasha. Don’t be an idiot and let her get away without telling her how you feel.”

“She’s already gotten away. And I resolved myself to just being her friend. But in truth, those aren’t the only reasons I came here.”

“So what else is bothering you?”

“Where do I start. Okay, my best friend Bucky Barnes fell from a train back in 1944. I did everything I could to save him, and I thought he died. Turns out, Bucky survived his fall and was found by HYDRA. I didn’t know it until I was in a battle with someone called the Winter Soldier. We fought, he used a rocket launcher to blast me through a bus. After I recovered, he was about to make a kill shot on Natasha, after already having shot her through the shoulder. I didn’t even think about it and rushed to her rescue. We fought on top of a car, on the street, and he even managed to take my shield from me. When I regained the upper hand, I flipped him off of me and threw him down to the street. That’s when his mask came off, revealing that he was my long thought dead best friend.”

Dr. Kafka falls silent because she doesn’t know what to say. It takes her a few moments to process what Steve just told her, and when she recovers, she barely knows what to ask.

“So…,”

“He tried to kill me. Natasha kept it from happening. To make a long story short, I had to fight him again on one of the helicarriers. I didn’t want to, I was hoping I could get through to him. But whatever programming HYDRA did to him was to strong. He shot me multiple times, and as the carrier was going down, I refused to fight him. It was when he was beating me senseless that I finally got through.”

“Then what happened?”

“I fell out of the carrier, splashing down in the Potomac. He must have dived in and pulled me out, because I briefly woke up on the shore of the river. Then I woke up in a hospital. Now after this session, I’m going to see if I can find him.”

“Well Steve, I think this is a first.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m sorry, but I can’t give you any advice on what you should do. Clearly you already know what you’re going to do. So the only thing I can tell you, is good luck.”

“Thanks Doc, I guess this is the last time that I’ll be coming to you. But really, thank you for everything.”

“It was my pleasure Captain Rogers. Though this doesn’t have to be the last time you see me. My door will always be open to you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I used a lot more of the Winter Soldier scenes and quotes in this chapter than I originally intended to. Again as always no infringement was intended. So I first have to say thank you to Anthony and Joe Russo for directing such an amazing movie, Kevin Feige for producing it, and to Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely for an amazing screenplay. The quotes I used were from what I thought were some of the most well written and emotionally perfect scenes in the movie, although the movie as a whole was probably the best one in the MCU. So, the last chapter started with Steve and Dr. Kafka, so it only felt right to have this chapter end with them. And the last reason I used these quotes from Winter Soldier was to set up the next chapter which takes place after the movie and before Age of ULTRON.


	9. Departure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I usually post the notes at the end of the chapter, but this is a special case. Warning: Chapter contains a whole lot of angst, Steve revealing his feelings to Natasha, and a major fight between the two of them. At the end of this chapter things may seem bleak for our two heroes, but have faith, all is not lost.

After meeting with Dr. Kafka, Steve was all set to leave on his mission to find Bucky. But he couldn’t go just yet. It took him four hours to get back to D.C. and the apartment SHIELD had set him up in. When he got there, the whole place had been efficiently cleaned out, minus his personal belongings. Quickly packing up his clothes and his record player, he made his way to a hotel. It was already late, so he wasn’t up for the drive back to New York that night. He thought about taking a shower to decompress, but he was even too tired to do that. So when he stepped out of the bathroom, he was surprised to find Natasha sitting on the bed.

“A hotel Rogers, really?”

“I couldn’t ask Sam to put me up again. He’s already too involved in this as it is. Why are you here Natasha?”

“Just to follow up, make sure you’re actually going to call Sharon.”

“You’re not gonna let that one go are you?”

“Nope, so call her.”

“Come on Natasha, that’s not really why you’re here. So spill it.”

“As a matter of fact that is the only reason I’m here. But since you think you can read me so well, why don’t you tell me why I’m here.”

“You’re here because of things we left unsaid. Things that you want to tell me, but are either afraid too, or just because you think I’ll see you differently if you say them.”

“You’re out of your mind Rogers.”

“Am I, then why won’t you look me in the eyes? Come on Natasha, you can’t keep hiding who you are from the world.”

“HIDING?! Do you think I was hiding when I dumped all of SHIELD and HYDRA’s secrets on the web? Do you think I was hiding because in doing so I released every secret about my past?”

“No, in that case you did what was necessary. And maybe you’re not hiding from the world, but you are hiding from me, and from what you want.”

“From what I…, you are so off the mark, it’s not even funny Rogers.”

“Then tell me I’m wrong. Tell me you weren’t at the hospital when I was recovering from what Bucky did to me. Even your warning, ‘I might not want to pull on that thread,’ tell me you didn’t say that because you were worried he’d do it to me again.”

Natasha can’t speak. She knows if she told Steve he was wrong it would be a lie. And as much as she tries to convince herself he’s missed the mark entirely, she knows she’s also lying to herself. So instead she says nothing, and waits as Steve looks at her with deep seated compassion in his eyes. When the silence becomes unbearable, he finally speaks again.

“Nat, talk to me. You can tell me whatever you want to, and I promise it won’t change how I see you.”

“Steve I…,”

Natasha falls silent again as a thousand thoughts run through her mind. But it’s not the silence that bothers Steve the most; it’s the tears he can see welling up in her eyes. He doesn’t know what else to do, so he sits down beside her and wraps an arm around her shoulders. When she doesn’t draw away from the contact he takes it as a good sign.

“Nat, I don’t know what you released on the web. I know that you took a major risk doing that, and I admire you for it. You don’t have to go through this alone. All you have to do is say so, and I’ll be there every step of the way.”

“Not alone? I’ve always been alone Rogers. My whole life I’ve been alone. Even with SHIELD, no one has ever really trusted me. My entire life is a lie, one built on another. No Steve, I’ve never been more alone than I am right now.”

“No you’re not. You’ve got all of us. Clint, Tony, Thor, Bruce, and me. We’re all here for you. You say no one’s ever trusted you, I…we all do.”

“How can you honestly say you trust me, you don’t even know the things I’ve done. What the KGB made me do, there’s so much red in my ledger that I know I’ll never be able to wipe it away.”

“Natasha listen to me. I don’t need to know what you’ve done in your past. I know who you are now, in all the ways that matter. I know you’re someone I care about deeply, and I know you’re hurting. I wouldn’t say any of this if it weren’t true. Because right here, right now, all that really matters to me is you, and that I lo…,”

“Don’t say it Rogers. If you say it, you can’t take it back.”

Natasha now pulls back from his embrace and steps away, anger flashing in her emerald green eyes. She knows that if he says these next words, everything between them will change, and it’s not something she’s ready for.

“Don’t say what? That I love you? I don’t know how it happened, but somewhere in the middle of the missions, and the injuries, over the past two years I fell in love with you.”

“You can’t love me Steve.”

“Why not?”

“Because you deserve more than me. You deserve better. You want a normal life and I can’t give that to you. You said it yourself, you’re waiting for the right partner, and she’s not me.”

“Natasha, nothing about our lives is normal. My life wasn’t even normal before I became Captain America. Why is it so hard to believe that all I want is you. But if you take the chance, we could get as close to normal as possible.”

“NO! We would never work Steve. Even if you trust me, what about when my past catches up to me, to us? I couldn’t bear it if something happened to you because of me. We can’t be together, it’s too much of a risk.”

“Natasha, please…”

“I’m sorry Steve. Good-bye.”

And just like that, two years of partnership, and feelings that neither of them ever expected to develop were gone in an instant as Natasha slammed the door behind her. Steve just sat there, letting her go. As she ran down the hallway to the elevator, the tears fell from her eyes like rain. They didn’t even stop when she got to her car. Even if she was denying the feelings she had for Steve, she knew this was the best course of action. When she started driving, Natasha didn’t even realize she had pointed her car west out of D.C. on a path 907 miles away to Iowa, and the one man who always had her back. Thirteen hours later she was knocking on his front door.

“Nat? What are you doing here? Did you drive all night?”

“You’re not happy to see me Clint? Maybe I should just…,”

“Get in here. I can tell you’ve been crying. That’s not like you.”

“Maybe it didn’t used to be, but I couldn’t help it. So much has happened…,”

“Hey, I know about SHIELD. I’ve been on missions. Even if I hadn’t it was all over the news. I was almost arrested on suspicion of being a HYDRA agent. So I know that’s not what’s bothering you.”

“How did you avoid being arrested?”

“Story for another time. Let’s get back to you. Tell me what’s wrong.”

“I…I don’t know if I can.”

“Don’t shut me out, Natasha. Not after all we’ve been through together.”

Suddenly the tears are threatening to fall again, and the spy who was always a picture of grace under pressure, a calm wind in the aftermath of a hurricane was on the verge of breaking down a second time. Clint’s never seen her like this, so he does what he can and waits for her to open up.

“It’s…it’s about Steve.”

“Cap’s not…he didn’t die in the fight; did he?”

“No…no Steve’s alive. The serum healed his injuries, but…”

“Well then, what’s wrong? If this is about Steve, he must have done, or is planning to do something stupid.”

“He told me he loves me.”

“Oh.”

“OH?! I drop that big a bombshell and all you can say is oh? What the hell Barton?”

“Nat you have to calm down. So the Star Spangled man fell in love with the Black Widow. Quite frankly, I’m shocked it took two years for it to happen.”

“You expected this to happen?”

“It’s not that far a stretch to believe it Nat. From day one in the battle of New York he was protecting you, did I or did I not see him throw his shield up to cover you from the exploding leviathan.”

“He did that, because it was the right thing to do.”

“Not arguing that, but this makes all the sense in the world.”

“To you, but not to me. There are so many women out there that could be exactly what he wants. Able to settle down, give him kids and the house with the white picket fence, two dogs in the yard and all that.”

“Yeah, but are you sure that’s what he wants?”

“It should be, that’s what men from his time were taught to believe should be their goal, and what would ultimately make them happy.”

“Fair enough, but that was then. I’ll admit I haven’t really gotten to know Steve that well, but I don’t think it’s hard to believe that he may not want that anymore. Captain America isn’t going to be able to have a normal life. Sometimes I still can’t believe I have a normal life.”

“But this life suits you Clint, it gives you something to fight for. Sometimes I’m even envious that you can have this, and I can’t.”

“Why can’t you? You can have anything you want Natasha. All you have to do is be willing to go for it. Have the courage to take what you want.”

“That’s easier said than done.”

“Not really, so why are you still denying it?”

“What?”

“That you’re in love with Steve.”

“I AM NOT in love with St…with Rogers.”

“You can fool a lot of people Nat. You’re the best in the world at it, but you can’t fool me. I know you to well.”

“Even IF I was willing to admit I was in love with Steve, it doesn’t matter anymore. I was so cold with him. I told him flat out that we can’t be together. I told him that we would never work because he deserves better than me.”

“So what, he loves you. You still have time to fix this. Call him.”

“I-I can’t. I walked out of his hotel room and slammed the door behind me. He didn’t follow me.”

“Because he knows you need this time to yourself. You don’t work with someone for two years, and not have them learn when you need some time to process. Call him.”

Natasha knew Clint wasn’t going to let this go until she called Steve, so she dialed his cell number. On the first ring, she hung up. 

“He’s not going to talk to me Clint. I can’t do this.”

“Yes you can. Call him.”

Summoning up her courage, she tried again. This time there was nothing on the other end of the line, no ringing and no answer. The call didn’t even connect to voicemail. Just a recording telling her the number she dialed was not in service. Frustrated, Natasha tossed her phone down beside her on the couch.

“I told you it was pointless. His phone didn’t even ring this time. I only got that stupid recording about his number not being in service.”

“That doesn’t mean anything. Maybe he’s just not near a stable connection. Don’t give up. I’ll go set up the guest room for you.”

When Clint left her alone, Natasha tried once more, but this time she called the hotel. 

“Hi, I’m looking for room 110, Captain Rogers, please.”

“Just a moment.”

The call is routed towards Steve’s room and the phone rings several times before reconnecting to the switchboard.

“I’m sorry Ma’am, who did you say you were calling for?”

“Captain Steve Rogers.”

“Oh, I just got word that Captain Rogers checked out rather hurriedly last night. It’s strange because he booked through this evening. Paid in full before leaving as well.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re quite welcome. Have a nice…,”

Natasha hangs up her phone before the desk clerk can finish her statement. When Clint comes back in, he notices his friend’s entire demeanor has changed. She’s once again become the cold detached assassin he’s known for years.

“Guest room is all set up, you get through?”

“No, and thanks for letting me stay here Clint. I’ll just go get some sleep.”

“Nat, you can stay as long as you need, you’re not alone in this.”

“I know.”

While Natasha had been driving to Iowa, Steve was arriving back in New York to get what he needed for tracking down Bucky. Before leaving D.C. he had stopped at Sam’s place, first to attempt to tell him he didn’t need to come along, but again Sam was adamant that he was in it for the long haul. 

“You need my help Steve. Where are we going first?”

“Germany.”

“Makes sense, it is where HYDRA started right?”


	10. Decompressing

Sam knew that something was bothering Steve when he arrived at his house early that morning. Of course Steve got right to planning the search for Bucky. There was definitely something off about the way Steve was acting, and Sam just chalked it up to how his friends’ life had gone to hell over the past few weeks. He could only hope that during their ten hour flight, Steve would find a way to open up. But after three hours of feeling Steve fidget constantly, Sam finally decided it was time to talk.

“So you want to talk about what’s bothering you, or can we play twenty questions.”

“What makes you think something’s bothering me?”

“Well, let’s start with the obvious, first off how your whole world came crashing down, you found out your best friend survived a fall from a train seventy years ago, only to be turned into a brain-washed assassin for the enemy you thought was defeated when you took an ice nap.”

“Yeah, that about sums it up. So next question?”

“Come on man, there’s more to it than that. I know we’ve only known each other a short while, but you know I see this all the time. I am a counselor at the V.A. after all.”

“It’s not PTSD, Sam.”

“Then what is it?”

Steve looks over at his friend, and the sadness in his eyes is a dead giveaway. Suddenly, the revelation hits him like a ton of bricks, and a helicarrier almost crushing him.

“It’s about Natasha isn’t it? What happened?”

“She left, that’s what happened.”

“Yeah, so did you. So not buying it. What’s the real problem.”

“She came to my hotel in D.C.”

“I still say you didn’t have to do that, you could have stayed at my place again.”

“She came to my hotel, I was so tired after packing up what was left in my apartment, I decided not to take a shower. When I came out of the bathroom she was sitting on the bed.”

“So you got to see her one more time. That should have been a good thing.”

“Should have been. She tried to set me up with Sharon again, and then I tried to get her talking about why she really came.”

“Which had nothing to do with Sharon I take it.”

“No, I tried to get her to talk to me. Tried to get her to open up. We talked about what she released on the web, not in detail, but it was there. She doesn’t feel like anyone can trust her because, and these are her words: my whole life is a lie, one built on another. She feels like she’s alone.”

“Uh-huh, so what did you do, what did you say?”

“I told her the truth. I told her I didn’t know what she’d done in her past, but all that mattered to me was the right here and now.”

“You told her that you love her; didn’t you?”

“Yeah, I bet you can guess what happened afterward.”

“Something along the lines of how you deserve better. Maybe she doesn’t think you two could ever work. If I may, would you like a piece of friendly advice?”

“Couldn’t hurt.”

“Give her time to think about it. You dropped a pretty big bombshell on her after all that went down. And you know she came to visit you in the hospital while you recovered.”

“Yeah, because you told me.”

“Right, here’s what I didn’t tell you. She wouldn’t leave. Not while you were out anyway. In fact I had to force her to leave by saying I wouldn’t. That was the day you woke up, while the Trouble Man soundtrack was playing on my IPOD.”

“You had to force her to leave?”

“Yeah, if you could have seen her, you would have done the same thing. She hadn’t slept, she refused to eat. Trust me man, she loves you. If she didn’t; she wouldn’t have risked her own health for yours. When she’s ready, you’ll see her again.”

“I wish I could believe that she loves me. If she does, she has a funny way of showing it.”

“You don’t know a thing about women do you?”

“I didn’t in the forties, seems that seventy years made it all the more complicated.”

“That’s an understatement.”

“It really is like Howard said, ‘once you think you know what’s going on in a woman’s head is the moment when your goose is well and truly cooked’.”

“Howard?”

“Howard Stark. That was good advice, and so was yours.”

The same morning Steve’s flight was taking off for Germany, Natasha woke up early and prepared to leave Clint’s farmhouse to do what she said, and work on a new cover identity. She knew Cooper and Lila were still asleep, but she didn’t expect to see Laura in the kitchen, waiting for her.

“Clint left me a note saying you were here. You’re already leaving Nat?”

“It’s not safe for me to stay, Laura. Even if no one else besides Fury knew you existed, my being here is still a danger to you. I think it’s best if…,”

“No. I bet Clint told you that you could stay as long as you need. At least stay until Cooper and Lila wake up. They’ve missed their Auntie Nat.”

“I still don’t think that’s wise, but I have a feeling you’re not going to take no for an answer.”

“You’re right, so how about I get you a cup of coffee, and you tell me what’s bothering you.”

“Coffee sounds good, but I’m surprised Clint didn’t tell you already.”

“I was asleep when he finally came in to bed, and he was already gone when I woke up. He’s got a lot of work to do to rebuild his covers as well.”

“How did, oh yeah all over the news. So what all has Clint told you about the Avengers?”

“That Mr. Stark and Dr. Banner are like teenagers when it comes to technology. He says that Thor is, well working with Thor is still surreal. You know what he says about you, and there’s not a man alive that he respects more than Captain Rogers, not even Fury held that distinction.”

As she came back with the coffee, Laura noticed how tense Natasha became at the mention of Steve. She’s known Natasha almost as long as she’s known Clint. And the way the spy looks down, avoiding eye contact, Laura knows something very big happened between her and Steve.

“So that’s why you’re here. I mean, I get that it had something to do with SHIELD collapsing around you, but I’ve never seen you like this, and it obviously has something to do with Captain Rogers.”

Natasha just nods in response. She’s already told Clint all of this, and she fears that repeating it all over again will just cause her to break out in tears again. The last thing she wants to do is show how sad she is, especially around Cooper and Lila. She already heard them coming down the stairs. When they got to the kitchen they both just stared for a moment.

“Auntie Nat!”

As soon as the realization that she was there sank in, both kids ran across the room to hug her. Natasha couldn’t help but smile, even it was for show. She knelt down with them and returned the embrace, but in the back of her mind still knew she could never have what Clint does. 

“Cooper, Lila, better let Auntie Nat go. You still need to eat breakfast and get ready for school. What would you like to eat?”

Both of them yelled out pancakes at the same time. Then they switched to eggs. When they both started arguing, Laura knew this was going to go on for hours unless she just made both. So while she was cooking, Lila went to her backpack and grabbed a drawing she had made to show Natasha.

“Auntie Nat! I drew this for you. Teacher said we had to draw a picture of a person we want to be like when we grow up, so I drew you.”

Natasha takes the offered picture, smiling at the little girl as she unfolds the paper. 

“I love it Lila, who’s that off to the other side of the picture?”

“That’s Daddy and Mommy. I added them after I got the picture back.”

“I’ll be sure to take good care of this. Thank you.”

When the kids were done eating breakfast, and sent off to their rooms to get dressed, Laura decided it was time to try and get Natasha to discuss what had happened with Steve. 

“Listen, I know you probably already told Clint what happened between you and Captain Rogers, and you’re more than likely not wanting to discuss it again. But whatever Clint told you, it might help to have a woman’s perspective.”

“Captain Rogers and I have been working together as partners at SHIELD for two years. It started off rocky, just like my partnership with Clint did. At first he was so infuriating; he was just so…so…”

“Good and noble?”

“Yeah, we were on a mission and he let an opponent escape so he could protect me from my opponent.”

“I’m sure he didn’t intend to let the enemy escape, but I’m glad he was looking out for your safety. God knows what Clint would have done if you hadn’t come back.”

“But I didn’t need him to protect me in that instance. I can take care of myself.”

“Nat, you know how he grew up, the way he was raised. Asking him not to protect you is like asking him not to breathe.”

“I know, and it took two years for us to come to an understanding, and we were finally working well together, at least until Fury gave me a mission, but didn’t tell St…Rogers about it.”

“And you didn’t tell him either.”

“I thought I’d be done with my mission and back helping with the rescue before he even knew about it.”

“So what happened?”

“He had to save my life again. But this time, I had thought just maybe he was beginning to trust me. I even took the blame for the screw-up. Cap walked away in anger.”

“I see, and for the first time you felt like you’d let him down. You…you actually cared what he thought, and wanted him to trust you.”

“Yeah, what’s wrong with me? I’ve never cared about what anybody thought, or whether or not they trusted me.”

“There is nothing wrong with you. Captain Rogers was indirectly helping you become a better person. I doubt he even knew he was doing it.”

“No, I don’t think that’s the case. Clint started helping me become a better person by not taking the shot, and bringing me to SHIELD.”

“Clint set you on the path, and you started to redeem yourself. That was all you, sure he saw someone worth saving, and I made a really great friend because he did that.”

“And you have no idea how thankful I am for your friendship. But then SHIELD started to collapse. Fury was dead, I knew who killed him. And St…Cap and I were on the run together. Then he protected me again from an explosion, and he carried me until I regained consciousness.”

“But you still didn’t think he trusted you.”

“Not until I asked him if it was down to me to save his life, if he would honestly trust me to do it.”

“And he said he would; didn’t he.”

Natasha nods again, but there’s still more she hasn’t said yet, Laura knows it. Letting all this out is hard for her, because the spy has always had to be closed off, and cold. It’s the way she was trained.

“So forgive me Nat, but I’m not seeing the problem here. He confirmed that he trusts you with his life. He obviously cares a great deal for you and…, oh.”

“You and Clint, you two really are perfect for each other. That’s what he said as well.”

“Now it makes sense, why every time you stop yourself when his name is about to come out, and you switch to calling him Cap. He told you he loves you.”

“But he shouldn’t love me. I’m not the type of woman he needs. I even tried to set him up with other women, I don’t know how many times. But he deserves more than I can give him.”

“Natasha, the type of woman he needs is not your decision to make. Okay, I haven’t met Captain Rogers yet, and I know that Clint hasn’t gotten to know him as well as he would like. But I do know that Clint didn’t exaggerate his level of respect for the man. The point is, if Captain Rogers fell in love with you, then he saw past everything you think you are, to who you really are.”

“That’s what he said as well. But I still can’t give him what he wants.”

“Do you know what he wants?”

“Well no, I guess I don’t.”

“Then you should ask him. And you should tell him how you feel in the process.”

“I don’t know how I feel.”

“Deep down, yes you do. You love him.”

“Even if I do, it’s too late. He’s probably halfway across the world right now. I’ll never get that chance again.”

Laura just shakes her head, she hates seeing her friend hurting like this. But before she can debate the point further, Cooper and Lila are downstairs, ready for school. Since Clint made their lunches the night before, they’re ready to go.

“So, I have to get the kids off to school, you want to come along?”

“No Laura; I should probably stay here, do some thinking.”

“All right, I hope you’ll at least be here for dinner.”

“That, I wouldn’t miss.”

Natasha did stay one more night, but all night her mind was elsewhere. Even sleep eluded her, so she found herself pacing, mainly around the guest bedroom so as not to wake anyone else. When two a.m. rolled around, she knew she couldn’t stay any longer. She quickly got dressed in the clothes she had arrived in, again grateful that Laura had washed them for her, and loaned her some of her clothes for a few days. Then she silently slipped out the front door, locking it behind her with the spare key Clint had given her. She knew she’d be back, but it was time to go confront her past, rebuild her covers, and try to look forward to the future. As she drove away, she looked back at the darkened farmhouse in her rearview mirror.

“Thanks again guys, for everything.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to everyone who has read, left comments and kudos, ya'll know who you are. I hope everyone is still enjoying taking this ride with Steve and Nat on their journey of self-discovery. Thanks most of all go out to YourLoyalReader, who was the first to comment on my story Back From a War. I sincerely appreciate everyone who takes the time to read and leave feedback and kudos. I really can't thank ya'll enough.


	11. Cold leads

Germany was a dead end. Sam and Steve spent a month hoping to find some sort of clue, some sign that would lead them to where Bucky might have gone. Every time they thought they were getting close, the trail would go cold. Their search included old abandoned HYDRA bases. Most of the sites had been reclaimed by the German government, and torn apart. Upon leaving Germany they made their way to Austria, and the site of Steve’s final battle with Skull before he crashed the Valkyrie in the ice. But there was nothing in that base to ever indicate Bucky had been there. Steve knew that base was statistically impossible, but he decided to search it anyway. By the third month in, Steve knew Sam was missing home. And since Italy, Russia and a rumor of a still operational HYDRA base in Cuba of all places didn’t pan out; they decided a two-pronged assault of the mission might yield better results. 

“Seriously Sam, you’ve been a great help to me these past few months. But I can’t keep asking you to do this.”

“Hey man, Captain America needed my help. I’m okay keeping this going.”

“Yeah, I know. But you’ve got a life back in D.C. Besides, I bet you’ve also got some old military contacts that could provide some insight as well.”

“So you want to split up. Not have me stop looking. As much as I hate to leave you alone out here, it’s not a bad idea. Putting some hard-core tech behind the search could be beneficial.”

“That was my thinking as well. And since I’m not as up to date on the modern American military, you’d be the better choice to handle that.”

“Can’t argue that logic, so I’ll call you when I get back to the States. You sure you’re going to be okay out here?”

“Yeah, I think Switzerland is going to be my next stop.”

“Why there?”

“It’s where Zola was from. What’s the old saying; keep your friends close and your enemies closer? Maybe if I can learn something about him, it will help with understanding his motivations.”

“So before I leave, what are you going to do about Natasha?”

Steve’s mood sours a bit. He’s got too much on his plate right now, and even though he won’t admit it, she’s been on his mind. The search for Bucky is his priority.

“There’s nothing to do. She walked out on me. And you said it yourself, she needs time, if she loves me, she’ll make the effort.”

“And I hope she does make the effort. So, I’ll be in touch. Remember, if you need me to come back, make the call.”

“I will Sam, and thanks.”

The two friends share a handshake and turn towards their respective terminals at the airport in Italy. As Steve is walking away, he thinks he spots a glimpse of red hair far to his left. He blinks a moment and the vision is gone. Silently he curses himself for believing she’d be in Italy, or even looking for him. His next stop is Switzerland, but not without a short layover in Paris.

After leaving Clint’s farm in Iowa, Natasha drove back to New York. The city wasn’t the ideal place for her to begin rebuilding her covers; it was just a stop along the way. From JFK International Airport she set her next three months of travel. Her goal was to track down any remnants of the Red Room, eliminating them, before they could get to her. During that time she stopped in England, staying there for a few weeks before moving on to France. Two months passed and she almost didn’t want to leave, but Russia was next. In that third month she and Steve missed each other by a matter of days, though they would never know it. She arrived just after he and Sam left for Italy.

“Maybe this search is a dead end. I haven’t seen anything to suggest that anyone from the Red Room is still out there. There’s nothing left for me to do here.”

She stayed a few more weeks in Russia just to confirm her theory. When nothing turned up, she booked a flight back to New York. Another two months would go by as Steve stayed in Switzerland, seeing where Zola grew up, learning about his life, and everything else he could before the scientist had been recruited by HYDRA. But there was nothing that could help Steve figure out the motivations behind turning Bucky into the Winter Soldier. Even though he spent his nights lost in his nightmares from the war, during his waking hours, Steve had trouble not thinking about Natasha. It was just before he was set to return to New York, that he realized he still wasn’t leading much of a personal life, putting his mission ahead of what he wants. Given that he’d spent five months circling the globe, he decided he needed to go home, but also needed to make a call.

“Carter, C.I.A.”

“I’m sorry; I think I have the wrong number.”

“Wait don’t hang up, your voice sounds familiar; Captain Rogers?”

“Steve Rogers, yes. Who are you?”

“It’s Sharon. How have you been?”

“Traveling the world, searching for a ghost. But I’ve hit a dead end. So I’m coming home.”

“Well how about you come to D.C. Does that offer for coffee still stand?”

“Yeah, if you don’t mind a little extra company. I owe a friend a favor from a few months ago. I promised I’d put in a good word for him with someone.”

“Nah, that’ll be okay. So where are you now?”

“Switzerland, should be back in two days.”

“Great, so it’s a date. Call me when you get to the airport, you know if you need a ride.”

“Thanks, but I’m sure I’ve already got a ride. I’ll see you then.”

After getting off the phone with Sharon, Steve made another call to Sam. He was all too happy to be Steve’s ride, especially when Steve told him that he was going to make good on his request.

“So you’re really going to put in a good word for me with the girl at the front desk of the V.A.”

“I said I would. It’s the least I can do for you slogging around Europe with me.”

“Yeah, but there’s a catch isn’t there?”

“It kind of has to be a double date. I…,”

“You got a hold of Natasha?”

“No. I got a hold of Sharon. She asked me out for coffee.”

Sam immediately slams on the brakes. After learning how far Steve had fallen in love with Natasha, to hear him say he’s got a date with another woman was a shock.

“Whoa, take a step back a minute. Natasha could be really good for you, are you just giving up on her?”

“No Sam, I’m doing what she asked me to do. I called Sharon, and I’m moving on. It’s been nearly six months, and Nat did once call me the world’s leading authority on waiting too long. So I’m not waiting anymore.”

“All right, if you’re sure about this, I won’t stop you. I just hope you know what you’re doing.”

Steve fell silent after that. In his heart, he doesn’t know what he wants to do. He still holds out hope that he and Natasha can be together, even though she was dead set against it. As promised he spoke to the woman Sam was interested in, building up the good qualities of his friend. Not that it mattered to her, he had Captain America’s recommendation so Sam could be 5’4” and bald, but if Captain America says he’s a good guy, it has to be true.

The double date was kept casual. It was also a block away from the C.I.A headquarters because Sharon could only get an hour away from her training. While Sam and his date seemed to hit it off, Steve was doing everything he could to show interest, but his heart just wasn’t in it. Even Sharon noticed, but waited until after the date was over to address the elephant in the room. 

“It was good to see you again Steve. Honestly, I didn’t think you trusted me all that much.”

“Well it was a lot to take in, you weren’t who I thought you were. And you were spying, sorry; providing protection on Fury’s orders.”

“Yeah, so what’s bothering you?”

“Huh?”

“Come on Captain, I’m a former SHIELD shadow. I’ve been trained to read people. Even if I wasn’t, I could tell you were miles away from here on our coffee date.”

“I’m sorry about that, there’s just something I can’t…,”

“Someone you can’t get off your mind. You don’t need to apologize. We just went out for coffee. I’m glad we got that, so if she’s who you really want to be with, you should find her.”

“It’s not that easy Sharon. She told me we couldn’t be together. And I know how this sounds, like I went out with you to get my mind off of her.”

“No, who would make that connection?”

Sharon’s tone is teasing, and not at all serious like he expected it to be. But the joke does help him to relax, and he smiles for the first time in what feels like forever.

“I’m not angry Steve. Look, I know it’s not easy for you to have a normal life as Captain America. But if she could give you that chance, grab hold of it, and don’t let go. I was already in a losing battle for your affections anyway. Given who my Great Aunt is.”

“Sorry, who is your Aunt?”

“You knew her in World War Two. Everyone in my family talks about what could have been the greatest love story in the history of the world.”

“I think Romeo and Juliet is…,”

“No Steve. Peggy Carter and Captain America. People say if you hadn’t been lost in the ice, you and Aunt Peggy would have gotten married, had kids and been America’s super couple.”

“Carter, I can’t believe I didn’t make the connection. Now I feel like an idiot. But super couple, I’m sure people were exaggerating that slightly.”

“Yeah, so I have to get back to my training. Anyway if you’re ever in D.C. and you need a friend other than Sam, look me up.”

“I’ll do that, thanks Sharon.”

That afternoon, Steve and Sam met up again. This time when Steve decided he was going to stay in a hotel Sam was having none of it. Aside from the fact that he had a spare room that was just ready for a visitor, he had received a few more leads from his contacts in the military. 

“So, we may have had some positive hits. Someone matching Bucky’s description was spotted in Japan about a month ago. Another report has him in Tripoli for two weeks. Here, this may be our best lead yet…”

“Hawaii? I’d say that doesn’t make sense, but nothing has really made any sense to me since I joined SHIELD. So, you up for another trip?”

“The Big Island, the waves, the luaus, oh and the…”

“I know what you’re thinking about Sam. Don’t lie.”

“So Captain America’s a mind reader now? Let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter leads in the events of Age of ULTRON, and we're nearing the end of this story.


	12. Reassembly

Since she returned from Russia last month, Natasha had all but given up on trying to reach Steve. She knew she only had herself to blame; even though she was still furious that he dropped the I love you bomb on her. And of course she still denied that she was in love with him. If he had any sense at all, he’d give up and just take her advice and call Sharon. So she did what she thought was right when she returned to Avengers Tower. She got back to work, she used Tony’s vast resources to cover her tracks, even managed to cobble together a couple of new identities. But what she thought would be the best idea popped into her head when she ran into Bruce.

“Hey Doc.”

“Natasha, when did you get back?”

“To the States; a month ago. To the tower; a couple of days ago, you would have noticed if you weren’t locked up in your lab.”

“Yeah, sorry about that. Tony and I have been working on something pretty big.”

“Can I get a hint as to what it is?”

“Not yet, but it has something to do with the Hulk if he ever gets out of control.”

“Speaking of the other guy, I was thinking back to the incident on the helicarrier.”

“Come on Natasha that was three years ago. I said I was sorry.”

“Not what I was thinking about. I spent some time in Russia recently, and I remembered something the KGB did to, for lack of a better term, pacify students of the Black Widow project.”

“Oh yeah, what did they do?”

“The instructors developed what they called lullabies. These lullabies triggered a calming response whenever a trainee got overly hostile or tried to escape.”

“Uh-huh, and how do you know all this?”

“Let’s not worry about the how I know it, as much as the fact that I do know it. I didn’t think about it on the helicarrier for the whole running away from him. But I think if we tried it, it might work.”

Bruce was hesitant at first. He knew that if they tried this, Natasha could be putting herself in serious danger if the other guy got extremely out of control. But Tony knew that anything was worth a shot until Veronica was complete. So the first few attempts didn’t work very well, but Thor was there to subdue the Hulk when he did start smashing. It took a few months, but Natasha finally found the right combination of words to get Bruce back. They tested it on the training levels with Thor making Hulk just angry enough to lose control. 

“Wow Widow. I didn’t know anyone could control the Gamma bomb.”

“Well; be grateful I found a way, Stark. This way we can get Bruce back if something goes wrong.”

“No doubts that I’m grateful. But I’ll still need to finish developing Veronica for the worst case scenario.”

“And what or who is Veronica?”

“Hey, I haven’t seen or heard from Spangles in quite a while. You know where he’s been?”

Natasha noticed the immediate change of subject Tony went for. The question angered her, and she didn’t even bother to hide her emotions on the subject.

“I’m not Steve’s keeper Tony! He’s a big boy, he’s free to go wherever he wants to! Hell, he’s probably still trying to hunt down the Winter Soldier. That’s the last thing I knew of his intentions!”

“Whoa, chill out Red. I just..., you two seemed to be working well as partners. I would have thought…”

“I don’t care what you thought! You want to know where the Boy Scout is, you should try and contact him yourself.”

As Natasha storms out of the training room, Clint is walking in. When she doesn’t even greet him, he knows how pissed she is. He also knows to leave her alone when she’s this upset. When he sees Tony, he can guess what got to her.

“You know she could kill you fifteen ways with her thumb. It’s not wise to piss her off.”

“I wasn’t trying to Legolas. I just asked her about Rogers.”

“Do yourself a favor, don’t ask her about him again. It’s a sensitive subject.”

“You know something; don’t you.”

“It’s classified Stark. Leave it at that.”

Both Tony and Bruce were dumbfounded at both Natasha and Clint’s dismissal of what happened and where Steve is. When Clint put his ear buds in, and started his target practice, they knew they weren’t going to get any more answers. After leaving; Bruce went back to the labs, and Tony had to answer a call from Maria.

“Hey Boss, I’ve just gotten word from some of my contacts. We have a possible twenty on Loki’s scepter.”

“Fantastic. Where?”

“Some country called Sokovia. I’m working on verifying the info now. I’ll let you know when I have something concrete.”

“Good, and find Rogers. If we get a positive hit, we’ll need Captain America.”

Three days passed as Maria traced the energy signature and the coordinates of Sokovia. While her tracer program was running she managed to get a location on Steve and Sam. When his phone starts ringing, Steve pulls it out of his pocket and sees the name.

“Who is it, Natasha?”

“No Sam, it’s Hill. Maria, what do you got?”

“I’ve got a possible twenty on Loki’s scepter. Tony requested that I find you.”

“Well you found me. I’m still out searching for…,”

“I take it you haven’t found him yet. Is Falcon with you?”

“Yeah he’s right here. Does Tony need us both?”

“Tony said you. Sorry Steve, I know how much your search for Bucky means to you. But…,”

“I know, this takes precedence. If I can get a flight, I should be there tomorrow.”

“You know we could just send the Quinjet. Maximum travel time there and back would be four hours.”

“I know, but with public opinion on the Avengers and SHIELD the way it is, better stick to conventional methods. If Stark asks why, just tell him to keep his pants on. I know that’s difficult for him to do sometimes.”

“You want me to tell the playboy to keep his pants on? You know how that’s going to sound right?”

“Yeah, scratch that. He might think you’re coming on to him. Just tell him the flight is nine hours. I’ll be there tomorrow.”

“Copy that, see you soon.”

“Well Sam, looks like my time of searching for Bucky is over. Avengers priorities have to be my focus.”

“Hawaii was a dead end, no reason to believe Tripoli and Japan won’t be. Say the word.”

“Sam, you know I can’t ask you too…,”

“I’m doing it man. I’ll be back in D.C. checking out what my contacts have learned.”

“Well, keep me updated.”

“I will, but you have to do something for me. Talk to Natasha. Just don’t tell her you went out with Sharon.”

“I’ll try, but I’m not holding out hope that she’ll talk to me. Even if she does…, no she’s not going to talk to me.”

For the second time since they began their search, Sam and Steve were parting ways. Each dead end has been more frustrating than the last, but they’re both determined to find Bucky. As Steve was making arrangements for his flight, Clint was in with Natasha, being her best friend.

“Nat, you know Tony suffers from an extreme case of foot in mouth disease. Don’t let him get to you.”

“But he acts like I should know every detail of Rogers’ life. Just because he and I were partners doesn’t mean I know everything.”

“That’s not the way he meant it. Cap just hasn’t checked in for some time.”

“Yeah so, Cap’s a big boy, he can take care of himself. I’m sure he wouldn’t appreciate it if Tony was hounding him day and night. It’s not like Steve feels it’s important enough to check in with us, or answer a call.”

“So that’s what this is all about.”

“What are you talking about?”

“When you left in the early morning hours after dinner, I didn’t question it. I’m sorry Nat, I should have been more attentive.”

“You don’t have anything to be sorry for. But I still don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Steve, either you stopped trying to call him, or you called him and left a message, and he didn’t respond. Did I hit the mark?”

“You’ve never missed a mark. I stopped trying. It’s best that if he comes back, he and I go back to a colleague relationship.”

“Bullshit Nat. Why won’t you just admit to yourself that you love him. You put the mission ahead of everything. He puts everyone else ahead of the mission, and the mission before himself. I don’t understand why the both of you have this insane need to not have a personal life.”

“I thought you didn’t know him that well.”

“I know him well enough to see that a personal life isn’t something he’s chasing. The first thought I had he might actually be trying was when you told me what he said.”

Natasha hits Clint with a death glare as if to say don’t remind me. He knows that’s his cue to leave, but he hasn’t finished with this yet. If his best friend has resolved not to talk to Steve, then he’s going to. Meanwhile, Tony is getting an update on the search for the scepter.

“What have you got Maria?”

“Sokovia. That’s where the scepter was taken after the Fridge was taken down. It’s currently in the hands of one Baron Von Strucker.”

“So who is he?”

“Shouldn’t be a surprise that he’s HYDRA. SHIELD had our eyes on him for a few years, but we could never get anything concrete on him until now.”

“Good, get me everything you can on his base of operations. And what’s the status on Capsicle?”

“Booking a flight back from Hawaii. He was there chasing his own lead on HYDRA. Says he should be back tomorrow.”

"Why didn’t he ask for a Quinjet? We could use him here today, not tomorrow.”

“He knew you’d ask that, and he had a good point. Public opinion on the Avengers is shaky, and on SHIELD, downright hostile. He felt conventional means were the better option.”

“Well if he wants to get mobbed by all the passengers on his flight, that’s his choice. Soon as he gets here, we plan out the attack, and we move.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So as I said this chapter was the lead in to the events of Age of ULTRON. I've already written some canon divergence, Dr. Kafka and the Steve/Nat hotel scene. I kept the events of Winter Soldier as canon, because the portrayals of Steve and Natasha were perfect in that movie. The next chapter will have a major divergence from AOU because as a fan of both Cap and Widow while I was growing up, I felt like some of what was done, was out of character for them. As for Bruce/Nat, I'd like to throw that whole thing out of the window. I was not a fan. So if anything, the way I write that will be from Steve's perspective and the declaration of love he made to her back in chapter 9. I didn't intend to post two chapters today, but I had to get both of them out. Thanks for reading, and as always, I appreciate the kudos and feedback. Oh yeah, I may have missed it in AOU, but I don't think they addressed where the lullabies came from. I could be wrong, but this has my take on that, could have been a Red Room tactic for the Black Widow initiates.


	13. Fractured

Steve arrived back in New York early the next morning. It was three a.m. so no one was awake yet. Since he hadn’t been back in nearly a year, JARVIS had to direct the elevator to his new floor. The room was immaculate, with all the tech Tony decided would bring the old man to terms with living in the twenty-first century. All the gadgets kind of made him uncomfortable. After a quick change of clothes, he knew there was one floor he needed to go to.

“JARVIS, can you get me to the training levels?”

“Of course Captain Rogers. Would you like me to alert Agent Romanoff or Agent Barton, do you need a sparring partner?”

“No thanks JARVIS. I prefer to have this time to myself.”

“As you wish Sir. Oh, Mr. Stark also asked me to inform you that he has designed a new uniform for you. He wants your final approval on the design as soon as you can give it.”

“What did he do? Equip it with boot thrusters and an integrated head’s up display in the helmet?”

“I’m not quite sure Captain. Mr. Stark doesn’t tell me everything.”

“Which means he told you, but specifically requested that you not tell me. All right JARVIS, tell him I’ll meet him in the armory at 0800.”

JARVIS agreed to deliver the message, and Steve got into his workout routine. He spent three hours in the training room, breaking three heavy bags in succession. When he finished he was too wired to sleep, so he returned to his floor and spent the next two hours reviewing the files that Maria had uploaded to all personnel on Sokovia and Baron Von Strucker. 

“I can’t believe there’s another Strucker in HYDRA. Like with the Skull’s daughter, I just can’t seem to escape these ghosts from my past. Hopefully aside from Bucky, this will be the last time I have to.”

When JARVIS alerted him to the time, he left for the armory. It was 8:15 when he arrived, and Tony was still not there. While waiting, he took a look around at what the billionaire had been working on. There were tables marked off for each member of the Avengers. Clint’s bow had been upgraded for some new arrows, Natasha had a set of batons and new Widow’s bite bracelets. But when he came to his table, the first thing that caught his attention was the round item, wrapped carefully in a blanket.

“He didn’t…it’s been almost a year since…,”

At that moment Tony comes in, still groggy and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

“It’s too early for this Rogers. But I’m glad you could find time in your busy schedule of hunting for the Winter Soldier to grace us with your presence.”

“Stark…,”

“All right, all right, so go ahead. Take a look under the blanket. I think that’s something you’ve been missing.”

“You did find my shield. I thought this was lost at the bottom of the Potomac.”

“Yeah I found it, but I’m surprised you didn’t just go back and dive in after it. Take a look at the back.”

Steve flips the shield over, and the leather straps that used to be there are missing. 

“What did you do, Tony? Why did you mess with the shield your father made for me?”

“I made it better. Just say it Steve, you’re afraid of anything new and modern.”

“New and modern isn’t the problem. I’ve spent hours training with my shield, and any changes it to it, could alter the trajectory in flight.”

“I planned for that; here wrap this around your arm.” 

“What’s it for?”

“It’s part of your new uniform. I just have to have the tower droids connect it.”

Steve wraps the metal band around his arm. When he has it secure, Tony takes the shield to the other side of the room.

“Okay, now I just activate my remote control, and…”

Suddenly the shield flies back towards Steve, and he gets him arm in place just as it reaches him.

“…the magnets do the job of bringing your shield back to you.”

Steve doesn’t admit it, but he’s impressed. They spend the next hour going over the new Captain America uniform, and nostalgia kind of sets in for Steve. The design is almost like that of his tactical uniform from the war. When everything was ready, all the Avengers met in the situation room to discuss the mission.

“So we’ve got confirmation on the location of Loki’s scepter. It’s currently in a small Eastern European nation called Sokovia. Through her contacts, Maria was able to learn that HYDRA took it during the fall of SHIELD last year. This has been our best lead so far, after hitting dead end after dead end. Wheels up in one hour.”

As he listed the mission directives for each Avenger, Steve couldn’t help but notice Natasha sitting in the back, but not once did she make eye contact. He was hurt and worried, but he knew all of that had to be put aside, the mission was the priority. The retrieval of the scepter was a success, despite Clint’s injury and being attacked by the twins, Pietro and Wanda. When the team returned to the tower, Clint’s injury was healed by Dr. Cho, one of Tony’s colleagues. Later that day, Tony had the bright idea to throw a party, but keeping what he and Bruce had discovered about the scepter a secret. While Natasha was behind the bar, Steve had just finished talking with Sam when Clint came over.

“So, you told her you love her, huh?”

“I don’t think this is really time to have this discussion Clint.”

“Then what would be the time? When we’re all dying? Come on Cap, you’ve been keeping an eye on her all night. For some reason, she hasn’t noticed, which is unlike her. Even in the mission briefing, neither of you made eye contact.”

“The mission was the priority. I couldn’t let my feelings get in the way. And no, she hasn’t noticed, for one reason she doesn’t want to be with me. And for another, it looks like she made her choice.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Clint notices that Bruce took a seat in front of the bar, and was currently talking with Natasha. 

“Don’t you think you’re reading too much into that? While you were gone, she found a way to help subdue the Hulk if he ever got out of control.”

“Maybe that’s all it is, but she’s never smiled like that for me.”

“Steve, trust me. She’s not interested in Banner. She’s in love with you. Here’s the problem. Nat’s scared, she doesn’t know how to handle love, especially when it could be for real. I know you two worked together for two years, and you probably got to know her pretty well, but I’m telling you, she knows she won’t feel anything with him.”

“So that’s why she ran away? I trust you Clint, but not buying it. She’s one of the bravest people I know. She deserves to be happy, and clearly I’m not the guy. So if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go give Banner some advice.”

After Steve walks away, Clint shakes his head, he still doesn’t understand how the two people he knows and trusts with his life can be so perfect for each other, but so stubborn at the same time. When Steve is out of ear shot, he says one last thing, the soldier would never hear.

“You both deserve to be happy.”

After Natasha finished her conversation with Bruce, Sam walked up to the bar, looking to check in on how she’s doing. 

“Well, I didn’t expect this little bird to fly in our window.”

“Yeah, it’s good to see you again too, Natasha. How have you been?”

“Surviving. So, anyone special in your life now?”

“Not really, Steve put in a good word for me with someone, but it didn’t really pan out the way I had hoped.”

“It could have, if you hadn’t been globe-trotting with him.”

“I know I’m risking bodily injury here, but can I ask you a question?”

“Not if it’s about Steve, and why he and I can’t be together. Please tell me he didn’t ask you to come over here and talk to me.”

“No, this one is all me. I came to talk as a friend. I have to say, I’m worried about the both of you. You haven’t said one word to each other all night.”

“There’s a reason for that Sam. He’s avoiding me. I don’t blame him, after all I’m the one who walked out after he said…,”

“That he loves you. Trust me, he’s doing anything but avoiding you. Giving you space, time to think. But he’s not avoiding you.”

“So you think I’m avoiding him? That’s not the case Wilson. And if we’re going to go there, I’ll tell you what I told him. He deserves better than me, the normal life he wants, I can’t give it to him. So you go back over there, and tell him to call Sharon.”

“I shouldn’t be the one to tell you this, but he did call Sharon.”

“Good…,”

“He did it because you wanted him too. She could see he wasn’t interested. He told me she told him to go after the woman he really wants.”

“Then he needs to find someone else.”

At that, Natasha turned away, inviting no more room for discussion. As the party wound down, most of the guests left, and the Avengers, Maria, and Rhodey all gathered around the coffee table, and as Steve expected, Natasha sat as far away from him as humanly possible. Soon enough, Thor challenged the others to lift Mjolnir. All of them failed, but Steve was the only one of them able to make the enchanted hammer move just a bit. 

“I have a much simpler explanation, you’re not worthy.”

“How could any of you be worthy?”

That moment was when ULTRON walked in. Suddenly everyone was on their feet. The recreation room was overwrought with the sounds of battle. Natasha and Maria had grabbed their guns. Steve went after the drones with his shield while Thor took several swings with Mjolnir. But the Avengers were outmatched thanks to Tony’s creation. In the end ULTRON and one remaining drone flew off with the scepter.

“What was that about killing someone?”

“There was no else in the tower.”

“Yes there was.”

The revelation that ULTRON had killed JARVIS hit them all hard. In a race across the world they followed ULTRON to South Africa, learning that he was after vibranium. As soon as the team was separated, Wanda began using her magic to make the all of them see their pasts, Natasha had a vision of her time in the Red Room, Steve got to have his dance with Peggy. Thor saw an apocalyptic scene of Asgard, with Heimdall stating you sent us to Hel.

Clint was in the middle of battle when Wanda came up behind him, but before she could use her power, he stuck a Taser arrow to her forehead.

“Done the whole mind control thing, not a fan.”

After Pietro helped her escape, there was one last Avenger to confront. This one would prove to be the most problematic, and cause the most destruction.

“I want the big one.”

Suddenly the Hulk was on a rampage, savagely tearing through anything in his path. Tony was the first to see the destruction, and had to enact the contingency plan he and Bruce had been working on.

“Veronica, help me out.”

When the battle ended, Clint knew the only place they could go that would be safe. No one was speaking to each other, and it seemed as if the Avengers had been shattered. The farm house in Iowa, complete with a family was a surprise to all of them, except Natasha. As they began to regroup, Steve and Tony were out front chopping wood, and having a not so subtle argument.

“I don’t trust a guy without a dark side.”

“Well maybe you haven’t seen it yet.”

As their argument got more intense, Steve knew he wasn’t getting through to Tony. His frustration boiled over, and he ripped a chunk of wood in half with his bare hands. 

“Every time someone tries to win a war before it starts, innocent people pay the price. Every time.”

Inside, Natasha briefly watched the argument between Steve and Tony. In her heart, she knew that what Clint had said, what Laura had said, even Sam, all of it made sense. But she couldn’t shake the terror that came from the vision of her time in the Red Room. All of it convinced her to ignore her feelings, and keep her clinging to the belief that she would never be good enough for Steve. So she made the safe choice, pursuing Bruce while he pushed her away.

“Mr. Stark, I hate to ask, but we’re having some trouble with our tractor, could you take a look?”

As Tony walked away, Steve felt like someone was watching him. Turning towards the window, he only caught a quick glimpse of Natasha’s red hair as she walked away. Silently he decided that it was time to do what Fury had told him after the first time he and Natasha were partnered up. He put the mission first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not my greatest chapter, and the hardest for me to write personally. Mostly because this is where in the movie the characterization of Natasha started to throw me off. There were a lot of ways they could have done her justice, and I just didn't feel it from this point on. Forgive me if the chapter is not well written, because I had to draw on AOU for this one, and I apologize.


	14. Intervention

The next time the Avengers would confront ULTRON was in South Korea. He had outgrown the assistance of the twins, and while he was preparing to download his consciousness into a new body, Wanda was able to read his mind and discover his true plan. He wasn’t just trying to eliminate the Avengers; he wanted to exterminate humanity. Steve, Clint and Natasha arrived to retrieve the new synthetic body. The three of them worked well together, especially because Clint was there. While Steve was fighting a drone, Natasha was doing what she could to keep their enemy from taking the body back. She was successful, but got captured in the process.

“Cap, where’s Natasha?”

Steve didn’t answer. He knew she could take care of herself, so he kept to the mission. Even though in his heart he wanted to go and rescue her, ULTRON was still a threat that had to be dealt with. On the ground he confronted Pietro and Wanda. He believed that Tony was going to fix what he’d done. Wanda was able to convince him otherwise from what she had seen in her vision about Tony.

Natasha was missing for two days after ULTRON captured her. But she’s never been a damsel in distress. While she was locked in her cell, she found a way to send out a Morse code signal to Clint, alerting the Avengers that ULTRON was in Sokovia in the HYDRA base. After that everything seemed to explode, Thor returned after seeing his vision expanded on in the Waters of Sight. When he got to the tower, Steve, Wanda and Pietro were fighting with Tony. He and Bruce had just finished uploading JARVIS into the new synthetic body, and a lightning strike from Thor brought new life to the Vision.

“The stone from the scepter is one of six Infinity Stones. These stones are the most powerful objects in existence. That’s what I saw in my vision.”

In Sokovia, the Avengers confront ULTRON for the final battle. While they fight his army, Bruce rescues Natasha, but the team doesn’t need him, they need the Hulk. During the battle, Steve and Natasha were working well together just like when they were on the run. The serum and his enhanced abilities enabled him to fight hand to hand with one of the drones, and he threw his shield off to his partner so she had an equal chance of defeating her own enemy drone. The saving grace arrived in the nick of time as the SHIELD helicarrier emerged from the clouds to begin evacuating the innocent civilians, and War Machine to help turn the tide of the battle. But the fight was not without casualties. Clint went to rescue a child who had been separated from his mother. Even though ULTRON had stolen the Quinjet and was preparing to fire down on the Avenger, Pietro sacrificed his life to save Clint and the boy. 

“You didn’t see that coming.”

Wanda felt her brother’s death, and let out a scream of pain. Enraged, she abandoned her post and destroyed ULTRON’s primary body. When the city began falling again, Tony and Thor were able to overload the machine, and shatter the landmass. The war ended, and the Hulk left knowing that he was a danger to everyone, including Natasha. She never said a word, but she knew that Bruce couldn’t give her the normal life; the same way she adamantly told Steve she couldn’t give him a normal life. 

A short month later the new team of Avengers was formed; Steve and Natasha were doing their best to stay professional, even though she had realized in her heart that she did love him. Likewise he had slowly come to terms with the two of them only being able to run the team as partners. Clint had retired, but after Nathaniel was born he took some time to come see her at the new base, bringing Cooper and Lila, so they could see their Auntie Nat. Even though Hill was assigned to babysit the kids, a task she was slightly unhappy with, she still ended up enjoying their company.

“So, how are you holding up?”

“As well as can be expected, I still feel like Bruce leaving was my fault.”

“Nat, you have to let that go. He knew the danger he presented, and you know it too. You were the only one to find a way to help control the Hulk. But his leaving was not your fault. And I still know that what’s really bothering you has nothing to do with Bruce.”

This time she doesn’t argue, she can’t. She had been lying to herself for over a year, even when her best friends and Steve’s had been telling her what they were seeing all along. Being torn between the man she really wanted, and the one who would never challenge her, was a difficult experience. 

“So you, Laura, and Sam were right. I love Steve. Maybe I even knew it before I came to see you in Iowa. I just didn’t know how someone as good and decent, as kind as he is could ever want to be with me. He deserves so much better. I still can’t give him the normal life he wants. I can’t be what he needs.”

“Nat, you’re the only one still telling yourself that. At least you were. But it’s the opposite with Steve, if you could have seen the look in his eyes like I did.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Do you think he’s been avoiding you for the past year? Can you honestly tell yourself that his feelings for you would just go away? He didn’t say anything, and anyone else without my keen observation skills would have missed it. He was tearing himself apart when you were captured. It killed him to not be the one who rescued you. And I’ll admit, I wanted to beat some sense into him when he put his issues with Tony at the forefront. The bottom line is this, he saw you at the party with Bruce. He thought that you had made your choice. Hell, he even went to Bruce to give him advice. Cap was completely, absolutely going to let you go, just so you would be happy.”

While Clint was trying in vain to convince Natasha to just go to Steve and tell him how she feels, Steve was with Sam in the training room sparring. The session was amiable, and a test of their skills. Sam was learning new methods of defense from Steve, while the latter was honing his skills on modern combat. The sparring match came close to a real fight when Sam mistakenly asked Steve when he and Natasha were just going to stop hiding from each other. Suddenly Steve was fighting harder, not pulling punches. It wasn’t until Sam was down, shouting at Steve to snap out of it that the soldier started to calm down.

“Sam, I’m sorry.”

“No, I’m the one who should be sorry. Bringing Natasha up was a mistake. You want to talk about it?”

“There’s nothing to say. She chose Bruce, he left her. She was right; she and I would never work.”

Steve turns away to start cleaning up the workout mats, and Sam just shakes his head. He knew Clint was going to talk to Natasha, maybe he had better luck. Twenty minutes later, the two men were meeting in Sam’s quarters.

“Is there any chance you were able to convince Natasha to talk to Steve?”

“No, she’s too stubborn. She thinks he won’t want her after she walked out on him.”

“They’re both too stubborn. But there has to be a way…,”

“I think I’ve…," and suddenly it's as if a lightbulb went off in Clint's head. "Sam when is the next Avengers briefing with Fury?”

“About two hours from now, why?”

“Because we’re going to break into Steve’s quarters.”

“You mean you are. But I don’t understand what good that would do.”

“Rumor had it; Steve was seeing a psychiatrist after he was thawed out, on Fury’s suggestion. If I can find a card for her, maybe I can get her here, and she can help them work this out.”

“That’s crazy Clint. There’s no way that’s going to work.”

“You got a better idea? I’m open to suggestions.”

Sam is dumbfounded. He really doesn’t have a better idea, and all their efforts have failed. The extreme confusion in his eyes and the way his jaw clenched at the thought, which was not only a breach of trust, Clint noticed and tried to reassure the new Avenger.

“Sam, you don’t have to be involved in this. Not if you don’t want to. But I can’t sit around here or at my house, waiting and wondering if they’ll ever work this out. The two of them deserve to be happy, and I know that they make each other happy.”

After a long deliberation, Sam knows there is no other way. He’ll be in the briefing, so he will have no direct involvement in entering Steve’s quarters. He hasn’t known Clint that long, but the other man instantly earned his respect being willing to go so far to help their friends.

“All right, I’m in. What’s the plan if you find this psychiatrist’s card?”

“I call her, and get her on her way here. I’ll tell Steve I want him to meet me in the training room. You’ll do the same with Nat. They’ll arrive, and we’ll lock them in the room.”

“How do you intend to do that?”

“I’ll over-ride the security codes from the outside, when we have them in there.”

“Natasha’s a master hacker, again how…”

“Please, Tony designed the security system here. I know she can hack his programs. It’s child’s play for me to do the same. I’ve got an ace in the hole though; Nat and I had a bet once that she couldn’t get through any program I wrote. Kind of a test, I was her SHIELD liaison when she first joined. She got through every one of them, but I’ve got one she’ll never see coming.”

“Worth a shot. I hope it works. Because if it doesn’t, we’ll both be in the infirmary for months if she gets out.”

Another hour passed as they worked out the rest of the details of their plan. When the time came for the briefing, Clint hung back in Sam’s quarters out of sight. When it was clear no one was going to walk past, the archer snuck out and made directly for Steve’s quarters, he saw it on the walk through earlier that day. It was easier for him to get into the room than he had thought, Steve’s code was his birthday. After rummaging through desk drawers and a filing cabinet, Clint found what he was looking for. Sticking out of the top of a notebook, was the card. With very little time left, he made the call.

“Dr. Ashley Kafka’s office. How may I help you?”

“Yeah, umm I’m calling on behalf of Captain Steve Rogers. He’d like to set up an appointment with Dr. Kafka for this afternoon, say around three o’ clock?”

“Give me a moment, and I’ll ask the Doctor if her calendar is clear.”

Five minutes pass while Clint waits. He knows everything depends on this, and he nervously paces. When the receptionist comes back on, he is intensely relieved to hear that Kafka is able to take the appointment.

“Sir, Dr. Kafka says she can meet with the Captain at that time this afternoon. He just needs to come to the office, and she will be waiting.”

“Actually Captain Rogers had a request. He was wondering if she could come to him. I have the address, and secrecy is key. If the press were to find out he is seeing a psychiatrist, they would have a field day with it.”

“He’s been to her office before. Why should now be any different?”

“Most of this is classified. So I can’t give you details, but he did get caught leaving her office once before. The Captain would prefer that not happen again.”

“Okay, can you hold one more time please?”

Another five minutes go by, and Clint is beginning to think this isn’t going to work. He fears are assuaged when Dr. Kafka herself answers the phone.

“This is Dr. Kafka. Sir, are you there?”

“Yes, Doctor. Since you’re speaking to me instead of your receptionist, I can guess you’ve agreed to come see Captain Rogers where he requested?”

“I have, but first I have to know who you are. I need to know if this some kind of prank.”

“No Ma’am. This isn’t a prank. My name is Clint Barton, and I’m doing this on behalf of Steve. I’m concerned about him, and so far you’re the only person who has been able to help him reconcile himself to this new time.”

“He told you about me?”

“Not you specifically, but the psychiatrist he was seeing. Ma’am he’s a friend. And I can’t stand to see him hurting.”

Dr. Kafka was skeptical about this call, but she did tell Steve at their first session that she couldn’t stand to see good people in pain. So she agreed to come, and got the address of the building. She also agreed to Clint’s request of not telling Steve he had made the call. She was only to say she had been asked to consult on the condition of anonymity, and would be required to sign a non-disclosure agreement.

After the team briefing ended, Sam fulfilled his part of the plan and asked Natasha to meet him in the training room in one hour. Clint caught up with Steve, and asked the same. They were both confused at the request, but didn’t really think anything of it. Natasha thought Sam wanted to spar with her, and Steve thought that Clint had a sparring session in mind also. After the hour passed, Steve arrived first, to find Clint not there. He was actually early, so he decided to give his team-mate a few more minutes. Fifteen minutes passed and when he heard the door open, he was ready to begin the session.

“About time you got here Barton, I was beginning to think…,” Steve paused as he turned around and saw a pair of confused green eyes staring back at him, framed by red hair.

“What are you doing here Rogers? I’m supposed to be meeting Sam to spar.”

“No Natasha, I’m supposed to be meeting Clint here to spar.”

Both of them turn as they hear the door close. Standing outside the glass paneling they can see Clint and Sam, both sporting a smug grin. At first, Natasha isn’t sure what Clint and Sam are up too, until she sees the former working on the control panel. She instantly knows what he’s doing and rushes to the door, trying to prevent it with the emergency panel on her side of the door.

“Clint, you know that’s not going to work. Every security code you’ve ever written, I’ve been able to crack. This time is going to be no different.”

“Then try it Nat. I’ve finally found the one code that can’t be cracked, can’t be over-ridden, and this time, you won’t get through.”

Natasha scoffed at Clint’s confidence that he could keep her locked up. She believed that he couldn’t write a code that could stop her, and when she broke through, she was going to wipe that smug grin off his face, and break his jaw so he wouldn’t be able to smile for a long time. She started by trying a simple bypass, but the system kicked her out. She continued running bypasses around the code, but every time she was caught and forced out. After fifteen minutes, she tried a Trojan horse, but even that was blocked and now Clint was shaking his head in an emphatic no, and Natasha was so looking forward to breaking his jaw, in addition to other various bones. She pounded on the door for fifteen minutes, until she noticed Steve wasn’t there beside her, also trying to get them out.

“Are you just going to sit there, or are you going to do something Rogers?”

Steve ignored the anger in her tone, and the fury in her stance that was threatening to explode. He just sat there calmly, and explained his motivations.

“I am doing something. I’m waiting for you to calm down.”

“Fat chance of that happening. In case you haven’t noticed, our two friends are out there laughing their asses off at us.”

“I noticed, but it doesn’t look like they’re laughing. It’s obvious that they’re not going to let us out of here until we’ve discussed whatever it is they think we have to talk about.”

“I can’t believe you! How are you not angry that we’re locked in here?”

Steve finally looked up at Natasha when she accused him of not being angry. He keeps calm in the face of every dangerous situation he finds himself in, because not doing so could jeopardize the mission, and any innocent people caught in the crossfire. He’s had every right to be angry, but he’s kept it under control. He wanted to be angry at Rumlow for following him, and Fury for making it happen. He couldn’t be angry at the former for just following orders. He wasn’t even angry when Brock revealed that he was HYDRA, just numb because he began to think his sacrifice of a seventy year ice nap was for nothing. But now, Natasha calling him out was the last straw, and he erupted in a fit of rage, blue eyes flashing with all of his emotion as he got to his feet.

“You think I’m not angry! I don’t like being locked up in here anymore than you do! Every day of my life I’ve had to control my emotions! When I was bullied! When I was denied enlistment four times! You really want to see me angry Romanoff, fine! I was angry when you walked out on me after I told you I love you! Not just because you walked out, but because I did nothing to stop you! Even when I did what you asked and called Sharon, I was angry at myself because I felt like I was giving up on you! I was angry when I saw you flirting with Bruce, wishing I was in his place. You had all my feelings for you, and you didn’t even give a damn that I was hurting having to watch all that!”

“What about when I was captured huh? If you love me so damn much, why didn’t you come after me?! Why did I have to spend two days locked in a cage?! Clint told me you were tearing yourself apart over that, you could have done something, but no! Bruce came to rescue me, at least he was willing to risk his life!

“You think I didn’t want to come rescue you?! You have no idea how badly I was tearing myself apart over you being captured and not knowing where you were, or if you were even alive! But I did what you wanted me to, and didn’t play the White Knight! Hell, I even did what Fury wanted me to and put the mission first!”

While they were arguing, Clint and Sam had noticed the muffled shouting coming from behind the doors. They were beginning to think they had made a mistake with their plan, and were startled when Fury and Wanda walked up.

“What the hell is going on here?”

Fury’s voice boomed out around them with his question. The sound nearly scared Clint and Sam to death. Clint was about to release the code, until Wanda put her hand over his, and shook her head. She caught sight of Steve and Natasha first.

“I asked you a question Barton, Wilson. What is going on?”

“We uh…, we locked Steve and Nat in the training room, so they’d resolve the tension and the problems between them. I figured if they got this out…,”

“Don’t say anything else Barton. I’m glad someone had the guts to do this. It’s about time that they got called out on the fact that they love each other.”

“Thank you Sir.”

“But, there will be serious consequences for the both of you after this. Especially since one Dr. Ashley Kafka is here, and she now knows where the Avengers training facility is.”

The Doctor walks up as Fury and Wanda turn the other way. She’s amazed at the size of the compound, but she’s here on business. When she sees the scene going on behind the doors, she’s mortified at the angry gestures and though the voices are muffled, the obvious screaming match.

“How long have they been going at this?”

“A good twenty minutes Doc. Glad you could come.”

“You must be Clint Barton. And you are?”

“Sam Wilson. Good to meet you Doc.”

“All right, let me in there. I’ve talked with both of them before. Maybe I can diffuse the situation before they kill each other.”

“You want one of us to go in there with you?”

“Seeing as how you two were probably the cause of this, that would be unwise. Just let me in.”

Before Clint releases the codes, he calls through the intercom, just barely getting the attention of Steve and Nat.

“Hey guys…”

“WHAT,” they both scream out in unison.

“I uh…, I have someone outside here who can help. I’m going to let her in, but you have to calm down or this isn’t going to work.”

“Open the door, Barton.”

“You sure about this Doc?”

“Not going to tell you again, open the door.”

Sighing, Clint releases his security code, and the door slides open just enough to grant Dr. Kafka entrance. As soon as she’s through, he shuts the door and resets the security codes. 

“All right, let’s get right down to business. What’s bothering you two?”

Steve and Natasha just turn away from each other. Neither of them seems to be willing to speak now, after their prolonged shouting match.

“All right, we can stay here as long as it takes. I’m not leaving until you settle this.”

“Fine, I’ll go first. You were right Dr. Kafka, I have been putting the mission and other peoples’ lives first. I did so at the expense of a personal life. You once told me to put Captain America and his responsibilities aside and figure out what I wanted as Steve Rogers.”

“I remember that conversation. What did you find out?”

“I did some soul searching, thought about who I could be, and what, No, who I wanted in my life. I found someone I cared about, someone who could…, I saw her for who she was on the inside, beyond the exterior. We worked together for two years, and before we were set to go our separate ways, I told her I love her.”

“So what happened?”

“She walked out on me. I bared my heart to her and she just left. But not after saying that we couldn’t be together. She thinks that the normal life I want is something she can’t give to me.”

“You know that I can’t…,”

“Natasha, please. This is Steve’s time to talk. Let him finish. Then you’ll get your turn.”

“Anyway, I left to search for my best friend. It took a year out of my life and I never found him. Then I was called back for an Avengers priority. It was after the mission that I saw the woman I had fallen in love with flirting with a team-mate. So I did what I thought was right. I gave said team-mate some advice, even though it was breaking my heart. I watched her flirt with him, and I knew she had made her choice, and it hurt for a while that it wasn’t me, I’m not afraid to admit that. But it didn’t matter, once I thought that he could make her happy, I was willing to let her go.”

“That is very noble Steve, but it still keeps you in the position of not having a personal life. You had fallen in love with her, but you weren’t willing to fight for her.”

“If I had, it could have destroyed everything. Me, her, the Avengers.”

“We all had lives before you came along Rogers. And if you think that fighting for me would have destroyed me, then you obviously don’t really know how strong I am.”

“And that’s another thing; she can’t help but interrupt me every time I’m trying to get something important out. Just once, I wish she would let me finish what I’ve got to say.”

“Finish what you’ve got to say? That’s all you ever do! What about when you interrupt me when I want to say something?!”

Dr. Kafka has only been in the room with them for ten minutes, and she can already feel the animosity heating the atmosphere to the point that the next burst of anger will be like a volcano exploding. When the yelling starts again, she finally loses her composure, her own anger getting the better of her.

“ENOUGH! Both of you are going to close your mouths, look me straight in the eye and listen to what I have to say!”

“But…,”

“Not another word out of either of you. Not until I’m done.”

Steve and Natasha both sighed in unison, knowing that they weren’t going to get out of here until Dr. Kafka had her say. Even though Steve had willingly shared a lot of his problems with her, this felt like walking through a minefield. He had no earthly idea just how hard this was really going to end up being. Natasha on the other hand, prepared to close herself off. There was no chance she was going to let the Doctor get inside her head a second time.

“Now, that we’ve got that out of the way, there is obvious unresolved tension between you two. You both have to share the blame for the rift in your personal relationship. Because while you may still be able to get along professionally, in time this rift will threaten how you work together. Steve, you’re at fault for springing the I love you on Natasha too soon after SHIELD came crashing down around you.”

“That’s what I was trying to tell him…,”

“Natasha, you’re at fault for running out on him when he said it. Yes, he could have made the reveal better, but the reason he did say it is because he’d lost everything when he sacrificed his life to stop HYDRA. In his heart, Steve was afraid he was going to lose you. That was an eventuality he wasn’t prepared for. I’ve said what I need to say. So, now it’s your turn. Steve you go first, and calmly tell Natasha how you feel.”

“I didn’t grow up easy. I was born after my father died in the Great War. My mom worked hard to take care of me, even with her job as a nurse in the tuberculosis ward. Even as I grew up, things got progressively worse. Asthma, heart palpitations, you name it, I was afflicted with it. Even all my health issues didn’t stop me from getting into fights. Didn’t matter if the opponent was bigger than me, if they were doing something wrong, I felt I had to do what’s right. I’ve always wanted to do what’s right. That’s what led me to attempt enlistment four times. Either you’ve read my file, or Coulson told you everything you could ever want or need to know about me, Natasha. I admired you from the first time I saw you in battle. You were brave, fearless, willing to do whatever was necessary to protect the people during the alien invasion. When Fury made us partners, I wasn’t sure we could work together. And I know you weren’t either. On paper, the two of us couldn’t be more different. But I got to know you, and my admiration turned into respect, even though the way we go about completing the mission is different, we both had the same goal. When I woke up in this century, I didn’t know anything about the way the world worked now. You didn’t show pity, or make fun of me like Tony. In a way, that may have been because you were a fish out of water when Clint brought you to SHIELD, like I became when they defrosted me.”

Steve has to pause a moment to collect the rest of his thoughts. Everything he still needs to say is confusing, and if he doesn’t get the words out just right, he could end up alienating Natasha again. While she waits, he catches a brief glimpse of understanding in her eyes. 

“When SHIELD was falling around us, I didn’t know who to trust. But I found my answer in you. When I was fighting Bucky on the Insight helicarrier; my mind kept going back to what you told me. I was lost in my thoughts, wondering what HYDRA had done to him. You remember what you said? ‘None of that was your fault Steve.’ That gave me the strength to do what I needed to. That was one of the moments I realized I cared about you. But it was when you were going to leave, that I had an epiphany. You warned me to be careful about pulling on the thread that was Bucky’s life since he fell. I realized at that moment, that even though when you asked me who do you want me to be, and I said how about a friend, it was more than that. That’s when I realized that I had fallen in love with you.”

“Steve…,” Natasha begins to interrupt, but Steve keeps going, revealing something she didn’t expect. He never read anything about her past with the Red Room, he didn’t need to.

“Nat, I’ve only read your SHIELD file. Who you were, the things you were forced to do in your past, none of those things matter to me. We’ve all got ghosts to deal with. But here’s the deal, when I saw you with Bruce, I was torn apart. But because I love you, I was willing to let you go. It didn’t matter if my happiness was at stake; I just wanted you to be happy. You deserved a win.”

When he finished speaking, Natasha’s emotions were threatening to overwhelm her. She had finally realized that he loved her despite what she had done as an assassin, and he didn’t even need to know what demons she was still trying to escape from. He knew there would be risks in their relationship, but was willing to face them head on. His feelings for her are unconditional. Now as the tears begin to well up in the corners of her eyes, she’s about to open up to someone like she never has before, not even the way she opened up to Bruce.

“I was scared.”

Steve’s jaw drops in shock. This is an admission he never expected to hear from her, she always seemed to be in control, there was nothing she couldn’t handle. But he’s not about to interrupt her, as she bares her own soul.

“I was scared because I’ve never felt the way you make me feel. I’ve never been with someone as Natasha; it was always the mission, and a false identity. Even as I tried to deny it, I couldn’t even really be me with Bruce. Being with him would have been the safe choice, because I would still have been in control. But I’ve made a life out of making the dangerous choices, following Clint, and joining SHIELD was just the start of it. I guess I thought that since I couldn’t give you the normal life I thought you wanted, I would be with someone who had the same struggles I did. But I would have just been living as a shell of the person I could be. You constantly challenge me Steve, to be better. But you also don’t need to be with me.”

“Natasha…,”

“Please, let me finish. You don’t need to be with me, but you want to. There’s never really been anyone in my life who wanted to be with me the way you do. That’s the difference between you and Bruce, he had no expectations of me, but you do.”

“Nat, I-I don’t know where you’re going with this.”

“You’re still clueless when it comes to women, aren’t you,” Natasha smiles slightly at her question for him before continuing. “I never really wanted to be with Bruce. I wanted what I told you I couldn’t give you. I wanted what could come as close to a normal life as I can get.”

Now she sees the confusion in Steve’s eyes, he’s still not following what she’s trying to say, so she has to change tactics. But she also has to choose her words carefully, because she still has a slight fear that she could push him away.

“It was always you Steve. Ever since you told me you trusted me, you’ve been there in the back of my mind, and eating away at my resolve. You’ve been there in my heart.”

Now he’s beginning to understand, and he’s not going to push her.

“So what is it that you want Nat? This is your choice. Whatever you decide…,”

“I’m talking about you and me. I want us to have as normal a life as we can get. I’m in love with you, you idiot.”

When Natasha walks over to him, she wraps her arms around his waist and buries her head in the crook of his neck, and he gently places a hand on her back. Dr. Kafka has been watching and listening the whole time, knowing that this is the resolution she was trying to get them too, each time they came to her. She knows that when she gets back to her office, she can file all the notes she made during her sessions with Steve, the one with Natasha, and the one joint session in her success file. 

“Well, I have to say this is the best progress I’ve seen in a long time. Steve, Natasha, I’m glad you two finally worked this out. Now it’s time for me to get back to Ravencroft. But if you ever need anything, you know my door will always be open to the both of you.”

Steve looks up at Dr. Kafka with the utmost gratitude. But there is still one more obstacle they have to overcome.

“We’re not done just yet, Doctor. We still have to deal with the hyenas out there.”

“Oh yes, Clint and Sam. Just do me a favor, go easy on them. They only had the best intentions.”

Now Natasha looks up at Steve. Adopting her most devious smile, she already has a plan for the archer and the bird to pay for this. As she and Steve walk over to the door, Clint sees that they have finally seemed to resolve their problems, and releases the security code. Before he opens the door, he pages them one more time through the intercom.

“So, we’ve got all of this resolved? You two are going to stop dancing around your feelings for each other?”

“Yes, Clint. Steve and I are going to be okay. You can open the door now.”

“Uh-uh, I know that look, Nat. You’ve got something painful planned for the both of us.”

“Why would I have something painful planned? What exactly do you think I’m going to do?”

“Well, breaking my jaw, and every other bone in my body comes to mind.”

“That’s not what I have in mind, so will you please open the door?”

Clint hesitantly presses the controls. As the door begins to slide open he quickly ducks behind Sam, still concerned that Natasha intends to cause him bodily harm. When nothing happens, he peeks his head up over Sam’s shoulder. 

“Since you two just had to get involved, first I guess we should say thank you for knocking some sense into us.”

“Well then, you’re welcome Cap.”

“But, here’s your punishment for putting us through this torture. You two are going to spend the next month as the base janitors. That means cleaning up the destroyed machines from training sessions, cleaning out the bathrooms, and with the amount of personnel in the base, not to mention the bathrooms in the private living quarters, you’re both going to be quite busy.”

“Yeah, Nat you know Laura’s not going to let me stay here a month, what with Cooper and Lila, and Nathaniel only being a month old.”

“Oh I know, that’s why I’m going to arrange for her to have a guest room set up for the month you have to stay here. I’m sure she’ll be okay with that.”

Clint and Sam both drop their heads in defeat. They know they’re not going to get out of this one. As Steve walks away with Natasha, he looks back one more time, getting his own joke in on his two friends.

“Hey guys, don’t look so dejected. You got off easy, she could have made you stand in for the practice dummies in the training sessions.”

“He’s right you know, I’d rather clean than have to explain the bruises and broken bones to my wife.”

“Maybe, but I still think they have something more planned for us.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so here we are at the end of the story. I hope everyone enjoyed taking this trip with Steve and Natasha finally realizing what all of their friends knew all along. I appreciate every comment, every suggestion, and every one who left kudos on my story. Hopefully I was able to keep both Steve and Nat true to the way their characters should be, because like many of the readers and fans, I felt that the way they were written they weren't being true to themselves through certain parts of Avengers: Age of ULTRON. Thanks again to all the readers for taking the time to read my work.


	15. Resolution

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I know I said in the notes that Chapter 14 would be the last chapter, but I just couldn't leave it that way. This chapter won't be the last, but there is still a little bit of angst on Natasha's part, and she's still has questions about what Steve wants from her.

When Natasha called Laura and delivered the news, the latter wasn’t exactly thrilled at leaving the farm for a whole month. But she had only gotten to know a little bit about Steve while he was at the farm. Now she’d really get to the chance to know all about the man her husband respects and Natasha fell in love with. After a short Quinjet flight she was in upstate New York.

“So this is where you work now Natasha? Seems kind of cold, almost sterile.”

“We’ve only been in the building a month, but it’s not exactly the ideal location for personal touches. It’s a training facility. But, I think that the quarters we’ve had set up for you will feel at least comfortable.”

As Natasha leads the way towards the living quarters, her companion is amazed at the number of personnel that they pass. Keeping her and their kids secret was priority, so she never saw the SHIELD bases Clint worked in. While Natasha talks about the compound, Laura is barely listening while rocking Nathaniel back to sleep, waiting for the right time to bring up Captain Rogers. After a break in the conversation, she finally gets her chance.

“So, tell me about what’s happened since the Avengers left the farm. I have to admit I was confused when Clint brought you all there. On your solo visit we talked about Captain Rogers…,” She pauses a moment, not knowing if the corridors are the proper place to discuss this, but a questioning glance from Natasha tells her it’s okay to continue. “…anyway, we discussed how he told you what he feels for you, and you were having a difficult time accepting that you have the same feelings.”

“Yeah, and you’re no doubt wondering why I was so cold with him, and what was going on between me and Dr. Banner.”

“So what changed? First you seemed to be accepting that you were feeling something for him, then you just turned a one-eighty and started pursuing Dr. Banner.”

“Hold that thought, this will be your quarters.”

Natasha enters the code to the room, and allows Laura to enter first after the door slides open. When they’re both inside, Laura is amazed that the room is larger than the master bedroom in the farmhouse.

“Okay, so your sleeping quarters are in the back, there’s a separate room for Cooper and Lila, the kids as well as you and Clint also have separate bathrooms. We’ve also set up a crib for Nathaniel in your room. Hopefully we’ve provided all the comforts of home for you here.”

“Nat this place is…is huge. How did you manage all of this?”

“When you know Tony Stark, absolutely anything is possible. So, you wanted to know what happened to prompt the change.”

“Only if you want to tell me. I know your privacy is important to you, and…”

“It’s okay. I wouldn’t have thought it possible, but opening up has been a whole lot easier since Steve and I finally had it out.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well your husband locked us in the training facility and we ended up in a shouting match. It was a lot of back and forth about how he was hurting watching me flirt with Bruce, how I was furious about being locked up in a cell for two days, but he did nothing.”

“Well if that’s the case it seems like you would still be at each other’s throats.”

“Perhaps, but that wasn’t what we were both really angry about, it was that we were both to stubborn to admit the truth.”

“The truth that for maybe the first time in your life you actually had strong feelings for someone, and it scared the hell out of you. This is why you pursued Bruce, because you had to be in control, and you still would be, but wouldn’t really feel anything for him.”

“Are you sure you’ve never been trained in espionage Laura? That’s almost the same thing Clint said to me.”

“I can read Clint, and because of that, I can read you. And from what I gather, Steve’s ultimate truth is that he was afraid to lose you, he’s lost everything once before.”

“And then he was willing to let me go. Wouldn’t that be the same as losing me?”

“No, not in his eyes. Clint once told me that Steve puts everyone and everything before himself. He was willing to let you go because he thought that’s what you would want. I’m going to go out on a limb and say he was willing to sacrifice his happiness for yours.”

As Natasha was about to reply, Nathaniel started to cry. Being his lunch time, Natasha excused herself; she needed to go meet with Steve anyway. But before leaving, she remembered the suggestion Clint had made, before going to clean the training room.

“Oh, we’re having a barbecue tonight. Clint’s idea of actually christening the new base. Steve and I were both against it, but you know…,”

“I know Clint, and he wouldn’t take no for answer. I should stay with the kids, but he can go have fun.”

“I’ll make sure to save you some food, you know if Clint doesn’t fricassee it beyond recognition.”

Laura just laughs at Natasha’s joke about Clint’s inability to use a grill. For the best marksman in the world, who doesn’t even need to be looking at a target to hit it, he always misses the mark when he’s cooking. But she’s still worried about Natasha as she leaves; hoping that she will give whatever this is with Captain Rogers a fighting chance. The distance from Laura’s quarters to Steve’s is a short walk, so Natasha takes as many deep breaths as she can, hoping to calm her nerves. Even though she admitted how she feels a few days ago, this is still a new concept for the assassin. 

When she arrives, she first plans to knock, but she has the access codes for emergency reasons, but Natasha really isn’t sure which approach to take. Finally when she hears what sound like exertions from the other side of the door, she decides to just enter the codes. After crossing the threshold, she has to stop and stare. Steve is there doing one-armed push-ups in just a pair of blue sweats.

“So, you enjoying the view Romanoff?”

“Actually, yes I am. Not that I’m asking you to stop, but doesn’t the serum keep your body at the peak of human perfection?”

Steve chuckles at Natasha’s subtle innuendo. He knew she had entered because Friday alerted him to the code that was used to open his door. Her comment also reminds him of the time she mentioned that Hill had checked out his attributes.

“That it does, but the push-ups, the punching bags, these are just things I need to do. I guess old habits die hard.”

“So, can we talk?”

Steve notices the tremor in her voice and he immediately stops his work-out. He knows that it took a lot for her to admit that she was in love with him. He even knows that admitting to any kind of feelings is something the Black Widow just doesn’t do. So he moves over to the couch and gestures for her to sit down.

“You’ve got my undivided attention Nat. What’s on your mind?”

Instead of sitting Natasha begins to pace. She’s worried about what to say, and how he will react. After another deep breath, she just decides to put it all on the table.

“Why do you want to be with me?”

The question catches him completely off guard. He had thought they had resolved this when Clint and Sam locked them in the training room together and laid it all out for Dr. Kafka. Even when she stops pacing and worried green eyes lock in on him, he’s still not sure what to say.

“Natasha we’ve been through this…,”

“With Dr. Kafka, I know. But I want to hear you say it, no prodding, and no therapists. Just you.”

“So you still have doubts. Natasha; I wasn’t being prodded by Dr. Kafka. I was being totally honest with you.”

“Answer the question. Why do you want to be with me? I’ve heard all about Peggy. I’ve never met her, but every file; every recording about you says she was the one for you.”

“So that’s it. Okay, let’s start with what Wanda showed me in South Africa. She showed me the past if I hadn’t sacrificed myself to the ice for seventy years. I saw the end of the war; I saw a life in a New York. But the worst thing I saw from that vision was an empty dance hall. Even the dance I thought I was having was nothing more than a dream.”

“That doesn’t answer my question. You even called Sharon, so…”

“Natasha, Sharon is Peggy’s Great Niece. If I wanted to be with her, I would be. But it wouldn’t be me, not as who I am now. That would be me clinging to a past I could never go back too. I want to be with you, and there’s not a single woman in the world that could ever compare to you. You’re the right partner I’ve been looking for all of my life. Seventy years was worth the wait.”

Now it’s Natasha’s turn to be speechless. She’s learned more about Steve in three days than she did in two years as his partner. Now she also understands why he never acted on the suggestions she made of women for him to date, they didn’t see him as Steve, just as Captain America.

“So that’s why you want to be with me. Captain America isn’t in love with the Black Widow. Steve Rogers is in love with Natasha Romanoff.”

“Well, yeah. That’s the point exactly. I fell in love with you because I looked past the Black Widow. The Widow caught my attention as fiercely loyal to her team. But it wasn’t her on the run with me, it was Natasha. And I think she saw past Cap to Steve, and that’s all I’ve ever really wanted.”

The spy smirks at his admission. She knew he was being honest when they were in with Dr. Kafka, but the truth is so simple she overlooked the entirety of why Steve fell in love with her. The shades of gray she has spent her life looking at mean nothing. She now realizes that Steve’s feelings for her are just like he sees the world. When they were first partnered up she found his old fashioned nature to be infuriating. Now that they both know what they want, she finds it endearing, a little sappy maybe, not that she’d tell him that, but endearing nonetheless.

“So, I believe we missed out on a sparring session Cap.”

“When did we…, Oh you mean after we finished that second mission together. With Clint insisting on the party, are you sure this is the best time for that?”

“I beat you, and you said you would surprise me. Prove it.”

“Is there any way for me to get out of this one Nat?”

“Not a chance, you’re already half dressed for it, so let’s go soldier.”

“You expect me to spar with you in the jeans and t-shirt you’re wearing?”

“Well if you’re not up to the challenge, I guess…,”

“Didn’t say I couldn’t handle the challenge Romanoff, and I have been looking forward to this.”

It only took them a few minutes to get from Steve’s quarters to the training room. Unlike the SHIELD facility, this was still without a boxing ring. After a mat was rolled out, they both kicked off their shoes. 

“Okay, so you’re going to go easy on me right Nat? I don’t want to break a hip.”

She chuckles at the joke coming from Steve that she had used the first time they sparred. Since that first time they’ve gotten to know each other better, and while Natasha will still go for his strongest points, he’s seen the takedown move she used and thinks he can counter it. This time as they circle each other they know that feints aren’t going to work. Steve throws a left hook and Natasha blocks before kneeing him in the gut. If her opponent was anyone other than Captain America, they would be doubled over trying to catch their breath. The hit only slows him down briefly and he goes for a low sweep to the legs. With a back flip, the spy easily avoids the attempt before reengaging with her own right cross. A quick side-step from Steve enabled him to evade the punch, and he made for a low roundhouse, which caught air as Natasha ducked and rolled. 

“I know what’s coming next Nat.”

“Oh you do? I’m still waiting for that surprise you had planned.”

Natasha knows that she won’t be able to catch him with the move that dropped him the last time, so she spins and throws an elbow at his head, but Steve blocks and catches her arm, locking it in place with his own arm. When she attempts to break the hold, he rotates their positions and twists his own body so her right leg is trapped against his left, and exerts just enough pressure to bring her down. They’re almost in a direct reversal of the position they were in at the end of the last sparring match, except Steve is leaning across her body, their arms still locked together. 

“Your turn to tap out Natasha, were you surprised?”

“Hmm, not really, and I’m not beaten just yet.”

A sly smirk adorns her lips as she reaches up with her free hand, knowing this was a mistake on his part and grabs the dog tags that are dangling above her. A strong tug on them pulls his face down to her, and she locks her lips on his in a kiss that he wasn’t expecting. The shock causes him to release his grip on her arm, and she rolls them over, straddling him again and pinning his arms down with her knees. When they break for air, Steve can’t believe what just happened and again taps his right hand against the mat, and Natasha breaks out in laughter, just barely able to get the words out.

“I win.”

“Best two out of three?”

“I’ve already got two wins Steve, you don’t stand a chance and you know it.”

“Oh well, plan b then.”

Natasha didn’t expect Steve to reach up and gently cup the back of her neck, pulling her down to lock their lips together again. This time the kiss is more passionate, and she loses herself in the feel of it. They only break for air this time when they hear someone clapping behind them.

“It’s about damn time. But seriously, you two need to get a room.”

Natasha immediately jumps up after hearing the voice, and pulls the dog tags she still had a grip on with her. Steve slowly sits up trying to catch his breath as he turns bright red. Standing at the back of the room is Clint, laughing hysterically at what he just saw.

“Oh you are so dead, Barton!”

Natasha runs straight for him, fury flashing in her emerald green eyes. Clint’s seen that look before, and he knows he’s in trouble. He only gets a few feet away when she catches up and trips him. When he goes down, the spy places a foot on his chest, keeping him down.

“How much did you see and hear?”

“Just the tail end! You going to let me go?”

“Only when you promise not to spill one word of what you saw in here!”

“Why would I say anything? I’d like to forget the images that will be burned into my brain forever! If I hadn’t spoken up I might have gotten the full show!”

Natasha presses her foot down harder, she knows that her friend is joking, but she can’t resist torturing him just a little bit longer.

“All right; all right! I won’t say anything! But the grill isn’t going to cook the food by itself!”

Natasha and Steve break out in laughter together at Clint’s discomfort. It’s only when the tears are starting to gather in her eyes from laughing so hard that she removes her foot from his chest. Steve even has to place a steadying hand on her waist so she doesn’t fall over from the laughter that has yet to cease. Clint shakily gets to his feet and as he walks away, has a word of advice for Steve.

“Hey Cap, whatever you do from here on out in your relationship, don’t piss her off.”

Natasha shoots another angry glare at her friend and he takes off running. When he’s gone, she looks back at Steve, and holds his dog tags out that are still in her hand.

“I want you to keep them, Nat. They mean a lot to me and so do you. They’re yours to wear.”

She’s surprised that he’s willing to part with something so personal to him, but the gesture isn’t lost on her. After he takes them back for just a moment, she pulls her hair to the side to allow Steve the access to her neck, so he can hook the clasp.


	16. Afternoon party

After the sparring session and Clint’s surprise appearance in the training room, though he had still been cleaning up when Steve and Natasha entered, the day had to move forward. With Steve’s quarters closer, Natasha accompanied him there so she could shower while he got dressed. The one thing she envies about him is that the serum takes care of his aches and pains while a hot shower is what she needs to relax her muscles. 

“Hey Steve, can you get me a towel and…,”

“Already have that covered, there’s an extra one on the bar, and I’ve left you some of my sweats and a t-shirt. If you need anything else…”

“Nope, that’s good.”

Natasha was surprised again at his forethought. She cherished the fact that he had willingly let her keep his dog tags, which she was still wearing even in the shower. But now her heart is beating rapidly, fluttering at the realization that for the first time in her life, she’s actually being cared for. This is a feeling she’s never experienced, and she knows she doesn’t want to lose it.

“Oh by the way, you should go talk with Laura. I’m sure she wants to thank you for letting her stay here.”

“That was your idea, but it would be nice to get to know her a little better.”

“Well then go on. It will also do you some good to be around Cooper and Lila.”

Steve laughs as Natasha’s suggestion. He did babysit Bucky’s little sister Rebecca a few times, but that was a long time ago. Kids may not be in his own future, but after working together with the archer, they’ve become friends. Seeing how Clint handles the normal life will help him understand how to have one himself. When he reaches their quarters he knocks on the door. Like Natasha; he has all of the security codes, but this is the polite way of letting them know he’s there.

“Captain Rogers, this is an unexpected surprise. Would you like to come in?”

“Actually I just came by to see how the quarters are working out for you Laura. Umm…,”

“I know, it was a stupid question. This is your training facility after all, and I’m a guest here.”

“Nah, there are no stupid questions. It’s not right to just enter without permission unless it’s an emergency situation.”

“Well then, are you coming in or not? I’ve got coffee brewing and Clint has some beer in the fridge if you want something stronger?”

Steve is impressed at Laura’s direct nature. He was worried when Clint took them to the farm unannounced, but even then she was nothing but welcoming. It’s clear to him now she can easily roll with whatever life throws her way. 

“I’ll have the coffee. So uh…,”

“Steve, you’ve got to learn to talk to people. What brought you here other than checking in on my quarters?”

While Steve was talking with Laura, Natasha was finishing getting dressed in the clothes he left for her. When she stepped out of his room, wearing a shirt two sizes too big and navy blue sweats, there were a few curious glances. Thankfully any comments that could have been voiced were silenced when Sam walked up.

“Hey Natasha you got a minute?”

“A few, what do you need Sam?”

“Well I’m having trouble reaching Steve, and I have these reports he wanted to see. They’re on the security protocols for the base, he asked me to evaluate them and see where we could make improvements.”

“Hmm, normally that would be something I would have done. He went to you?”

“I’m sure he didn’t mean to…,”

“Sam it’s okay. I have been kind of occupied lately, what with Laura and the kids and…,”

“Anyway, I think you would be the better choice. You do have more experience with these procedures than he does.”

“Okay, I’ll take a look, and I’ll get his opinion as well. But; no more work for today. Since Clint can’t help but over insist on this party, all assignments are postponed until tomorrow.”

“Glad to hear that, by the way did you know that Stark included plans in this place for an outdoor pool?”

“Somehow I’m not surprised. How did you find out about them?”

“Came across them when I was going over the schematics, the thing is huge, Olympic level.”

“We’ll have to look into that. It might be a good idea for a swimming pool for potential underwater mission training, but…”

“Yeah, here’s the thing. It’s already been built. We’ve walked across it probably a hundred times recently.”

“Where is it? You found it?”

“Actually Clint did. He’s out getting the grill ready by it now. It’s at the rear of the compound; Tony apparently wanted to keep it well hidden. It’s covered up by a remote activated sliding fake grass panel.”

“So how exactly did Clint find it?”

“He’ll have to tell you. He claims he was too embarrassed to tell me.”

“This means he fell in somehow. All right, go get the others. We’re about an hour away from the party, and I have to make sure Clint doesn’t burn the whole place down.”

Sam and Natasha part ways with her continuing on to her room while Sam goes to the team recreation room. With the knowledge of the pool on the grounds, she thinks back to when she told Steve bye-bye bikinis. So it’s a little impulsive, but he’s seen the scar and she’s going to give him one more surprise that could likely cause a heart attack. Meanwhile Steve is still talking with Laura when Maria brings the kids back from their lunch.

“Hey Laura, your kids really are great to spend time with. I never thought I’d say it but…, oh hey Steve. I didn’t know you’d be here.”

“I should probably get going anyway; have to make sure Clint doesn’t burn the place down while he’s grilling.”

Steve stands up to leave, catching the attention of Cooper and Lila. Like at the farmhouse Cooper is in awe of the man standing in front of him. He barely hears when Captain America questions Hill about the pool, lost in his own thoughts from when his class was learning about World War Two and they had a soldier who fought alongside the Captain come speak to them.

“No, I can do that. I need to check out the safety of this rumored pool Tony had built.”

As Maria leaves, it’s Lila who is the most perceptive of Clint’s two older children and her question simultaneously shocks her mother and embarrasses Steve to the point that he turns as red as a tomato.

“Uncle Steve, Daddy says you’re in love with Auntie Nat. Are you going to marry her?”

After recovering from his initial embarrassment, Steve is nothing but honest with the little girl. Laura even tries to change the subject before he can answer, but he does anyway.

“Lila, Auntie Nat is a remarkable woman. I care for her very much. For right now I’m happy with where things are between us. Maybe someday when you’re older, we’ll talk about this again.”

Lila runs off to her room accepting the answer she was given, but still shouts out that Uncle Steve is going to marry Auntie Nat, slightly irritating Cooper in the process. Laura just shakes her head as Steve nervously chuckles. 

“Even though she doesn’t know you that well, that little girl loves you Steve.”

“I know, she and Cooper are amazing. You and Clint are very lucky.”

“Clint and I are blessed. But you’re the lucky one.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Well let’s see, you survived one of the worst wars in human history, even though you sacrificed yourself to stop HYDRA from taking over the world. You’ve seen aliens, Gods, and you have still managed to remain the same man you were back then. Top all of that off with the fact that Natasha loves you, and I’ve never seen her head over heels in love. You’re one of a kind, I hope you’re both going to make this last.”

“Oh I intend to, there’s no one else I’d rather spend the rest of my life with than her. Not that I can tell her that yet, I don’t want to rush her.”

“So you plan to let your relationship develop on her time table. Not a bad idea.”

“Actually, it’s our time table, when we’re both ready to move things forward step by step. So are you and the kids going to be coming to the party?”

“Cooper and Lila can, but I’m going to stay in with Nathaniel. I presume it will be just the Avengers?”

“Yeah, and Maria. The rest of the staff will either have their assignments or the night off. And don’t worry, I’m going to be manning the grill with Clint, that way he doesn’t burn all the food beyond recognition.”

“Well, have fun.”

As Steve leaves, Laura laughs in response to his comment about Clint and cooking. It was almost the exact same thing Natasha said. If there was any doubt in her mind before, there isn’t now.

“Those two have no idea how perfect they are for each other.”

An hour later Steve was outside with Clint, and promptly took over the grilling after the first hamburger ended up burned so badly that it tasted more like propane than beef. The other Avengers had yet to arrive, but the pool was as enormous as the plans for it had shown. 

“You’re sure you don’t want my help, Steve?”

“Not with the grilling, Clint. But you can go see what’s taking the others so long to get here.”

The archer is disappointed that his attempts at grilling failed on the first try. Though he also blames it on the grill Tony bought. In his honest opinion, it’s far too fancy for a simple cook-out. Upon first examination it looked like a rejected Iron Man suit. After he enters the compound, Natasha is exiting through another door, and sees Steve alone outside. Silently she snuck up behind him and covered his eyes with her hands.

“Guess who.”

He began rattling off names, pretending that he didn’t recognize the husky sound of her voice. The feigned confusion in his voice amused the spy until she broke out in laughter. 

“Well you definitely get an A for effort Rogers, but since Sam’s name was the first one you said, I have to ask if there’s something you’re not telling me.”

Now it’s Steve’s turn to break into laughter, which he does; but stops when he turns around to actually take in the sight of Natasha standing behind him.

“Not that I can think of. Nat is that one of my dress shirts?”

“Yeah, I borrowed it from your closet. I didn’t think you’d mind. I can take it off if you want.”

“I don’t mind, it looks better on you than it ever did on me.”

The light blue shirt is only half way buttoned as it drapes loosely across her curves. Steve can see just a hint of the swimsuit she is wearing underneath it. And his dog tags are hanging right down the center of her chest, he tries to focus on her eyes but he can’t stop his thoughts from racing as he waits to see the rest of her suit. Likewise Natasha is equally stunned at his attire. She’s never seen him dressed this casually before with a plain white t-shirt and a pair of black and red board shorts. 

“I think you’re wearing my colors, Steve.”

“I am, and from the little bit I can see, you’re wearing mine.”

Natasha had thought Steve missed her overt hint about taking off his shirt, but the smirk on his face tells her he didn’t miss a thing. With no one else around she slowly unbuttons the few buttons that held the shirt on and seductively slides it down her shoulders. Steve is dumbfounded at the two piece red, white and blue bikini Natasha is wearing. If he could speak he’d refute his joke about her looking terrible, but the most that he can get out is an unintelligible stutter.

“Umm-umm…, N-Nat…,”

“I guess that means that I don’t look terrible in a bikini after all, do I Rogers?”

“Nat, you look amazing. If I wasn’t cooking…,”

“Easy there soldier. Why don’t you show me the pool?”

Even though Steve is certain he’s flushed red at the sight of the gorgeous redhead he’s in love with, he’s thankful for the change of subject which allows him to focus on something else.

“Friday, could you retract the pool’s cover? I believe Agent Romanoff would like to take a few laps.”

The A.I. responds with an affirmative and the ground begins to open up. The pool is indeed an Olympic sized pool, fully equipped with a separate hot tub, and a shallow end for any younger swimmers. Tony clearly went all out because not only was there the pool, but there were also chairs situated on the cement around the water. Just before Natasha could dive in, Cooper and Lila came running across the grass followed by Clint. She had just enough time to tie Steve’s shirt around her waist before Lila tackled her.

“Auntie Nat! Daddy says he’s going to teach me to swim!”

“He is? Well that will be fun! Come on, I think Uncle Steve has the first batch of food ready. What would you like?”

Steve chuckles under his breath at Natasha calling him Uncle. Lila asks for a hot dog while Cooper wants a hamburger. As they’re getting their food, the rest of the team begins to arrive, minus the Vision and Wanda, who elected to stay behind to assess the security codes for the potential of outside infiltration. Sam and Rhodes brought the drinks and ice, while Maria came with plates. 

For the next hour Steve continues to play grill master while the others eat, joke and tell stories. When he finished cooking, he brought his own hamburger over and sat down in a lounge chair next to Natasha. He came in during the middle of Rhodey’s story about the aerial battle with the ULTRON drones over Sokovia. Of those assembled; Sam, Cooper and Lila were the only ones not witness to the events. Sam and Cooper were enthralled, but Lila was too busy paying attention to Natasha, and glancing at Steve out of the corner of her eye. It was at that moment that she asked Natasha the same question she had asked Steve earlier.

“Auntie Nat, are you and Uncle Steve going to get married?”

Steve spit out the drink he had just taken all over his shirt when he heard the question again, and Natasha had to stifle a laugh. But with Lila’s eyes looking up at her Natasha felt that same uneasiness she felt before admitting to Steve how she felt about him. Maybe it was providence, but Clint walked over at that moment interrupting the awkward silence.

“Hey kiddo, you ready to start learning how to swim?”

Instantly Lila forgot her question and ran off with her father to the shallow end of the pool. Steve was still trying to catch his breath as Natasha looked over at him. From the look on his face she could tell he was just as taken aback at the questions as she was. But when he took her hand with a gentle squeeze, she knew he was reassuring her that when the time was right, they’d get there. Even the look in his crystal blue eyes said there’s no rush. For the rest of the afternoon she reclined in her chair, still holding on to Steve’s hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little domestic fluff in this chapter. As I said with Chapter 15, the story needed a little more to it. So there are probably two more chapters coming, chapter 17 should be complete soon. Thank you to all the readers who have left kudos and comments. Couldn't keep going without your support.


	17. Questions

A short time later Natasha was waking up in a bed. She was slightly disoriented at being inside, but soon realized she was in her own room. She wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but when she looked over at her clock it read seven thirty p.m. and the sun was beginning to set outside her windows. As she slowly sat up, Steve’s dress shirt fell down and she saw she was still in her bikini, so it couldn’t have been that long since the party ended. Another quick glance to the side revealed Steve, curled up in a chair that was way too small for his super-soldier body, and his neck was lying at an odd angle over the back. Slowly getting up she gently places a hand on his shoulder to wake him.

“Steve? Steve; wake up.”

He slowly starts to shift his position, and grumbles quietly about wanting five more minutes. But when he finishes moving a stab of pain shoots through his neck and his eyes snap open, glassy and watery.

“OUCH! Where, where am I?”

As his eyes struggle to focus, he can barely see that his surroundings are familiar, but at the same time unfamiliar as well. It isn’t until he hears a comforting voice and a flash of red hair steps in front of him that he begins to remember.

“Wake up sleepy head. How long have we been in my room?”

“Umm, I’d g-guess long enough for me to get a crick in my neck. What time is it?”

“7:30 p.m.”

“Then yeah, it’s been three and a half hours since I carried you here after you fell asleep.”

“Okay, so can you move at all? The pain in your neck isn’t going resolve itself on its own.”

When he tries to move again, he lets out another yelp of pain when his neck spasms. Natasha sighs, even though she secretly appreciated his gesture of carrying her back to her room, and that he stayed there with her. 

“All right you big baby, just stay there and I’ll massage your neck until you can move it freely.”

Her tone is straight forward teasing as she moves around behind the chair to gently massage the muscles. Once again she surprises Steve because he knows that her hands are as deadly a weapon for her as her guns. But right now they feel soft and comforting as she eases the pain. While she is working she slips into idle conversation, mostly about the rest of the party.

“So, if you brought me back to my room, I guess the party is over?”

“It was winding down, Clint finished Lila’s first couple of swimming lessons, and she seems to be a natural.”

“That’s my girl. What about Cooper and the others?”

“Cooper couldn’t be torn away from Rhodes’ stories; Sam grilled a little more food, and uh…seemed to really hit it off with Maria. She was over there at the grill with him more than anywhere else. Even when he was done, she helped him clean up.”

“I noticed some tension between the two of them. Seemed like disdain hidden behind professional courtesy.”

“Don’t do it Nat.”

“Do what?”

“Try to get them together. Maybe they like each other, and maybe they don’t. Let’s just let it happen naturally if it’s going to happen at all.”

Natasha laughs and pauses in her massage to playfully slap Steve’s shoulder. She can’t help but think about all the women she tried to set him up with over the course of their two years as partners, and how he turned every one of them down.

“Not this time, I was only trying to get you to date. Sam doesn’t need as much help as you did. I learned my lesson. And for the record, you were hopeless.”

“No, I was just hopelessly in love with you.”

The cold assassin that Natasha was would have run from those words several years ago. But now she blushes as she feels her heart melting and she realizes that her soldier wasn’t the only one lost in the ice. Even as short a time as three years ago, thinking of Steve has hers would have triggered her fight or flight instincts. And for perhaps the first time in her life, she’s met a man who is as good on the inside as he is on the outside. He’s never treated her as a target, or a mark like she was taught to believe. This man from the past treats her with respect and never as anything less than an equal. 

“So, I think it’s time we discussed the when and where we’re going to have our first date.”

Natasha had already resumed massaging his knotted neck muscles when she broached the subject. Now that he was able to regain some of his movement, Steve tried to turn around and face her, but her hands kept him looking straight at the wall.

“Don’t turn your head; you’ve still got this one big knot in the back of your neck.”

“A d-d-date? Nat…,”

“Yes, and you’re cute when you stutter. But that is what two people who are in a relationship do. They go out on dates. Or did you call it something different in your day? How was it referred to? Oh yeah, going steady?”

“That’s hilarious Romanoff. So, a date. What do you want to do?”

“Oh no, I may be stubbornly independent, but I’m not deciding what our first date is going to be. That’s your job.”

“Okay, I’ve got something in mind. And this first date will put all others to shame. You’d better be ready for the best night of your life.”

“As long as it’s not just taking me out for coffee like you did Sharon, I will be.”

“How did you…, Sam. I’ll have to give him an extra week of clean up duties for that. Well, it’s late, and I’d better be getting back to my quarters.”

“It’s only 8:30, but I guess you old-timers do need your beauty sleep.”

“Question, are you ever going to get tired of the senior citizen jokes?”

“Not in the foreseeable future. But you never know.”

When Steve could move his neck freely again, and Natasha had dropped her hands, he stood up to leave. Before walking to the door, he pulled her in for a gentle but passionate kiss. When the kiss ended and he turned around to leave, she grabbed his hand and pulled him back.

“Going somewhere Rogers?”

“Yeah, uh… to get something to eat. It’s breakfast time for this old-timer. You coming along?”

Natasha smiles full and bright with Steve using her joke. She knows that with anyone else on the team, he would just take the joke in stride. But he’s different with her, the jokes have never really bothered him, but when she makes one; he rolls with it. As she looks back, this is one of the main reasons she fell in love with him.

“I can eat, but don’t think that this counts as our first date Rogers.”

“Wouldn’t dream of this being our first date. I can plan something better than this.”

After a short walk, Steve and Natasha were in the cafeteria. It was mostly empty except for Sam and Maria who were sitting together in the corner farthest back. As they approached they could see their two friends in an intensely animated conversation, and then Maria did something neither the soldier or spy expected, she laughed loud enough for the sound to echo.

“What’s so funny?”

Maria and Sam looked up startled to see Steve and Natasha standing next to the small table. The former’s laughter died down as she began retelling Sam’s story.

“Sam was just telling me about your search for Barnes in Hawaii. I’m surprised he was able to convince you to actually enjoy the scenery while you were there Steve.”

Natasha raised an eyebrow about the ‘scenery’, and on reflex Steve noticed her small curious glance.

“It was the waves and the beach, Nat. You know I was probably too focused on searching for my friend to do more than pace the sands. Anyway Maria, that wasn’t the funny part, was it?”

Steve knows what’s coming in the story next, he lived through it, and he knows he’s about to be embarrassed again.

“To say the least, yeah.”

“So what happened?”

“Sam says there was a woman walking over to them Natasha, and he wasn’t sure who she had an intent gaze on. He figured it was Steve, after all Captain America garners all the attention when he just walks by.”

“Yeah, I saw how you looked at him on the helicarrier.”

Maria blushes slightly at being called out by Natasha, and now that she knows she and Steve are together, it just makes her fidget uncomfortably remembering that day.

“Anyway, Sam was worried that he would get ignored, and reached over, pushing Steve into the ocean.”

“I ended up looking like a drowned rat; he never should have been worried.”

“Yeah, I know that now.”

“What’s that mean, Sam?”

“Nat, it means that she wasn’t even remotely staring at me, she was looking at Sam the whole time. Besides, everyone knows I’m only interested in redheads.”

This time the four of them break out in laughter together, because it was never a big secret that Steve was enamored with Natasha. The only two people who didn’t seem to be aware of it were Steve and Natasha themselves at first.

“So Nat, what can I get for you?”

“That grilled chicken Ceaser salad Maria is eating looks pretty good Steve.”

“Be right back.”

When he returned to the table Steve had the salad for Natasha and three helpings of the grilled chicken that Sam seemed to be enjoying for himself. As they sat and ate, there was no talk of work, or missions. Sam continued telling jokes from the time he spent globe-trotting with Steve, and a few from his time in the Air Force. Maria just listened with rapt attention on Sam. Steve and Natasha stayed quiet, mainly because it was impossible to get a word in edgewise. When the dinner was over, Maria and Natasha excused themselves, with the latter giving Steve a kiss good-night. After the two women left, Steve hit his friend with a very amused, questioning glance.

“So, you and Hill huh?”

“Come on man, it’s not like that. She’s just a friend.”

“You sure about that? The entire time it was like Nat and I weren’t even here. She was so focused on you.”

“It was just my jokes and stories. Besides fraternization between team-mates is…,”

“A total cop-out buddy. Look at Nat and I. We’re team-mates.”

“Yeah, but you two are different. You’ve been in love with her for how long?”

“Almost three years, but don’t change the subject. Maria’s into you. You afraid to give it a chance?”

Sam fell silent as he began to think about it. Steve’s words did have some truth to them, she was laughing at all of his jokes, even the ones that weren’t funny. She helped him with the grilling and the clean-up. And if a relationship for Steve and Natasha can work, why not for him. Meanwhile, as they walk the halls to the residential area, Natasha is asking the same question to Maria.

“So, what’s up with you and Sam?”

“Sam and I are just friends. Trust me Natasha, there’s nothing more to it than that.”

“Uh-huh. You can’t lie to me Hill. And you know I’m the only person to ever beat Fury’s lie detector test. So how about the truth.”

Maria knew she’d been busted. There is a reason the Black Widow was always the first agent thought of to go in when SHIELD needed sensitive information. She’s still the best at what she does. She has this uncanny knack to see into anyone’s motivations.

“All right; fine. I am kind of interested in Sam. He’s a good man, the way he volunteered to get involved in the fall of SHIELD and how he’s stuck by Steve through all of it proves that.”

“Yeah, and you know I’ve never seen you laugh, at all. You even laughed at the jokes that just weren’t funny. So go for it.”

“Is that what you did?”

“In a manner of speaking. Steve and I had to walk away from each other to realize how we really felt. So don’t do what I did, don’t walk away from him without giving this a chance. Steve didn’t have to take me back.”

“Please, that man would wallow in mud just to be with you. You’ve had a hold of his heart since day one.”

“Anyway think about what I said. If you really like Sam, take the chance. I’m going to turn in for the night.”

As Maria and Natasha separated for their own quarters, Steve was heading back to his own quarters after telling Sam to take a chance with Maria. When he got there he would find himself unable to sleep, but not from nightmares. He was stressing over what to do for his and Natasha’s official first date. It would take him a few days, but he would finally figure it out, making it a complete surprise for her.

During the days following the party, Natasha barely saw Steve. The most conversation they had was when he made the date official, asking her out for Saturday night. Then they were back to work, giving the base the finishing touches, filing reports, and Fury insisting on a full run down of potential new recruits. And even separate one on one training sessions, he with Sam and Rhodes, while she worked with Vision and Wanda. By the time Saturday did arrive, she was more than curious as to what he had planned. She asked Clint, and even asked Friday, but neither of them could or would say anything. Eventually she had to admit that he had this so well figured out, that no matter what she tried, it was going to remain his secret. It was when she was finishing a shower after an intense sparring session with Wanda that Friday alerted her to a package waiting for her.

“Excuse me Agent Romanoff, but I believe Captain Rogers has left something for you.”

“Did he leave it inside?”

“No, I believe he left it on your doorstep. He only gave me instructions to tell you that it was there.”

“And you’re sure you don’t know what he has planned?”

“I am truly sorry, but the Captain neglected to share that information with me.”

After donning her bathrobe, Natasha went to the door and looked down to see a gift wrapped package, complete with a note attached.

“I hope this fits you. I think you’ll look beautiful in it. This is for our date tonight. Love, Steve.”

She fervently tore through the wrapping paper, and had to get a knife to cut through all the tape he used to seal the box. When she lifted the lid, the sight of the dress left her breathless. It was a shade of blue so dark it seemed almost black in color. Upon further examination, it was the exact right size and had a short slit that ended at her upper thigh. 

“He bought me a dress for our date. I can’t believe it.”

After quickly slipping it on, she found it to be a perfect fit, as if the dress had been cut to her exact measurements. Normally she would be bothered by the gesture, preferring to choose her own clothes, but she thought damn, Steve does have good taste. Natasha just needed a few more moments to finish getting ready, applying only a light amount of makeup and leaving her hair down. Finally after slipping his dog tags back around her neck and putting on her shoes she ventures out to look for him. All eyes were on her as she walked the corridors, and Clint and Sam were unable to speak at first glance.

“Hey guys. Have you seen Steve anywhere?”

“Umm…, Uh…,”

“Nat, what I think our winged companion is trying to say is that Steve left us this note to give to you.”

“Did he tell you what he wrote in it?”

“No, and he said if we open it, we would have an extra month of clean up duty. Now, if you’ll excuse us, I’m going to go throw Sam in a cold shower so he’ll wake up before his date with Maria.”

Natasha laughs at her ability to have left Sam utterly speechless. She’s even glad he got the courage to ask Maria out. When she opens the note, she reads a simple set of directions from Steve.

“I’m out front, look for the car. Can’t wait to see how you look in the dress.”

As she steps out of the front door, the spy feels like an awkward teenager on her way to prom. The stretch limousine in front enhances the feeling, and of course there is a driver waiting to open her door. But when she reaches the car, the man waiting turns around to face her, and it’s not the driver, it happens to be Steve. He’s dressed impeccably in a black tux; completely clean shaven, and smiling brightly holding out a single rose.

“Now this was definitely a surprise Rogers. I wasn’t even sure you knew how to tie a bowtie.”

Her tone is again teasing, but her eyes sparkle in the early moonlight as he blushes because of her joke. 

“I didn’t, but Sam was able to help me out. Turns out I’m all thumbs when it comes to formal wear.”

“Well, you look handsome. So, where are we going?”

“Oh no, that part is still a surprise. You do look stunning in the dress. I made a good choice?”

“You know you did. Is that rose for me?”

With another bright smile, Steve hands the rose to her. Then he opens her door, and helps her in. When they’re both in the car, Happy Hogan drives them to their destination.

“Steve, how did you get Tony to let Happy drive us tonight?”

“I didn’t. Apparently he felt like he owed you a favor. If you want, you’ll have to tell me about it someday.”

When the car finally came to a stop, Natasha was astonished to find that they had arrived at New York’s harbor. Steve had booked a cruise around New York for the two of them. As the night continued on, Natasha couldn’t keep from staring at the stars, and enjoying the feeling of Steve’s arms wrapped around her. Her mind was racing with thousands of different thoughts, but only one of them popped out as a question.

“Steve, can I ask you something?”

“Anything, Nat.”

“Do you want to get married?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so now we're nearing the official end of the story. There is at least one more chapter, but maybe two. The extension of this story has been for all my readers, and I sincerely hope you've enjoyed this continuing journey of Steve and Natasha through the canon divergence from the MCU. So one more chapter because I can't leave the story on a cliff-hanger, but I'm beginning to think it's lost what made it special since I began writing it. I like the kudos that I get, but I don't write to get them. I write because I enjoy it, and I hope others enjoy reading my work. So a question for all who have read and continue to read, has this story done what I wanted it too, with a few more chapters, or should I have left it where it was with chapter 14 as the original ending. As always I appreciate all of your comments, I read every one of them, and without you guys, I wouldn't still be writing or improving on my writing. Thanks to all of you.


	18. Answers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter, and it's up to the readers to imagine where Steve and Natasha go from here with this story. Thank you all for taking the time to read, review and leave kudos. I appreciate each and everyone of you who has taken the time to do so. This is just a short chapter to wrap everything up. I have other works on here, so feel free to read my other Steve/Nat stories.

“Do you want to get married?”

The question hung in the air around the couple for what seemed to be an interminable amount of time. Steve’s thoughts were a chaotic whirlwind and he could only imagine what Natasha was thinking about the question. It was asked innocently enough, sure, but now it was out there and he couldn’t come up with an answer. It wasn’t until she turned around in his arms that he could begin to think clearly again. He thought the look in her eyes would be a storm of emotion raging to break free, but instead there was just a calm acceptance, and a whole-hearted belief that his answer wouldn’t change anything between them. After a moment the straightforward answer comes.

“Someday, maybe.”

“Someday? What’s that supposed to mean?”

Where Natasha was initially calm, confusion enters her eyes. The simple question she asked has given her a nagging fear that she might have unintentionally pushed him away.

“Natasha, I love you, never doubt that. But what I want doesn’t matter unless…,”

“Don’t do that. What you want does matter, it matters to me.”

“...unless you want it as well. Do I want to get married, the house in the suburbs, the whole nine yards? Someday yes, if it’s in the cards for me, for us. But you have to want it too.”

“Steve I…,”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Anything.”

“Where is this coming from? I mean, we both heard the question that Lila asked. But she was just being a curious five year old.”

“You remember that night I walked out on you?”

Steve drops his eyes as if to say don’t remind me, but Natasha cups his chin so they can be eye to eye while she says this.

“I drove for thirteen hours to get to Clint’s house. And he told me something I’ll never forget. We talked a lot about how he has a normal life and I was envious of that. I didn’t think I ever could. But he said to me that I can have anything I want, as long as I have the courage to take what I want.”

“Good advice.”

“But that wasn’t all. Laura also told me something I’ll never forget. I had convinced myself that I wasn’t the type of woman you need. But I realize now that the type of woman you need was never my decision to make. What she told me is that I should ask you what you want. So that’s what I’m doing.”

“Nat, I only want you, just as you are. Whether we get married or not, I have everything I could only dream about back during the war. A life with you by my side makes me the happiest man in the world.”

Natasha knew he couldn’t get more honest with her than that. So she pulled him close and leaned her head against his shoulder as the music from the cruise ship’s speakers began to play. As they began to sway to the music, Steve knew that this was the dance he had waited seventy-five years for. And even though he’ll always miss what might have been with Peggy, he wouldn’t trade the woman in his arms for anything. Proof that there is more than one right partner for everyone. Steve Rogers and Natasha Romanoff are facing a future, and no matter what ghosts are still haunting them, they’ll always be stronger than their pasts because they’re together.

The End


End file.
